Entries for February, 2004
February 1st, 2004
Happy Birthday, Yuin! :birthday: POSTED AT 07:08 PM I'm sick. Got the sniffles and got it bad. I think I'm a bit feverish too... And this was supposed to be a good holiday.  Excited about what's in store for d2... will tell you guys later. :D Listening to: anna's the sniffles of the sick... hehe Feeling: sick 1 talked!
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February 3rd, 2004
Sickness POSTED AT 12:56 PM But oh well, who cares? It's holidays... which means I'm on the computer the whole day anyway.Eeks... I'm supposed to worship lead on Friday and Saturday. I hope my voice will still be around then.  Snow I had this cool poem that I found in a book that I thought I'd quote when Josh was talking about snow, but David took it to school. It had something to do with snow and food, written by some Singaporean. Oh well. Another time then. Today I woke up later than usual, which means something like 10am. Had breakfast... went online... Got a call from Ivan. He's bored in Penang. So he came over for a while... and we chatted... and then he went to go disturb Clarene. I foresee another afternoon of writing and reading. Man, I could just envy Francis and his little trip! But I would really miss my computer. :D Reading: Fyodoy Dostoevsky's The Idiot Feeling: sick |
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February 4th, 2004
Be Still POSTED AT 01:40 PM Wednesday, 04 February 2004 Be still and know that He is God Do you think it's just "chance" that got Jan 30, 31 and Feb 1 of Streams in the Desert to talk about "being still" just when I decided to read it? And even if that was "chance" (though I highly doubt so), it can't be chance that Deb said this to me in response to my blog: "Just wondered... is there anything wrong with standing still? What if all you were to do was to be still? It is harder to stand still (be still and know that He is God! For e.g.) when others are expecting something to be done. And if one is standing still "in comparison" to others, doesn't that mean that probably one is still moving, just at a different speed? And wouldn't it make sense that the turtle is slower than the hare, and yet that's what each is called to do?" And yet, being "still" raises it's questions - not so much "so what am I to do now?" but rather "Am I still near God?" I realise I haven't been very still. I've been running around doing Star of Persia, CF Camp, then Christmas Celebration and as soon as I finish one project it seems I'm starting another. And there isn't a lot of time to be still. In fact, previous promises to read my Bible every night and to meet in college to pray in the mornings have almost disappeared in all the activity. George Matheson is quoted in Streams in the Desert as saying "You are not always worthy of the wilderness - you are only worthy of the wilderness after the splendour of the Jordan River experience. Nothing but the Son's vision can equip you to carry the Spirit's burden, and only the glory of the baptism can withstand the hunger of the desert." Sometimes I call my dryness my self-induced desert. And I know that it is to some extent self-induced for having neglected to read the Word... and sometimes virtually ignoring His voice during altar calls. And yet, He speaks in a voice that can't be avoided. It's like virtual bombardment. Like "read My Word" comes every so often... accompanied by "come on, spend some time with Me." And this comes out sounding really "spiritual" (like wow! God spoke to you!), but it's not really. It's just something I know I have to do, but struggle doing, but the urge is there and I have to listen to it. |
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February 4th, 2004
Stuffed Nose = Painful Teeth? POSTED AT 08:34 PM Exalt I finally got the song EXALT from Wen Ping. I had a lightning strike to the brain and remembered she bought some CDs when we were in KL last year. The song is recorded by Altered Frequency. Yay! We get to sing a new song at fireBRANDS this week! Aloof I am very, very sad to announce this. It seems to me like I'm finishing the story already! And I'm only working on Chapter 32. Currently 35720 words. I guess I won't be meeting my target of 50,000 words, but then again, I never met my deadline of November 30 anyway. And it's still the longest story I've ever written in my life and in the shortest timespan. Listening to: Altered Frequency's Exalt Feeling: a lot of things |
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February 4th, 2004
Woah. POSTED AT 10:27 PM as a favorite post Of course, if in the course of reading you think I haven't concluded anything I brought up properly, you can always tell me. Eg. so does Max like Natasha? to which I will tell you "no, duh." Whatever questions you have, if I can answer, means you must have forgotten that I already dealt with it. If I can't, I'll add in some explanation or something somewhere and notify you.
