maybe
POSTED AT 10:06 PM

natanna

 

Maybe love
     Is nothing more than familiarity
A comfortable space
     To be who you thought you were

Maybe friends
     Are nothing more than echoes
An acknowledging nod
     To what you think you are

And maybe life
     Is nothing more than vapour
A brief span
     To be filled with empty longings

 

      

Reporting from Alor Setar
POSTED AT 09:18 PM

natanna

So I start of thinking, I should blog, but I really don't know what to write about. I'm sleepy, but it's not even 9pm yet. Yikes.

I've been in Alor Setar (a really small town) since Sunday, and I keep thinking it's Wednesday today because I've been working for three days already. I'm wondering if I should continue working, but I'm rather reluctant to as I think, from what I know of what I have left outstanding, that I can probably finish it up tomorrow, and still have Thursday as a buffer. Probably. If I want to by kiasu or super hardworking, or extremely prudent, I'd work tonight.

But I don't feel like it.

Actually, I never feel like it. Nights are for frittering away on twitter and facebook and blogging and reading and writing and...

I haven't been writing for a while. In fact, I totally FORGOT about ABNA and I will definitely not be able to make the Feb 7 deadline. Sigh. Notes to self, remember to EDIT in time for free proof deadline. Not like last year!

And probably no one knows what I'm talking about now. It's okay.

I had dinner with a friend yesterday. It was... interesting. I think I haven't met him since '02, or thereabouts.

And now I'm distracted and malas.

I prefer one-on-ones, really. But somehow, people seem to think an invitation must be open.

frustration
POSTED AT 10:42 PM

natanna

Today, I had this conversation:

Girl: What basis (for selecting intercompany confirmations) should we put here? 

Me: How many intercompanies do we have?

Girl: Two...

Me: How many confirmations are we sending?

Girl: Two.

Me: So what's the basis?

Girl: Uh..........

Me: (Ok, be nice, help her out) We're sending to all the intercompanies right?

Girl: Yeah

Me: So what's the basis?

Girl: Uh.....

Me: (imaginary head bang) We're sending to ALL the intercompanies, right? All, right?

Girl: Yeah...

Me: So what should the basis be?

Girl: *stupid blank look*

Me: HAIYO!!! THE BASIS IS ALL LAH!!!!! 

 

 Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

Save meeeeeeeeeeee.

And yes, I yelled.

Toilet thought for the day
POSTED AT 10:03 PM

natanna

It just occurred to me to think, whilst in the shower, that Malaysia is the only country in which the majority believes that it needs protection from the minority, despite the fact that the government is mainly made up of the majority, and none of the minority are actually resorting to violence...

And yes, I had to repeat that (or a gist of it) in my mind several times because I have a track record of forgetting everything I think of. Early onset of alzheimers / dementia at twenty-five? Or merely just lazy thinking? I'd go with the latter. Technology nowadays makes it so that you don't really need to remember anything anymore.

A few weeks / months down the road, I will re-read this post and think... I thought that? Really? 

guilt
POSTED AT 09:16 PM

natanna

because I told myself I would work, but the other side of my brain protests that it's a weekend, and weekends are not for work, unless the deadline is tomorrow (or today). I need to remind myself that I am not my job, my work will still be there tomorrow, life is more than staring at my laptop and fiddling with numbers and analyses.

I think I am succeeding, looking at the amount of work I accomplished this weekend (as of now, nil) but I need to work on getting the guilty feeling out of my psych, as if I am doing my homework at the last minute. 

Then again, maybe I need to get some things done so that I won't wake up feeling stressed tomorrow. 

Maybe after my bath. 

Or not. 

Stop feeling guilty, you silly little idiot. 

There are times that I wish I didn't always feel the need to be so responsible. Hence my mantra, "don't care, don't know, don't want to know!"

---

[Aside] 

Writing: fail. Note how many times I use the same word, even in the same sentence. Argh. Simon is getting to me. Then again, this is not fiction, flash or otherwise. 

belated bragging
POSTED AT 02:55 PM

natanna

So Felix Voon said it sounds glamorous, so there it is:

I'm twenty-five, and an Assistant Manager in KPMG.

For 16 days now.

 

flash fiction: apart
POSTED AT 10:21 PM

natanna

I never really was part of your story, no matter how contemporaneous. Reality: barely intersected; a highway speeding by several miles above. The years crumbled, dust; scattered by a breath. How maudlin of me to imagine things would never change, months that roll by disintegrating with a smile - pointless romanticism. You never were the friend I thought you were, or wished; maybe. Rose-tinted past, fragmented; bleeding edges across the pink kiss of hope. Lingering, but gone, an elephant in the room. Stilted words, like corpses in the hall. 

I never really was part of your story. I don't know why I thought you were part of mine. 

---

A study in word selection.

Could have been better.

Now if only the internet would stabilise.