Entries for October, 2004
October 1st, 2004
brain works POSTED AT 12:26 PM You are drawn to a random and sometimes nonchalant synthesis of material. You learn as it seems important to a specific situation, and might even develop a resentment of others who attempt to direct your learning down a specific channel. Your right-hemispheric dominance provides a structure that is only loosely organized and one which processes entire swatches of reality, overlooking details. You are emotional in your reactions and perceptual more than logical in your approach, although you can impose structure and a language base when necessary. Your auditory preference, on the other hand, implies that you process information sequentially and unidimensionally. This combination of right-brain and auditory modes creates conflict, as you want to process data more rapidly than your natural processes allow. Your tendency to be creative and free-flowing is accompanied by sufficient ability to organize and be logical, allowing you a reasonable degree of success in a number of different endeavors. You take in information methodically and systematically which can then be synthesized rapidly. In this manner, you manage to function consistently well, although certainly less efficiently than you desire. You prefer the abstract and are a theoretician at heart while retaining the ability to be practical. You find the symbolism in a great deal of what you encounter and are something of a "mystic." With regards to your lifestyle, you have the mentality which would be good as a philosopher, writer, journalist, or instructor, or possibly as a systems designer or social worker. Perhaps most important is your ability to "listen to your inner voice" as a mode of skipping over unnecessary steps to achieve your goals. http://www.mindmedia.com/brainworks/profiler talk to me!
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October 1st, 2004
plans and plans POSTED AT 04:25 PM Am meeting Yuin tomorrow... going to Pyramid... and visiting Acts.  Later will be going out with new camp friends!! Hehe... Have 6 pages of writing to type and rewrite... or maybe I should just forget it. Hmm... no good... must keep the impressions in my heart. Hehe... Whutever. oh yeah... Andrew's site has cool MI pics up!!
Listening to: your touch [kutless] |
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October 5th, 2004
tiredness.... POSTED AT 09:52 AM okie. Friday... watched a movie... had OM... Saturday met up with Yuin at Pyramid... visited Acts... Sunday went to church and had practice... watched MI at Bethel... Monday went to Ikano/Ikea... went to cell... and today... wake up... wash clothes... blog... later class. Oh wow, class. Sigh.  Now in the process of looking for food. Still have not looked at that 6 pages of writing, and am afraid I'm a little frightened by my own thoughts because it means I will have to DO something about them. Anyway. Food. |
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October 5th, 2004
a few birthday wishes that I forgot POSTED AT 05:51 PM Oh. and in advance (in case I forget) happy birthday Nicky!! (Thurs, right?) Oh. And Michelle Tan, I think... was it the 3rd? Darn... forgetting so many birthdays. Why so many at one time? Whutever. Today's class was... erm... was a class. I got bored. Sigh. Need to get back into that study mood ler. |
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October 6th, 2004
early morning! POSTED AT 09:32 AM Went with Bethelites Calvin and the-girl-whose-name-I-can't-recall to buy food for... tonight's steamboat! We're having steamboat at Bethel tonight!  By the way, for those who don't know... there are 5 Christian houses around TBR - Bethel, Agape, Jehovah Jireh (J.J.), Charis and Jehovah Rapha (J.R.). Well... now that I'm up so early, I have to figure out something to do. |
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October 6th, 2004
boat of hot water POSTED AT 11:44 PM Visited the libe today, and borrowed three books. Haha... Oh well, first week of sem, nothing much to do yet. Haven't even gotten any tutorial questions. Anna, please get into study mode... Ish ish. Lecture was so boring today!! Thinking, next year, I'm going to have a problem choosing streams. Maybe Tax will still be better than Audit. Theory papers are... boring? But pity the poor lecturer anyways. She said she was recovering from dengue. |
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October 7th, 2004
theme song: chem 6A POSTED AT 02:51 PM Nothing but a chemical in my head Yeah. Anyways. Erm. Can't remember what I wanted to say. Shall go back to my book. Reading: veronika decides to die [paulo coelho] |
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October 7th, 2004