Feeling: impressed |
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February 6th, 2004
Chili Corn Carne POSTED AT 09:04 AM  Like... woah... David?Friendster I'm deciding I really like Friendster despite the slowness and all. I found a few old old friends from like Sibu days. Ain't that so cool?      Like... woah... cool... HeheJobless Yeah, I'm going to be JOBLESS today. Gonna go out for breakfast with some CF friends and then go "anywhere" and do "anything". Right. |
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February 7th, 2004
Yesterday POSTED AT 02:43 PM Anyway. So breakfast, then Wai Yi, Clarene and I were at my place while Ivan went to get his "table" from his house, and Hui Wen went to buy UTAR forms. Right. They took ages. Later on, went to One Stop because Hui Wen wanted to get photo albums. I bought 2 books! I love buying books! I mean, a hardcover for only RM7.90?! And there was a 70% discount on another... making it only RM6.88. Well, more for me to do then. Funny thing is, now that I'm surrounded by books, I'm using the computer more and not reading so much. Strange. Ate lunch at Strawberry Cafe. Had trouble finding it, actually. I thought it was on the third floor. Clarene thought it was on the 2nd floor. It's on the 4th floor. Intended to write yesterday, but was too lazy and tired, and distracted by chatting with Timothy. Voice almost all there... some phlegm still somewhere around though. Listening to: Altered Frequency's track11. Don't know the name. |
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February 7th, 2004
God POSTED AT 10:37 PM In conjunction with that, I'm deciding to go on a little computer fast because I think that I've really been spending too much time on the computer and on the internet (right, I'm always online) from tomorrow till Tuesday. I was thinking of doing that with a story book fast, which means the only thing I'll be doing is cleaning my room and reading my Bible and praying, but on second thoughts, that's a little too scary for me at the moment. Okay, so that's it from me until Wednesday. Pray for me. |
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February 11th, 2004
Joshua asks... POSTED AT 03:59 PM Right now, I'm not too sure. I have to think through what I've been doing the past three days. SUNDAY Church. Dad talked about 1 John (again). And I guess while the message wasn't all that different, I guess maybe I'm more receptive now. Or more willing. Going back to the basics was part of it, and also the growing up thing. Growing from "little children" to "young men" to "fathers". And I guess its not so strange to be asking God to make us willing to be willing. It's like, you want to do it, you want to just submerge yourself into God, but somehow it's hard. I really want to read His Word and it's been on my heart and mind for ages, but when I get to it, its like, "God, I'm tired. I know I should't be online until so late, but I did it again, and I'm really tired so I guess you'll understand if I don't read my Bible again tonight." While that's honest and I'm sure God appreciates that, it still isn't right. I went up for prayer. It just felt right. Like all the other times, I'd feel like I should be up there but I just couldn't bring myself to move there. But this time, it just came naturally. I just went. Aunt Glynnis prayed for me. (Is that how you spell her name? Whoops..) She said God wants to wrap me up like cotton wool. eg. When you grow those little bean things, the cotton wool has to be fully wrapped around the bean before it can grow.In the end, this life isn't really about me or who I am at a given moment in time. It's about who God's growing me to be now and forever. Sometimes, I hate growing. Just like I hate thinking. But it's always necessary. Because I hate standing still as well. Yeah, anyway, what really struck me - I think - about Sunday was the part about being "totally God's". It was already said - and struck home - on Saturday about being totally for God. Only Saturday put it as "total obedience = instant surrendering". (That's what I wrote anyway.) And I was feeling guilty and wondering if I hadn't been obedient because I just had this urge to dance during worship, like the spontaneous dance thingy... but I was scared. I'm still thinking of it, really. Maybe I will the next time I feel like it. But its like "that's just not done!" Right. So what have I learnt from Sunday? Um. Surrender to God. There's still so much of life I'm keeping to myself and there are times I know this is something I want to do for God, and I'm pretty sure it's God telling me to do stuff, but I still get scared of people and what they think. Strange story of my life - wanting to fit in with others yet not bothering about them most of the time. I shall split up the rest into another post because frankly, I still need time to think, and this is getting really long. I need to get by the fireplace out too... Feeling: hot. As in sweaty hot |
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February 11th, 2004
Some pictures... POSTED AT 04:22 PM David said: my friend was his lotch (lost his watch) I said: Car Tollege (Tar College) and sized bled (sliced bread) I got Ee Laine to scan some recent photos for me. Thanks Ee Laine! I love you! It's a little blur though, some of them. (see gallery)
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February 11th, 2004
