Entries for December, 2004
December 1st, 2004
overall update. I'm busy. Sigh. POSTED AT 06:15 PM Went to Midvalley with Yuin-Y. Uncle Why Hoong paid for lunch at Chili's. Thanks! It was super good and super filling... yummmiiiieeee... Wandered around, went to MPH, then off to practice in SIB. Sunday, 28 Nov Church and practice. Super tired out. Monday, 29 Nov Christmas sketch talk with Jacob (CF) over lunch, assignment discussion, classes and dinner with Yong May and Kin Yan! Had brief tour of Taman Melawati so that I'll be able (hopefully) to start sourcing for nicer food in the future. Haha... did some work on assignments and all that... and then went for mamak with cell people - Wai Yi, Trixie, Fay Cheng, Vincent and Joshua Tay. Tuesday, 20 Nov Class, assignment, class, trip to the Police Station in Sentul to do application for CF having a speaker for our next meeting. Listen to inspector bla-ing. Night practice at Sunway Convention Centre. THE PLACE IS BIG. Today Assignment, class, and practice later. As you can see, I'm super duper busy. I haven't been able to even check my mail or update this blog with any sort of frequency. It's all audit assignment and practices. Sigh. I can't go for Planet Shakers. Sigh. Family leaving tomorrow for Australia. Sigh. Future 5 Dec - SIB fundraising dinner cum concert at Sunway Convention Centre 6 Dec - date due for Audit assignment that has been eating all my free time and slowly driving me nuts. Oh well, it's almost over. 7 Dec - 11 Dec - will be almost always at PJ Civic Centre for set up / sound check / final rehearsals and performances of Drunk Before Dawn. Will breathe sigh of relief and overdose on sleep when the 11th's over. 20 Dec - Financial Reporting assignment due. Have not even studied the question yet. Help. 24 Dec - Deb's birthday. 25 Dec - Christmas! 13 Jan - Exam week starts. As you can see... not much of a hol for me. Please visit me in KL. *grinz* Assuming I'm free enough too meet you. Haha... Listening to: it came upon a midnight clear Feeling: busy talk to me!
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December 1st, 2004
while i'm still here POSTED AT 07:09 PM met Raymond today at the study room. Apparently he was having his discussion or something at the table behind mine and I didn't even realise until I thought I heard someone say my name. Then I turned and was like "eh... Raymond..." Funny thing was, before that I'd turned around to look at them for some unknown reason, maybe because they seemed to be discussing some assignment too.. K. Have to rush off for practice. Bye. Had sad old maggi for dinner today. Which is okay really, because I haven't had maggi in ages. |
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December 2nd, 2004
steal some free time. I dun wanna do assignments yet POSTED AT 06:11 PM Last night I talked with Andy about the CF. I dunno why, but I like talking about CF. I love the CF. Yet at the same time, I'm dissatisfied with it. It still needs to be something more than just a meeting, and I'm glad that I find a lot of people think that way too. But on the other hand (I'm assuming I have something like 3) I'm afraid of change, because it will mean I will have to change too. And it means that as a secretary, I have more work. Is it worth the sacrifice? The sacrifice of not only my time, but my pride? Yes, I guess. Things still muddling in my brain about the CF - 1] a webbie! 2] a directory to churches around the area and people to contact... especially churches which provide transport / churches with members in the college & CF 3] joint camp between TARC branches!! (dream on, girl!) 4] community service... especially help during the orientation week.. when people are new. CF could work with the SWC. Home Alone 5 As of today, I am home alone. Technically. Mummy, daddy, bro n sis are in Australia and won't be back till next year! (Jan 1) Hahah.. we had our "last talk of the year" last night. BUT... I have a surrogate Christmas family to keep me company this Christmas... Fay and Ivan Cheong! and the rest of the whacked out SIB cell people (unless they go home) and the CF people who aren't going back, eg. Ji Aun and I think Calvin. Last I heard, Bethel's going to have a Christmas Eve party. Then Fay, Ivan and I (and others? dunno) are planning to go somewhere out of Setapak for Christmas dinner. *grinz* Ooo and RM20 voucher for Pizza Hut from me mummy!! Ahhh... *dreams of days after dec 20* Listening to: Tim Davies |
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December 3rd, 2004