book review: veronika decides to die [paulo coelho] POSTED AT 06:03 PM When she walked into the room? Why did she think to say Her final goodbyes? A fatal premonition A heavy, burdened heart A secret longing To end her weary life Wrote that a while back, for no apparent reason. No, I’m not suicidal and I’m not depressed. It was just one of those wild fey things you write once in a while. It resurfaced in my mind this afternoon while reading Veronika Decides To Die by Paulo Coelho so I dug it up from the book I wrote it in. To sum the whole story up, it’s about a young Slovene girl, Veronika, who after being saved from her attempted suicide finds that there’s so much more to live for than she ever thought before. There’s so much more to love about herself than what she had ever discovered before. And she could only discover it in a mental asylum where she had the freedom to be who she really was. To do what you really want. At the moment, what I really want to do is write and write well. You know, when I was younger I wanted to act and sing and dance (younger includes all the time until I came to KL) but I don’t think I ever wanted to do it as desperately as I want to write NOW. It’s like finally finding your purpose in life and realising that if you really want to do that, you really have to work at your talents. To really work at it, research into it, try it out, improve and accept criticism. I have books on writing. I’ve finished reading all of them except the last (somewhere in the middle of it). But I can’t just read it. I have to write it. So what I’m doing now is I’m trying to rewrite Aloof… to make it sound less tacky and to try and see if the stuff I’m reading in those writers books actually work. Am still experimenting with my writing voice. It’s a carpe diem thing – to make the most of every living moment. One conclusion you draw from the book is that every one of us is just a little mad. Each person is just a little bit (or a lot) different from each other and wants to do his/her own thing in life. What is madness? Living in your own reality. What is reality? I love Coelho’s writing. It’s deep and yet light. How do you explain that? I mean, it’s serious and it explores issues and yet it’s interesting and easy reading. Something like Jostein Gaarder, but Gaarder is somehow a little heavier (could be the translating). Am hoping to find more of his books in the library (this was the only one I found so far). Oh yeah, another good book is by Sharon M. Draper - Darkness Before Dawn. It promotes good morals - like no premarital sex and listening to your parents. And all done in a very nice way, not preachy, but just conclusions drawn by the teen characters themselves. Clean and enjoyable. It does explore some darker issues like rape and death though. However the teens have a tendency to sound like blacks on American TV.
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October 8th, 2004
The Bourne Supremacy POSTED AT 11:05 AM Anyway, our 8 people in 2 cars suddenly grew to 15 people in 3 cars. And I drove to KLCC... muahahahahahahahahahahaha Let's see... there was... Calvin, Kelvin, Mei Chien, Dorcus, me, Rowen, Sui Li, Jennifer, Ji Aun, Belinda, Jacob, Xavier, Kia Su, Manfred and David. And Jimmy came on his own from PJ. Anyway, the show was kind of cool... hehe...fun. A bit... 'outa' (as my cuzzie says) cos that Bourne guy was shot in the chest and he didn't die. Must've missed all the vital organs. How lucky. Mamaked after that at BRJ. Have no idea why I'm up this early when I have no class today... why can't I sleep in?  Oh wait... I have replacement at 5 - 7. Ish.
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October 9th, 2004
Psalms 42:4 - 5 POSTED AT 11:24 AM These are the things I go over and over, emptying out the pockets of my life. I was always at the head of the worshiping crowd, right out in front, Leading them all, eager to arrive and worship, Shouting praises, singing thanksgiving-- celebrating, all of us, God's feast! Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God-- soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God. BBE Let my soul be overflowing with grief when these things come back to my mind, how I went in company to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with the song of those who were keeping the feast. Why are you crushed down, O my soul? and why are you troubled in me? put your hope in God; for I will again give him praise who is my help and my God. CEV Sorrow floods my heart, when I remember leading the worshipers to your house. I can still hear them shout their joyful praises. Why am I discouraged? Why am I restless? I trust you! And I will praise you again because you help me, ESV These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation The Message translation seems to be the most apt at the moment. It's that time of the month again. |
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October 9th, 2004