PRIVILEGED POSTED AT 05:20 PM Wednesday, 11 February 2004 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13 Have you considered how privileged you are to have heard the Gospel? And to have heard the true Gospel? I just started reading The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard and I never knew how watered down the Gospel could be. And yet, thinking over it, yeah. Sometimes we do water it down to make it 'simple'. Reading his examples of (as he says) 'the Gospel on the Right' – emphasis on atonement alone – and 'the Gospel on the Left' – emphasis on social works – I'm somehow shocked at how lucky I am. To have been born in a Christian family – a Christian family in faith and works and not in name alone – seems pretty much a big blessing and miracle to me. I think I might either be totally wild or desperately depressed by now if I weren't in this family (no matter how much they drive me crazy) because here I have a base; a strong base to rely on. And it's not just a flighty statement of "God is with me", but also a supportive network of friends and family who know God and model Him to me. It's hard to ignore God when you're as privileged as me. Which makes it pretty scary, because the stakes are higher. The more privileged you are, the more you know, the more responsible you have to be. And when I think about the blessings He has poured into my life – the talents and gifts I have – it makes it even scarier. The stakes are high, but the prize is higher – an eternal life now and a support for life that’s better and cheaper than any psychiatrist. And if Jesus can lay His life down for me, I guess the best I can do is do the same. And laying my life down at this moment doesn't even entail dying. It's living. Living for the cross and for the King. Reading: Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy |
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February 12th, 2004
Joshua asks... 2 POSTED AT 04:37 PM On Monday I went to get my new IC done. Took about the whole day to get all the stuff processed. An interesting thing happened. The computer jammed for a while (after processing mine) so my mum and dad were stuck at the counter for a while (they were getting theirs done too.) And the Malay woman at the counter looked at her form and went "oh, Christian!" Then she rushed with the IC to another computer and did something. The Indian guy serving my dad did the same too. I wonder why. Anyway, what did I do on Monday and Tuesday? Well, besides TV, I read my Bible, cleaned part of my room and started reading The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard. I also finished 'Tis by Frank McCourt. Some of the stuff I was thinking of I already blurted in by the fireplace 6.2. If you don't receive that, it's posted in the fireBRANDS community. Or you could gimme your email and I'll add you to the list I finally finished with John, started on Acts and read a couple of the minor prophets. I don't really get what the minor prophets are saying, but that could be because of all the obscure symbolism and old English I'm reading here. I really want to get one of those "storybook-English" Bibles. The Message or Amplified or something. Haha.. Old King James gets stuffy after a while and is no good reading when you have a headache. Not that I have a headache, but that's just an example. [not so subtle hint? ]I liked Haggai though I don't really understand it. Because of a really superfluous reason - God says He's gonna bless them from the day the foundations of the temple was laid... and that was the 24th day of the 9th month! And that's like my birthday! Haha... dumb reason, right? But anyway, Haggai 2:9 says the glory of the latter house will be greater than the former and I guess that's us! Maybe. John 15 struck me a lot with the "Abide in Him and His words must abide in me" part. And its like "duh, if you don't read the Bible and you don't care about what He has to say, how are you gonna be effective in your ministry?" Right. Anyway, watched Two Towers again and I still hate the way they portrayed Boromir and Faramir. Yeesh. We still have David's Chili Corn Carne in the fridge and its getting nauseating to eat it in the morning with bread and in the afternoon with baked beans and it never seems to finish. I joined f2k again. Whee!! That's it for now. |
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February 12th, 2004
lizards and cheesecake POSTED AT 09:37 PM After fetching my bro (or rather before) from piano class, my parents bought me cheesecake! To share with David la... Everybody say "blueberry cheesecake!" Hm. I dunno how this goes but pink = blue on my screen. |
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February 13th, 2004
I love Shari!!! POSTED AT 07:09 PM Aiks.. more explanation later. Dinner time. Feeling: hungry and happy |
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February 13th, 2004
...back to the play... POSTED AT 08:08 PM Anyway, went to her grandma's house on Jones Road at 3pm to meet the crew. Met Shazwan and Yong Sean. The Johan guy didn't appear and Oliver was busy. So plus Shari and me, that's 6 people. Okies... so we were waiting for Johan for a bit, but it seems he has a "time" problem because by 4 plus we (they) decided to forget about him. We watched some of the stuff that was done the previous year and some of them are good. Well, admittedly I didn't get most of what they were saying - only Yong Sean knew because he's Chinese-Ed - but their acting is pretty good. Not really my style - some are overdramatised, and some are a bit gross, but okay. So anyway, our theme will be more based on teen problems and stuff; our most concrete idea at the moment is "school counsellor" and "some teens". We'll be going round to some schools to interview some counsellors to get more stuff and to create people soon. Anyways... go Shari! Love her... hahhahahhahahah |