slumped POSTED AT 11:10 AM Probably the catalyst was going for dinner alone, which I have done before, and usually don't mind. But dinnering alone usually makes me rather thoughtful, and I was thinking about how suddenly eventhough I'm not staying at home, and though I do get bugged when my parents call in the middle of something, it's like a support has been cut off now that I can't call them at will. Ate though I wasn't hungry - eating sometimes is a habit with me. I need lunch and dinner and something to munch for breakfast whether I'm actually hungry or not. Finally bought a new nailclipper (I finally have short nails!! whee!!) and was back for CG by 8pm. Well, I was maybe a few minutes late. CG was a Christmas card making night. We cut green triangles and brown squares to make Christmas tree card / bookmarks for hostel residents. Though I missed a chance to go for the Planet Shakers concert, it's okay. CG was cool. Hahah... Bernard joined us for mamak. I was hungry at mamak. For once, Trixie couldn't finish her food. But it was sheer nonsense at mamak with telur pattaya and Rowen special. of assignments Maybe I'm just not a team player. Out of my 6 group members I can work with only Doreen and Yu Yuan. Two of them are just darned quiet (that chinese-ed syndrome that always appears around me) and the other one just BUGS me by asking the same few questions over and over and over. Maybe I put too much hopes on her support. She's supposed to be a 100% scholarship holder, which means she's supposed to be sufficiently smart enough, right? No. Sometimes I have to go over some point over and over and over and over. And when I ask a question "do you think..." we get into this convoluted discussion which ends up with her asking me back the same question. So not going anywhere. Listening to: FM static |
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December 3rd, 2004
YES! POSTED AT 05:25 PM Happiness... muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha dooodle deee dums! grins at everyone. =nonsense post ended= Mummyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you were here!! |
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December 4th, 2004
dream... POSTED AT 10:23 AM And then somehow it came to this scenario with this weird guy... no idea who... and we were in this building, and James Chew was playing squash on the side of the wall. And then the weird guy asks me to marry him and I'm like okay (you know, it was like me, yet not me that kind of thing...). So another girl called Susan, I think, or something like that, and I were going to marry this same guy on the same day. And during the preparation of the chinese wedding and stuff, the I just decide to walk off because I want a proper church wedding with white gown and stuff and a guy that I really love. Somehow I end up in the immigration, and take a plane to Australia, and then I get into this van where this police kind of guy is taking a whole family back to their place.. with lots of kids.. and he's lecturing them. Then we had lunch there, and it starts raining. Then I and the police guy get back into the van... and he's asking me about where to drop me off... I tell him to stop me at the LRT or something like that, I go inside, and see immigration again... and think that I have no money to go home... then I woke up. Hahaha... confusing dream! But besides that, I had a good sleep anyway. 
Listening to: jars of clay - lesser things |
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December 4th, 2004
the day's not over... POSTED AT 05:40 PM Random Acts of Kindness It was good to catch up with Josh again, if only for about less than an hour. I was telling him how we're doing the Christmas card thing in our hostel, and how the idea came from his balloon run. Seems that they nearly gave up with their Let Love Grow project thingy! The Christians need to make their presence known in the college. Make God visible. Somehow, it's always uplifting to talk with Josh. Maybe it's a familiar face, a familiar voice, a reminder of home. A reminder of good friends, of good times; and that there are some people that I'll always be okay with, and not have to experience this love-hate-irritation cycle that seems to be turning into a vicious circle. Meanness Apparently I'll be skipping church this week. Tomorrow, we'll be in Sunway the whole day to prepare for the night's concert and to sound check and tech run and everything. So if I wanted to go to church, I should have gone this afternoon. Evidently, I haven't because I'm sitting here typing, when the service is about to start. I came back from KLCC at about 3.40pm, in time to get ready to go to church, but I went to Mei Ling's room on purpose and talked until nearly 5pm. Why, you may ask? Maybe because I don't feel like it. Maybe because I don't feel like spending the day with them again when I will have to tomorrow. Like I said, it's an irritating cycle, but it's there. I don't like them enough to want to spend that much time with them, but I have to. And it bugs me. And people assume that we're like super great friends or something. I don't want to be associated with them! There I go again, with my kiddish rant. I probably sound like a spoilt brat, but there you have it. I FEEL LIKE A BRAT RIGHT NOW. And it brings that question again about religiosity. Is God about going to church? I mean yeah, you need to be connected to a church. But I used to be really irritated when people skip church, like church is all there is. It isn't. Do you need to be at church every week to be religious? To be close to God? Surely not. But sometimes I think that way. And 'skipping' church this week brings that question out again. What's the difference between being religious and being a genuine Christian? Right now, I don't feel religious. And I definitely don't feel much like a good or genuine Christian. And how do you explain all of this to a non-Christian neighbour? Things are changing, in me and around me, and I don't like it. It confuses me. It unsettles me. I hate change. But change is supposed to be good