d o w n POSTED AT 02:36 PM I'm not lonely when I am alone. I am lonely when I am with them. The more she tries, the more I get irritated. She tries, I know, she tries to understand, and I'm the one who's refusing her. But the more she tries to understand, the more I feel like she's patronising me. It's okay if you don't want to go with us to watch MI at Vincent's. You can go with the CF people you know. She asked so many times. I said, "whateverla," - I mean, what's the big deal whether we watch a TV programme at the cell house or at Bethel? But everything is a big deal. To her. The more she asked, the more I just wanted to stay in the room, alone, and get away from them all. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. It would make her even more concerned, and make me want to yell at her even more. I feel tension in the room because the closer they seem to get, the farther I seem to be from both of them. I forced myself to go - to regain some sense of normalcy. What's wrong with me? The only conclusion I can find at the moment is that it's that time of the month is coming again when my hormones go crazy and I plummet. It always happens. It's nothing new. But it seems harder to get through this time. I want to hate her, but I can't. She's my friend. She's my coursemate. She's so darn close to the roommate I can't seem to find anything to talk to about anymore. I can't keep on trying to hate her every month. I wanted to talk about it to someone. To talk. Not to write. Not on the phone. To just talk. I can't talk about it to them. I can't tell them, I don't like you because you're too nice. You're too concerned that I can't stand you. I don't even know why I feel this way. I want to talk to someone I can see, I can touch, and who can tell me not to cry but who'll hug me anyway when I do. I'm not close enough to anyone in the CF to tell them. Besides, those that I feel more comfortable talking to there are guys and I doubt they'll understand. Why am I not close to the girls? They tend to talk in Chinese. The two cell people I can tell - one's too close to her, the other I just don't know how to start. I've opened my email to write, but I don't know what to say. Maybe I'll just catch up with her later today or tomorrow. It's my fault, this strangeness, and I don't know why or what to do. Don't push the t e a r b u t t o n But it's too late. Listening to: ronnie freeman |
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October 10th, 2004
re-tilted POSTED AT 09:20 PM And guess what happened? The van broke down. So at first, thinking that it would just be a while, I went down to sit at the bench by my block. It was a really nice cool morning, and there were birds singing, and I read my Bible there and prayed... and she walked by. Later when it was confirmed the van wasn't coming, I just went up to her room. We kind of talked, and suddenly everything was okay. I don't know why I was so mad at her. Maybe I just had some grudge against her. Or maybe it's because things aren't really going that swell with my roommie makes me a little angry at her because the two of them are so close. I don't know. But anyway, things are looking up. Fay, you still owe me a date  Ben says I have to learn to be extroverted. I don't know la. I just never have anything to say. |
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October 12th, 2004
my beautiful name POSTED AT 09:00 AM Oh yes, I know that the name Anna is in the Bible... but my meaning-of-my-name verse.Ephesians 2:8: For by grace you are saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God. In one verse, I get both meanings of my name! Hehe... Anna: grace (Hebrew); gift (Elvish). Well... Elvish isn't really a language but... Coolness eh? And what a wonderful reminder - it's by grace that I'm saved... and grace is a gift of God. Not just grace, but faith too is a gift from God. So the same grace God has given to me, I need to extend to those around me. Maybe I'm called 'grace' because in a way it's so hard for me to be grace-ful. It's so easy to be judgemental sometimes, and to think that I've got it right where others have it wrong. I tend to be hard on others for their failures and even harder on myself for mine. But hey, we live in an age of grace! We live in the New Covenant, where we've been washed and purified by the blood of Jesus, and we've been extended the grace to come before Him pure and holy. And grace is a gift freely given - we don't have to do anything to earn it. That's something, isn't it? In God's scheme of things, names aren't just plain names. Often, there's a reason for your name. God changed Abram's name to Abraham - father of many nations (or something like that). He changed Jacob (deceiver?) to Israel. Have you delved into the meaning of your name? |
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October 12th, 2004
Worship: wholisticly POSTED AT 11:00 AM 12 October 2004 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Romans 12:1 (MSG) Yeah, the Message version does put it kind of clearly. Take your everyday life! Everything you do! Take all that you are and that… now that is worship! Other translations put that last sentence as “your reasonable service,” “your intelligent, sacred service,” “your spiritual service,” “the worship it is right for you to give Him,” “sensible way to serve God,” “your spiritual worship,” and “true worship.” You know, it’s been repeated SO many times that “worship is a lifestyle” but sometimes it just doesn’t make sense. Yeah, it’s a lifestyle. A lifestyle of what? Worship is a lifestyle of offering your life to God as a living sacrifice. It’s a lifestyle of understanding that if we want to serve God and be pleasing to Him we have to be obedient to what He’s trying to