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February 13th, 2004
Don't call me Auntie! POSTED AT 11:42 PM As far as I know, her name is Danielle Jochebed Ridgers. Oo... I'm an "auntie" now! Hehe... Cell Group was kinda "bleah". But Francis showed me his pics from Rome on Ian's laptop after cg so that was kinda cool. Had lovely chocolate cake. Now I'm banging on the computer with a flighty idea for Silverfish that came while thinking over the meeting with Shari and others. But so far it's just bits and pieces of conversation. Back to work! Feeling: old |
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February 14th, 2004
HUGGIES!! POSTED AT 02:44 PM So now you guys can give me huggies both here and at tripod. |
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February 15th, 2004
Valentine Schmalentine POSTED AT 12:13 AM Valentine's at youth was pretty nice. Dresscode: formal. I was there early because of the dance practice thing. So brought my dress (my CNY dress) and was talking with some others - Eunice Lim, Euodia and Rachel Thum. Eunice Ooi and Praeme had gone to Praeme's house to get ready and all that. I was intending to put make-up but the others didn't so pai seh. Waited around. The guys came out and served us drinks. Some orange-Sprite thing, I think. Anyway, Ian and Mark started serenading us with the violins and then we were supposedly able to go in already. so we went to the door, signed guestbook and waited... and waited... After waiting we were escorted in by these two cute little guys. Samuel Thum and his friend. (Have no idea what his name is) Sitting and sitting and sitting... Ian came over to play for us. Nice. Some one gave Vanessa a box of Ferrero Roche. Enviousnya... So they got stuff going. Francis was emceeing (why is it always him? Other guys have nothing to say?) There were some appreciation speeches, a very confused game, photo guessing, poem reading (and on and on) while we had dinner - spaghetti that they said was cooked by Eu Wye. Judson sang a song and played the piano. Jeremy, Joshua Tan and Caleb came up and performed a song that they wrote - something about missing you. Words were blurish. Caleb should learn pronunciation from Josh. Joshua Tan should sing louder. Jeremy should sing. Haha. Oh. Chiu Yen guessed Mr Valentine and won the new Passion CD. The closing was nice. Leroy played and sang When You Say Nothing At All. He's got a nice voice, clear pronunciation and nice playing. Sweet. If he were older than me I could fall. Hahaha... Then while he played a second time, the guys came out and gave us girls a flower and a card with the poem that Lee Shyong wrote. Well, the poem is okay. I'd reformat some stuff, but I have to say that it didn't sound all that impressive when he read it. It looked better on paper. He's not a poem reader. Decor - blue and red glass paper on the florescent lights. A sort of pinkish tone to the room. Red cloth on round tables. Little candle thingy in the middle of the table with potpourri and surrounded by little coloured stones. Some red cloth hangings on the ceiling of the middle of the room. Valentines Rant Here goes. What I really hate about Valentine's now is that it makes me feel old. Imagine this: I've passed through 19 Valentine's Days (maybe we shouldn't count when I was a kid) and I haven't received a proper Valentine all this while! Well, if you want to count those "sock" projects we did in Fm 1 & 2, then I have, but those don't count! It was a everybody-is-doing-so-I-better-do kind of thing, not an I-want-to-give-you-something thing. Today's flower was the first ever flower I received for Valentine's and it doesn't really mean anything much because it wasn't given from the heart. And it was from my brother. And while that's totally sweet, it's not like one of the guys singled me out to give me that one flower. Few of the "old" guys are around anyway. Had feelings of melancholia today. Thanks Chiu Yen for cheering me up. Valentine's Day makes me wish I had a boyfriend. But I don't. Feeling: unloved |
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February 15th, 2004
Sweet. POSTED AT 03:18 PM 214 ROSES FOR GIRL HE ADMIRES |
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February 15th, 2004
February 15th, 2004
Princess! POSTED AT 11:46 PM You are a Princess! Lovely, Innocent, Charming! As a Princess you recognize there is so much about the world you need to learn. You may sometimes be naive but other times you are wise beyond your years! You are sharp, observant, joyous, and interested in your own personal growth. You have a very caring heart, and are a sweet and beautiful woman. Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi. [img:144800] |
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February 17th, 2004
I been buzy. POSTED AT 11:59 AM Spent Monday doing not much. Went to college to talk to Ms Ng about UTAR and KTAR. Result? Confusion. Sigh. Timetable is not out yet - wasted journey to the college la because I could have gone to see Ms Ng at any other time. But my mommy wanted to go so... whatever. Oh yeah, I watched The Fellowship of The Ring yesterday. I watched Two Towers sometime last week. And then I was thinking... shouldn't I have watched the Fellowship before Two Towers? Oh well... waiting for ROTK extended. Been writing loads. Wait. That's an exaggeration. Been sitting at the computer to write loads, but the results aren't that much. Do you guys wanna see my next story? It's rather vague at the moment though - and I'm a little stuck at how to bring the people to where I want them to be. Oh well. If you guys want it I'll upload it, if not... hahaha... They are so not working with me!David is wandering around the house and not getting ready for school. And biting his shirt. And laughing. Ouch. He whacked me. And stuck out his tongue. Okay. Now he's going away. Bye David! Okay, that's it. Wish Shari would call so that we can go do the play thingy. Oh dear. I haven't gotten a script for this Saturday yet. I'm busy. (Right.) Feeling: busy |
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February 18th, 2004
RITUAL LAWS v. HEART MATTERS POSTED AT 02:07 PM Wednesday, 18 February 2004 Love does no harm to its neighbour. Therefore love is the fulfilment of the law. Romans 13:10 To succeed in keeping the law one must aim at something other and something more [than keeping the law]. One must aim to be come the kind of person from whom the deeds of the law naturally flow. In Chapter 5 – The Rightness of the Kingdom Heart: Beyond the Goodness of Scribes and Pharisees of Dallas Willard’s The Divine Conspiracy, he compares the ways of the Old Testament (struggles to keep the law) and the new way of the New Testament (God’s grace that enables). Under the new covenant, it’s God’s grace and forgiveness through Jesus Christ that enables us to truly be come the righteous and holy people that God wants us to be. However, in the typical human way, we still tend to go it alone and strive to keep the “laws” that God has set. But it’s impossible. In just keeping the rules, we aim at the actions and behaviour and we don’t go to the root of the matter – the human heart. Jesus ups the ante in the Sermon on the Mount, (Matthew 4:17-7:27) declaring that if you have contempt for your brother will be subject to judgment, and even looking at a woman with lustful eyes commits adultery in his heart. Why does he do that? Because being right with God is not so much acting in the “right” way or keeping the rules, but having a heart that is right with God. Cleaning the inside of the cup guarantees that the outside will be pretty clean, but cleaning the outside of the cup doesn’t guarantee that the insides are clean. David was called “a man after God’s own heart”, but he fell too – he committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered her husband. And yet, he realised the errors of his ways and repented. Of course the consequences were still there – but he had made himself right with God again. When your heart is in the right place, it becomes hard to sin because you’re filled with the love of God. Dallas Willard adds, “When I treasure those around me and see them as God’s creatures designed for His eternal purposes, I do not make an additional point of not hating them or calling them twerps of fools. Not doing those things is simply part of the package.” |
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February 19th, 2004
PASSION: Sacred Revolution POSTED AT 12:37 AM It is LATE at night (early morning?), and I'm listening to it, while waiting for my hair to dry so that I can sleep!!! But the CD is jumping. I don't know if it's my stupid CD player or if it's the CD. Probably my player. It has a history of acting up. I had a horrible scare when it decided not to read the CD for a whole long time. (Maybe 10 minutes with me turning the power on and off and taking the CD out and putting it back in because it wouldn't play.) Stupid CD player.Combined Churches Prayer Meeting I went today. Hah. Highly unusual for me. I went today because I had to dance. Maybe I should make an effort to go more often. The meeting was almost exactly like last year's August 31. Pre-service song, opening dance, worship (same songs.. hah!) video thingy, dad spoke, prayer, closing dance.Think my hair is still full of glitter though I just washed it. Sigh. I hate glitter. It sticks so. Pimples Aunty Christie is horrified at the state of my face. What to do? Had exam stress then had CNY food. Wait. Had Christmas Celebration stress and Christmas food, then only exam stress and CNY food. Haha. Actually, I am pretty horrified at the state of my face as well. I wish I just had naturally good skin. Bleah. Would surely make my life much easier. :_Ooh. That's 3 P's for the day - Passion, Prayer meeting and Pimples. Cute. Yay. I think I can sleep now. Reading: Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy Listening to: Passion's [8] Knees To The Earth |
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February 19th, 2004