tell us. And it’s scary, because most of the time, when you think about it, you just don’t know what to do. And you’re just not capable of revamping your whole life in one day. A lifetime of habit takes a lifetime to change. I read that somewhere. In a book. We (I) tend to think in terms of overalls sometimes. We start thinking and we go like, “hmm… have to change this and this and this and this and that and…” it goes on and on - all the stuff that we don’t like about ourselves and all the stuff that we think (sometimes not just think, but know) are no good – and we get overwhelmed by how “terrible, horrible, vegetable” we are and how difficult change is, and how we hate change. And then someone comes along (thanks Ben) who just says, “stop thinking, start doing something. One thing at a time.” And it’s not on your own. It’s God helping you… by the compassions of God…by the mercies of God. I think that’s the greatest thing to remember. No matter where we are in our walk – emotionally and spiritually – we’re there because God has led us there. Sure, sometimes we stray on our own and sort of ‘mess up God’s good and perfect plan’ but in the end, He’s the one who holds all our stray ends and by His grace, mercies and compassion, He takes us a step at a time along His paths. Sometimes I sit and wonder, “How much have I been missing the point?” But it doesn’t matter how much I’ve missed it. It matters that I’m coming back. |
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October 13th, 2004
crazy mamak time POSTED AT 12:10 AM Wrote some stuff this morning. *feel good about that* Yeah, had class, then had CF... and it was *sigh* games. Aish... okaylar the games. But still... games. Anyway, chatted a while with Joanne and Andrew. Went for mamak with the CF people... pure craziness! Yeah, there were 82 people (or so) at CF today (so Xavier said) and about 40 of us turned up at TBR for mamak... we sat in one straight line... I think 11 tables! And actually, at another stall, there were SOME MORE CFers... but I think they wanted their "private time" with Malaysia's number 4. Muahahhahaha... Whutever. But anyways... it was fun. Chatted with Solomon and Ji Aun and two guys I forgot their names... and Wai Yi and David and Tze Jian... and May a little... she was talking to the people on the other side more. Oh yeah. Tonight we were actually supposed to go to Nick's studio to record for DBD soundtrack, but we didn't have transport so we said we couldn't. What a waste. Sheila (the choir director) was like... "wish you three could come because you're stronger than most of the choir people." Yeah... feel so complimented I borrowed another 3 books from the libe. I think I'm trying to drown myself in books these first few weeks before assignments come!! And planning to go to the National Libe... which is somewhere near here either this Friday or next. Hm. Oh yeah. Happy Belated Birthday, Sharon and Yong Kuang Raymond if you come here... you owe me 3 switchfoots(feet?)! There's this notice on the board downstairs adverting a car for RM1500. I'm not sure if I can believe that. |
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October 14th, 2004
writing distractedly POSTED AT 05:27 PM Writing is... important. But do I have anything important to say? Not really at the moment. I don't know. We had practice for DBD yesterday, and Mee Gee was just saying that we really lack focus. I agree. I find myself an extremely distracted. Not just during practices, but all the time. I suppose that's why I chat with 6 people at a time online. While listening to music. While blogging. And reading stuff. I realised even during SOP I was pretty distracted. When they focus in, I can see my eyes wandering. I'm chatting to Ong Mei Ling at the moment. At one moment in time, I was contemplating staying with her at Alpha in one of the Christian houses (apartments) but the apartment ain't that near to the college, and they had 3 girls in a room. And we were able to get the hostel. She's from Phases. And the Youth Alive Forums. And it was her and her team that totally killed us in debate last year!! Argh. It's her!! Heh. |
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October 14th, 2004
open mouth, stick in foot POSTED AT 07:12 PM You're crazy about the CF and about the CF people. But you don't join them for their E&F thingy at Yam Yam Park. Never mind the fact that you haven't exactly found the place yet (though you have directions) - but have you even tried? You say you care. You say you want to. But you know that inside, you're scared and running. You know that if you had a choice, you'd really rather not, because you're scared of losing face. You're scared of fouling up. You're scared of talking to strangers. What about God's love? What about all the good things He's done for you? What about all the courage you have to stick your stupid face into dumb debates online? Is your courage only when they're faceless? When they're nothing but a screen name and they can't touch you? Is your courage worthless? How many times do you need this message shoved into your face? How many times do you need to be told that you're called to GO into the nations... to your friends... to the people you meet everyday and tell them the plain simple fact that Jesus loves them and has paid the price for their sins? Talk is easy, but you're coming across as a shallow hypocrite. You talk the talk. You know your stuff. But you're not walking it. You've got the headstart. But you're not using it. You've had all the opportunities, but you missed it. You missed the point. So when was it you said you were going to start? Reading: QB VII [Leon Uris] Feeling: frus and hungry |
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October 15th, 2004
stupiakted computer POSTED AT 12:28 PM Firefox doesn't open gmail. It just times out. IE used to open gmail. Now it asks me to download some hist.html file or something like that, and it STILL doesn't open gmail. (That happened to my lycos when I first moved here - that's when I started using mozilla, then firefox) STUPID COMPUTER! Is it the browser? Or is it the stupid firewalled LAN here? Grr. Feeling: *frus* very frus |
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October 16th, 2004
spendthrift! POSTED AT 01:39 PM We went to KLCC (Ivan Cheong, me, Wai Yi and Joshua Tay) and had lunch at A&W (my first time! Whoohoo!) and then we went to Canaanland... where I bought my BEBO NORMAN - myself when i am real. Was wondering whether to get that or Big Blue Sky or the other one... but the guy said that this one was the newest... so okay lar. Cacated. I was supposed to wait until I got the rm10 vouchers for memorising verses. Oh well... see if I can manage two by December... then I'll get meself another Bebo! *grinz* unless something more exciting comes along. Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Yeah. And we watched Ladder 49. Touching. Finally was able to upload stuff to my fictionpress AND get into gmail... this is really nuts... oh well. Reading: the bear and the dragon - tom clancy Listening to: under the sun - bebo norman |
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October 17th, 2004
people, people and more people POSTED AT 09:56 PM Yesterday, May was installed as a member of SIB. I was thinking of it too... but somehow, I don't know if I can commit. I just don't know. When people talk about church, I still identify with FGAC Penang. I'm still wondering if I should stay in SIB. I mean I like it. But it's tiring. Having to arrange for transport every week, or taking the LRT+bus or a taxi. We had practice again yesterday, and I was just thinking I so like Jaydon's voice!! Jaydon is one of the leads in DBD. And he has nice brown hair... Doesn't look dyed, but I'm not an expert on that. [KK, it's long ]Rowen remembered that I wanted to borrow Disagree. Heh. today's people We celebrated SIB KL's 10th anniversary at the PJ Civic Centre today. Met up with Boon Tsien and Sarah Sim - and actually had time to sit and talk. Usually, it's just a hi-bye thing because we go to different services. Well, we were having a run through before the actual service, and we were on stage because we were giving a 1 song preview for DBD, and they were adjusting mikes and stuff, and I turned and saw... He looked familiar, but my brains took a while to register, and even then I was like aiyer... not sure lar, afterwards wrong person... and then he went away. When we got backstage again, I walked towards where I saw him go... and he was like, "eh?" It was BRYAN!! BRYAN CHRISTOPHER TAN! Ahahahhahahaha.... from the back, he looks like a skinny uncle Melvin. Yeah, anyway, managed to chat a bit... got his hp number. Maybe will meet up. Wei Li's a superb violinist. schizo people Kéa suddenly decided to appear at my lecture on Thursday. It bugged me. I was supposed to be listening and he just shimmered into being in my brain and made my fingers itchy. I'd almost forgotten him, having covered him with Denise and gang, Anu, Enn-Driu and Djo, Sherene, Jason, Tim, Ben and Tina. And he wasn't even the main guy at all. There was Jordan and Mia. But somehow, Kéa just appeared, and presented me with a whole new view of his story. His face had changed, and strangely enough, it wasn't what I'd thought it would look like. Spent yesterday morning working on him. He has more depth than Jordan. And he's not as rash. I like him. Yes, I talk to people in my brain. Don't you? Reading: tom clancy Listening to: disagree |
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October 18th, 2004
worship again POSTED AT 12:09 PM Talked a little about worship and stuff. I guess it feels good to know that the fireBRANDS are also searching for something REAL. Something more than hype. One song that's been replaying in my brain is Seeing You from Matt Redman's latest album, Facedown. Seeing You No one can sing of things they have not seen, and I guess maybe sometimes some of the sort of 'emptiness' I feel in worship is that I haven't really seen God, and so some of the songs just end up not really meaning anything. searching for something more something deeper something better than this searching for reality in a world full of lies Wei-Ling asked me why I write? Why I send out this stuff? How can I bare my heart? I ask myself sometimes too - am I being too honest? Too strongly opinionated? There was this line I jotted down from one of the books I read (I think it was Famous Last Words; Timothy Findley) and it goes like this: I am thinking of how it can be that mere human beings can be so afraid of the written word they will kill to be rid of it. I don't know. It's just something I must do - writing, I mean. And then what's the point of writing if no one reads? Maybe what keeps me going is when someone reads what I say and goes, "yeah, that's true. I'm going through that too." |