I want to buy POSTED AT 04:29 PM Yeah. Another CD to my long list of CDs I want to get. I received a promotional flyer-thingy from Hillsongs a few days ago advertising: Faithful New worship album from Darlene Zschech and the Hillsong team, featureing 12 beautiful studio recorded songs, including a remix of 'Magnificent Comment: Pass. I'll wait for the live recorded one that should normally be out around August / September. Kiss of Heaven In this beautiful new solo album, Darlene Zschech reveals another side to her multi-faceted musical talent, with 14 songs. You will love it! Comment: Uh. Pass. I prefer male solo albums (kidding...) but I'm short on spending cash... especially if I want to get a new hand phone and a discman sometime soon before I go down to KL.Hillsong UNITED - More Than Life The latest in next generation worship, this new album from the Hillsong youth team includes 15 hot worship songs PLUS.. the CD includes a bonus DVD! Comment: CD + DVD? Definitely getting this!!! Muahahahahah Order now! $29.95 - all prices in Australian Dollars and include GST. Riight... funny, isn't it that Aussies buy CDs at $29.95 (RM 89.85 at approx. exchange rate of RM3=$1) and we get it at RM32.90 or so. Heh. Listening to: Jeremy Camp's I Know You're Calling Feeling: like spending... |
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February 20th, 2004
Op-Ed POSTED AT 10:02 PM 1) drums were dull. Oh well, maybe he's a beginner or something. 2) guy vocals were ok, but had no edge 3) the girl vocal was... very sweet. No parts were sung (sang? sung? singed? ), so that meant the girl was singing really high and really sweet. Her voice was ok. I just couldn't stand the sweetness. Basically, the team could have portrayed more energy. Even during worship. My opinion is that "Heart of Worship" is a little oversung. I mean it's a good song and all that but... =/ They tried to segue back from "Heart of Worship" to "Every Day" but it didn't quite work - musicians seemed a little unsure themselves, and as I said, there was no "oomph" to make it work. Girl shared - Christine or something. They did the play - a little bit disjointed so that some relevant parts were missing (probably the actors forgot) but it was ok. The ending one of the girls kind of repeated "Listen to me, Joline" even when Joline didn't say anything But okay. I liked the slap. Should have thought of that. Heh.Oh well. Overall... okay lah.  I think I'm getting too critical... and I don't want to hurt anyone. (Not that anyone involved would most likely read this but... you know, word can spread)I need to stop going for stuff and judging performances. Bleah. Brain - listen to that! Nowadays I can't seem to go to any performance style thing (sometimes even worship) and NOT get this whole list of brain-comments that "they could have done better." sigh Feeling: nothing |
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February 22nd, 2004
Anglican. POSTED AT 11:32 PM First stop - Tesco. Wandered around a bit - nothing much, really. There was a stack of Penguin books on sale between RM1 - RM9.90, but most of the authors where "unknowns" and had funny titles, so didn't get anything. Lots of kids books as well. Saw a big stuffed elephant toy for RM35.90. Soft. Next stop - Central Square. We went in, bought the pearl tea drink (he belanja!) and then wandered up to the top and down again. Shopping mall is... shopping mall la. Saw some silver stores with those big round earrings but didn't really feel like stopping to buy. Then we went to makan dinner at some hawker stall place. Reached back at his house (Anglican Parish.. oOo) and rushed through the back door to the church - he was on duty. It was rather... interesting. Musicians and singers on duty wear this red and white choir robes. The first guy carries in this wooden cross thing and the singers/musicians follow, with the pastor behind (Is he called a pastor??) in his long white robes while they sing the first hymn. They had some scripture reading and then they had worship - all the old songs. (Can't remember which came first because they had a lot of readings)  Pretty much like a normal church service la. Sing songs, pastor preach. But in between they had congregational readings from the "service book". It was also a "memorial" thingy for somebody so there were sharings by the relatives. Hmm... oh yeah, there was this funny thing in the middle of the service - like right in the middle - where they shake hands and say "peace be with you" or something like that.  And they didn't quite shake hands, really. They kinda did the Malay thing only they don't touch their hearts.And communion. I chickened out of communion. You have to go up to the front and kneel there and the pastor gives you the wafer thing and then I think you dip it into the cup or something. I was like... Erm... do I have to do that?? Heh. It was interesting to watch though, because while the pastor was reading the whatever-it-was from the sermon book before the communion he was like making the sign of the cross, then lift up the wafer and break, lift up the cup and put down and there was this part where he stretched out his hands like a cross or something.Then ending time, they had some prayers and then they sang a last hymn and the musicians/singers came back - this time with Ben holding that cross thingy, they sorta bow before the altar there and then walk to the back... with the pastor behind. And then they got into a circle and prayed quietly and then dismissed. So finished singing the hymn then... finish loh. They had food, but Ben introduced me to some of his friends and then my dad came and so we left. Altogether a rather interesting experience. Benedict has nice parents. And his sis Jessica is kinda nice. I think he gets bullied a lot. Jessica kind of bullies him a little. Don't know about his older sister Sarah, but you can bet that an older sister will bully her younger brother.Ooh. He belanja-ed dinner too. Gotta remember to do something nice for him. 