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October 20th, 2004
don't you love electricity? POSTED AT 11:05 AM So had a morning of doing nothing - mainly reading. My clothes from Monday's wash was still wet because it rained in the evening. Wondered if I should go to class, but went anyway. Power was still not back, and when there's no electricity in the hostel, there's never any in the college. So yah. Went to a black, hot and stuffy lecture hall, and the lecturer just said that they've given us groupings for assignments and said that class was cancelled. Yay, but ish. Walked to college and sweat for nothing. So we walked back, and I went to Jusco with Doreen and Joanne. Jusco has aircon. Stayed there till about 4, and when we got back - yay! electricity!Haha... but internet was whacky. So, ish. Carrefour at night, and then ang tau th'ng in May's room. Finally popped by at Sue May's and had a long chat. Hm. Can't remember if I met Sue May during NSCF or PhYW camp. Ish.. bad memory... Haha.. THERE ARE TOO MANY MAY'S IN TARC. I am NEVER going to ever name any girl of mind May/Mei! Isshhh There's Gan Tse May, See Sue May, Ong Mei Ling, Joanne Lee Mei Ling, May May and Siew Mei Ling. And 5 of these Mays live in the hostel alone! I'm so glad I'm not a May/Mei. Haha... though I was one for like... a few hours in TARC Pg... Hahaha... Oohh.. another May... my cuzzie Yong May! Talking about cousins... had lunch with Pei Loon on Monday. Coolness. Recording at Nick's tomorrow night and then short PD trip for the weekend with the cell. |
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October 25th, 2004
I'm BACK!!! POSTED AT 12:09 PM Last blog happened to be on the 20th. Wednesday. Hm. Oh yeah... Thursday had morning and afternoon classes, and then we went to Nick's studio to do recording for DBD! Kind of cool... His studio's a nice place... Yeah. Then Friday I went all the way to PUDU... to buy bus tix to Singapore!! Francis, see you in about... 3 weeks!! ahahhaha... Then we went to Port Dickson. Left about 6 or 7 something... and reached around 10 because we got lost. Don't ask me how. Heh. Lindy's car window got spoilt... silly M'sian cars (was a Gen 2)... so we also had to stop and see about getting it patched. Erm. Yeah. So PD... barbecue at 10 pm, followed by Guesstures and Boggle... for once... I have the chance of winning at Boggle!! Muahahahahaha... but I think that was only because Lindy didn't play. Anyway, next morning was breakfast and beach then we had lunch in Seremban. Reached back around 4 plus... took a nap and went to church for DBD practice. Yesterday was church and DBD practice... Sigh... so many practices... but expected lar. Then we had CF camp evaluation at night, a month late, but oh well. DBD is on the 10th and 11th of December... anyone around wanna come? Oh yeah... anyone remember the book review thingy? I won consolation! Haha... Yay... MPH voucher... The winner was Tze Jian... CF guy... K. Can't think dy. Have to go out... meet Ben and debate team! Listening to: disagree |
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October 26th, 2004
birthdays and drama POSTED AT 11:20 AM And happy birthday to KK today!! Yesterday, after practice, they had a surprise birthday party for Annabel. She's twelve. Her mom was so sweet... she brought a cake shaped like a book which read "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and she bought in Shakeys pizza for everyone! In some ways, Annabel reminds me of me. Annabel, loosely translated (by me) means beautiful grace. Besides the similarity in name, she's a young kid, skinny with specs, a little shy, interested in acting. And she's serious about acting. Sometimes it just irritates me that some people are just not serious enough about acting. Not serious enough about DBD. They go there, they laugh and joke around even when we're supposed to be practicing. And they're all over the place. When we're doing one scene, they're off doing something else (with the lame excuse "we must practice that one lar.. it's so bad"). Hello? Focus? Mee Gee's been drilling that into us... discipline, focus. discipline, focus Jayne watched SOP and she said it's not bad... ahhah... really made my day. I mean, she's professional. Oh whatever. Maybe I'm taking drama too seriously. Listening to: fly [her reverie] |
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October 26th, 2004
some new pics POSTED AT 04:20 PM Enjoy! :D On another matter, there are too many blogs called "verbal diarrhoea" or something like that. Help me come up with a new title?