Feeling: comfortable |
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February 23rd, 2004
today POSTED AT 10:56 PM Afternoon - didn't do anything much. Went online a little, read my book, had teabreak - chocolate cake and strawberry ice-cream! Yum! Dad hogged the net line after tea. Did channel surfing. Don't know, just felt like watching TV today. Finally got my dad off the computer so here I am! I still need to finish that d2 team drama draft, and answer those irritating ed-board questions. Classes start tomorrow. Sigh. I have Company Law and Business Maths. Feeling: lazy |
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February 25th, 2004
strange silence... POSTED AT 08:47 PM Ooh it's already the 25th... 2 days since I last posted. Been going through stuff. Passing the CF over to juniors is never easy. Read some thoughts here. I had a bubble bath today (sans the bubbles). Found a long extension chord and brought my CD player into the bathroom. So... I soaked in the cold water, reading Asimov's The Naked Sun and listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's All About Love. |
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February 25th, 2004
CLEAN HANDS, PURE HEARTS POSTED AT 09:54 PM Wednesday, 25 February 2004 Create In me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore until me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Psalms 51:10-12 Both on Sunday and on Tuesday (CF) we sang “Give Us Clean Hands”. It’s a call to come back to God to cleanse us from our sins, our past. Our past. Not just the wrongs we did in the past – but our failures and successes too. Failures – because they bog us down and make us want to give up. Successes – because they fill us with pride and pull us back from reaching higher. Maybe I’m a pessimist. I’m more prone to seeing things as failures than as successes. I just can’t see success. Asked, “Was the Christmas Celebration a success? In what way?” I seriously cannot give a good answer. Yeah, we did so and so… we managed this and that… but in the end I always end up with the answer “we could still have done more, done better.” Passing the CF to the juniors and seeing their passion and the commitment and dedication they are putting in, makes me feel down. Yes, Wai Yi said that it’s not a competition – we’re not trying to see who’s better. But I feel depressed over our failures. We started off as excited as them, but we lost it midway. We failed to pray hard enough, long enough. We started things we never finished – like the bringing people in, the target of each person reaching out to and praying for at least 3 people a year, the care groups. We ended up apathetic. I’m praying and hoping that they won’t end up like that too. Bogged down. In a way, it could be counted as success – we finished our term as a committee that is still together and functioning. But in a way, it’s a failure – for me at least – because it didn’t meet up with what I wanted. Didn’t meet up with the vision I had hoped for. And that brings me to the motivation of the heart. I envisioned a success because I always like being better, doing better. I always think that maybe if we tried this and that “my way” or the way “my church does stuff” it will probably turn out better. I started off with God and a dream in my heart. Somewhere along the way, the dream turned sour because God got left behind. When God was picked up again, the dream had disappeared. God, make me right with You. We bow our hearts / we bend our knees / O Spirit come make us humble We turn our eyes from evil things / O Lord we cast down our idols Give us clean hands / give us pure hearts / let us not lift our souls to another O God let us be a generation that seeks / Who seeks Your face / O God of Jacob |
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February 26th, 2004
hot. too hot. POSTED AT 04:22 PM I went for Company Law tutorial this morning - so boring! I hate the way she talks as if we're like little kids or dimwits or something. Anyway, then had Maths lecture. I love maths!!! Haha... Want to have another bubble bath today... but waste water la... and waste time also - not that I intend to do anything much today. I have maths tutorial to do! Haha... First chapter's great - revision of fm 4 & 5 stuff so... easylah. Congrats to Francis and Lee Shyong! Haven't heard about the other's results yet. And ooh... SPM results on Sat! I stole this pic off someone's gallery - can't remember whose. Reading: Leslie Charteris's Saint Errant Feeling: slighly mad |
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February 27th, 2004
Josh beat me to it! POSTED AT 04:59 PM Hey, MBS not bad you know? From 5 straight A's last year to 21! So.. as far as I know... I now know 4 super smart people - Francis, Lee Shyong, Carene and Amelia. Woah. [img:157990] |
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February 28th, 2004
Results... results... results... results POSTED AT 12:18 PM Eunice Lim: 9As Janice Cheng: 9A1s. 1A2. Woah, that's like... 10As!! Renee: 8?? Erica: 9?? Rachel Khoo: 7 Who else took SPM?? Shari got 5!! Ahah.. tomorrow must go see STAR online dy... MGS didn't do very well la. =/ My results coming out soon too... Scared! Feeling: impressed |
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February 29th, 2004
WARNING: long entry POSTED AT 04:23 PM Don't mind, do ya?I woke up at 10am yesterday only because my mum had an emergency with the fish - the new tank was leaking. So I had to help her rescue the fish. Oh well, I was almost awake anyway. Wasted time online, doing stuff, bleah. Read When Mean Authors Happen To Good Characters. You just gotta read it. It's sweet!  Left the house at 2.15 - 2.20. Reached Gottlieb road at about 2.25 and got my eye stuff from the optometrist's. I called Charlotte then to say I'd be there soon to fetch her, unfortunately the road was jammed because of some funeral thing. Got to her house at about 2.40 - and that was such a short stretch of road! Ok, then had to fetch Ming. Reached Logan at about 2.50 and noted to her, "guess what, we're going to be late again." We reached church at about 3.10. These are all approximations because my car clock is about 10 minutes fast, and I can never keep track of when I am following the car clock and when I have mentally corrected the time. I think I am SO giving up on driving because I can NEVER reach anywhere on time when I drive! Either I need to start earlier, or I need to drive faster. Sigh. So... we had a very blur practice - the drama is next week! Argh!  I wore a sari-type thingy for Chad and Nicole's wedding yesterday. Fake sari. It was actually a skirt and a top, and then a shawl which u tuck one side into the skirt and drape it around you in sari style. Heh. Everyone was so pretty! Last night I couldn't sleep so I was thinking of how I wanted to do my hair for my wedding. If I get married. The wedding was really nice - garden wedding - at Uncle Johan Bell's house. But I decided my wedding will be in an air-conditioned hall because it was SO hot! Nicole looked really pretty. It was kind of non-traditional. We left the wedding at about 8.30pm for the SAND concert. Somehow I was under the impression that the concert started at 7.30pm, but it actually only started at 8.30pm! So we weren't that late. Eli and Joss and Joe and her 'driver' (can't remember his name - I don't think he's from TARC, is he?) were somewhere... I went upstairs with Benedict and Ivan and Kenny. Wen Ping and Clarene went to change (I already changed at the house) and we lost track of them. Patrick Leong's voice is nice - but the effect of the "concert" was spoilt by the fact that he sang to his tracks, and not with a live band. And he was the only person on stage. SAND has improved. I like the more guitar-driven and less synthesized sound that the PCC people (Daryl lah) brought in. My favourite part of the program was when some of the guys from the SAND band (I think most were PCC members. Don't know) sang their own song - Turn Around (something like that). Daniel Chan and Daryl harmonise pretty well. Maybe I'm biased, but I still like Josh's songs better. Met lots of people. Teresa was there with her mum. Pn Ang and kid, Chris Wang (TARC), Kevin something (ex-TARC), lots of PCC people, Eunice Lim and Varsha, Rebecca Chuah and family too! So after concert, we went for supper at Golden Horse and then we crashed Shari's house and made lots of noise. Joe really loved Shari's dog - Wags. Reached home at about 12.15pm. Had loads of fun. This morning, I had this song stuck in my brain. Was humming it while driving. We Will Dance Sigh. Had lunch with Yuin-Y today. This IS long. Had this phrase stuck in my brain during worship Not for man's praises But Your's alone I lift my voice to worship You If I knew how, I'd make that into a song. The thing I can't remember is, did I think of that myself? Or did I read it somewhere? Oh well. Altered Frequency coming on March 13 at TOG! Yeay! Listening to: Steven Curtis Chapman's We Will Dance Feeling: romantic |
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