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October 27th, 2004
coloured confusions... POSTED AT 12:02 PM
Hmm... whatever. I've been asked if I want to join the CF committee for next year as Secretary. I would love to, really. But I don't know if I can. I mean like secretary? I hate being secretary... but it's for the CF... ish... And besides, I won't be around during the 3rd sem. Mum says, "you so free meh?" I want to. I want to. I want to. I've wanted to for a long time. But I just don't know if I can. I just don't know if I can commit. I won't be around for 3 months. In a way, I am already committed. I was early for CF yesterday... and sometimes I'm not even early for class! Shows something, right? I've been telling people, "so if you want to make a difference in the CF, if you think there's much room for improvement... then join the CF. Do something about it." Would it be hypocritical then, if I declined joining the committee?? I've been talking CF with Mei Ling (from the YA forums) and there are ideas of what we can do... maybe things that may make the CF more effective. My view of CF has been broadened so much just by talking to her (more like writing). Would it be hypocritical then, to just continue being another spectator?? Feeling: confused |
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October 28th, 2004
decisions POSTED AT 05:56 PM I hate making decisions. I hate making decisions that I may regret later on. I thought I'd decided yesterday, but just when I thought so I was confused all over again. I'd pretty much made up my mind, and I asked for a confirmation, and it seems as if I've been making up my mind the wrong way. For now, I've decided it's a yes. If this stays with me till tomorrow, I'll just go ahead with it. If I wasn't to be in the committee, I wouldn't have been asked in the first place, right? It doesn't make sense that God would seemingly grant my desires and then ask me to decline. Would it? As Jimmy said last night (which really threw the wrench into my thought processes): but b4 i come 2 kl i actually hv decided in my heart to serve in cf.... so even when they ask me.... ahaha still got struggle.... but trust me my fren God is good... He will honor u if u honor Him ... cos i believe d present exco has pray bout it especially 4 u in tis post... ur 100% support doesnt really need to physically there 1....I was going to say no because I can't be there fully... and in my books that's not 100% commitment... and I don't like it. But Xavier said this morning, "it's your last chance in the CF. Don't regret." I don't want to regret. Argh. Must life be this difficult? Ish. Finally got pics from the CF camp... will be uploading when my net decides to cooperate with me.
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October 29th, 2004
sigh POSTED AT 12:44 PM And then maybe I'll go pop by at MPH Alpha Angle to scope for books to buy with my yummy RM50 voucher. Books are SO yummy. Haha... Then photoshoot tonight for DBD and practice again.Tomorrow... I need to get down to work. Sigh. Uploaded some stuff in fictionpress anyway, so go check it out. And Josh, are you prophetic? |
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October 29th, 2004
Christian Fellowship POSTED AT 05:35 PM What is the CF all about anyway? There was this brief discussion about the meaning of fellowship last night, but I was talking to someone else and missed half the conversation - which left me somewhat blur. But what is the CF meant to do? It's been described to me as a para-church organisation, interdenominational. I've been describing it as a homechurch of sorts for Christians away from home. It's a place where as students, you learn from each other. You get opportunities to serve in a way that you probably may not in your own church until you are much older. You learn new skills, and you discover your talents. But somehow, I've realised that sometimes the CF tends to be very church-y. You go for a weekly meeting. You have CGs sometimes. I don't know what I'm expecting. I grew up with CF being a weekly meeting in school that usually lacked leaders, and missed out on great opportunities. I grew up with a youth group that seemingly emphasised on doing programmes and doing them well. And now suddenly, after 7 years of doing CF as a meeting-oriented thing, I'm faced with this view of CF as a strongly evangelical, largely people-based, going-out kind of thing. Yes, we talked about CF being evangelical, but it was a more meeting-based kind of thing - have more fun activities! Invite your friends! But no, it isn't a "call them to come thing" - it's a "go to them". I don't know. I'm still messed up in my thinking. Sometimes, clarity is hard to find. |
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October 30th, 2004
happy birthday, Fay! POSTED AT 10:42 AM Taggie's down. Still attempting to upload photos. I did update my tripod site yesterday, but not much. Anyway, still check it out if you want to. WORDS! Feeling slightly... erm... the only word that comes to mind is *pissed* (yeesh, I do need to expand my vocab) at something someone said. Ask me, maybe I'll tell you. Wait... ask me, and if I trust you enough, I'd even rant at you. Oh yes, every one (now) knows anna can rant real hard. But I need to filter who I rant to from now on... Ish. Temper, temper. Ergh. Listed 10 things I have to do, preferably by Monday. (Well, except maybe finishing library books... date due still a while off). Here goes: 1. do camp evaluation minutes (and pass all minutes to Rowen) 2. finish reading library books 3. memorise verses! 4. call KPMG 5. Get Trixie's birthday present 6. Audit tutorials 7. Financial Reporting tutorials 8. do something with the UTAR c'mas tix 9. call Unc Steven - time to change car filter thingy again 10. Lend Rowen rockapella. Oh yes, and the long postponed "makan meet-ups" with Bryan and Fay Cheng. Have DBD practice tonight and tomorrow night again and will be going for service today. Yay... don't need to wake up early tomorrow! Haha... Really thanking God for Uncle Chin Keang and Aunty Joey (weird, but we don't call them uncle and aunty to their face cos they didn't intro themselves to us that way - but still, I somehow think of them as uncle and aunty because they have little kids!) for fetching us to and fro from practice. Interesting info - Unc CK was from Penang, Joey from Setapak... and they met in TARC while studying! Now, they're living at Danau Kota (where we go and eat sometimes). Last night, they asked if we know anyone who wants to do some data entry thing. I'm like cool, why not? Data entry is easy (and fast), I'm still fairly free, and my utilisation of time can be tweaked. And tweaking it to include doing some work will also help me to tweak it to include more studying. Bleah. Okay, one more thing to add on 'to-do list' - come out with a timetable that includes classes, time to do tutorials and time to study. Feeling: irate |
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October 31st, 2004
no church on a sunday morning? POSTED AT 01:16 PM Went for service yesterday so got to sleep in until 10 plus today, and wake up to type evaluation minutes one week after the actual meeting. *needs to stop procrastinating* I figure I like Ray's style of writing. It probably won't work for a full length novel, but for blog entries, it's interesting. Not to mention that he goes through the weirdest experiences (or he just makes them sound interesting by the way he writes)! I cashed in my RM50 MPH voucher yesterday for Plato - republic, Gaston Leroux - The Phantom of the Opera and my very own Wordsworth Thesaurus. My first thesaurus! I can't believe it! THis is the first time I've ever owned a thesaurus! Ahahahaha... By the way, I've never owned a dictionary either... No book shopping for me until next year. Definitely NO book shopping... I'm swimming in unread books and it's bugging me! Hehe... *imagines mom going nuts* I hereby solemnly swear not to read all my books at one go. Ahaha... Thinking of lunch, but Wai Yi just got up 15 minutes ago and I think I'll have to go eat on my own. Josh is making me think of Christmas! I wanna go caroling... I wanna go caroling... I wanna go caroling... Hmm... you think I can persuade the CF here to go caroling in TBR during Christmas? Hehe... Have some hamsters.... (o.0)(0.0)(o.o)(0.o)(o.0)(0.o) Ish. Me thinks... me should go eat. Me thinks... me should stop waiting... If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whome he hath not seen? *slap slap* but it's sometimes easier to love an 'idea' than a real someone who irritates the heck out of you, you know? |
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