Blogging Degree From Go-Quiz.com Listening to: switchfoot Feeling: just plain weird |
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December 4th, 2004
overdose blog of the day POSTED AT 09:54 PM I need to overdose you with posts now so that next week when I'm not around, erm... it won't seem so... uh... I dunno. Felt extra girly today and wore a skirt, and my new loop earrings from Singapore (present from mummy ) I realised they're heavy. They're meant to be guaranteed anti-allergic.Just back from Shahee-something. The place that Jo intro-ed to us in Melawati. Me thinks that shall be my away spot from now on. So shoo people, don't you ever go there!  Went there at 7 plus, took my renewal theology, notebook, Bible and discman along. Aahhh, but it was good. Don't know if it's a bit pricey. Spent RM8 on tomyam, teh o ais and apple juice. Sounds okay to me. Heh. Left at 9.30pm. Posted some stuff in fictionpress. Go check them out 
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December 13th, 2004
postdated POSTED AT 11:43 AM So anyway, it was a day full of rehearsals and waiting times and Boggle! Yes, played Boggle with some of the DBD people. Wai Nyan is good at it. Duh. He’s studying to be a lawyer. Obviously, he has good vocab. So the concert was superb, and so was all the food they stuffed us with. Chicken stroganoff for lunch (yum) and spaghetti for dinner (choice of bolognaise or seafood!) and then after-concert party at Monte’s, sponsored by Tabby’s mom, who owns Monte’s. Nice. |
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December 13th, 2004
postdated 2 POSTED AT 11:44 AM On practices, they said it was good yesterday, but personally, I wasn’t at my best. I was distracted and I didn’t feel it. Today has to be better. Our show starts tonight. And it’s going to be good… YEAH. =] |
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December 13th, 2004
postdated 3 POSTED AT 11:44 AM Finally we came to a school, and glancing at the sign board, it read… Chong Hwa Gombak! After that, we turned out into a sort of main road that it seemed a little familiar. Turned out to be the Gombak way that Chin Kiang uses when he fetches us to church. Thank God for signboards that mention Jalan Genting Klang! Hehe… |
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December 13th, 2004
Scattered... POSTED AT 11:47 AM Drunk before Dawn the Musical is over. It has been a great experience. Mee Gee asked how I felt about the whole thing, and all I could say at the moment was my usual okay. But really, I’ve gotten to know so many people. The musical itself is way so much tighter and organised and planned than what we did for Star of Persia. The acting is tight, and there’s energy. There’s a feeding off each other, and though I didn’t realise it at first, I realise it now. It’s like, even if you feel that you yourself performed well, you can feel the overall energy in the atmosphere. If it was weak, you feel weak yourself. Overall, I’d say my craft has grown. Jayne believes it too. Haha… She is “looking forward to the day when [I] can produce [my] own show.” *grins super big* The past No matter how far you run, you can never outrun your past. Today after church and lunch, we passed by a Sugar Bun somewhere in SS2. I was so excited! Heh. It’s been ages since I’ve been to a Sugar Bun. Ivan Cheong was like, “Surprised to see it here eh?” He’s from Kuching. Last night, Wai Nyan mentioned a mutual friend who had been studying in HELP for A Levels. Imagine being at a super high-ness reaching elation, a sudden gasping and a sharp plummet as old memories resurfaced. Why must the past be dug up? Wishing the past could be changed, but it’s not entirely my fault. Wai Nyan mentioned that he was very open, but since when did belief (or supposed belief) regress to mere openness? Was that our doing? I’m remembering now an old picture of two cheeky-faced boys in Kuching. Could that have been them? I don’t even remember what his parents look like… or anything except that mum said that there’s an Au Yong Mun Heng and family in SIB that we met at camp in Sarawak some years back. But he knows Charles Ling and he remembers the logging camp and the gigantic rhinoceros beetles. Muahahaha... Today Sorry, only got back my adaptor last night... at 10.30pm and I was half-asleep. (More like actually already asleep) Then had extra class this morning at 8.30am. Okay... After updating all the stuff that I've kept over the past internetless week and running off to college to find Mr Wee, and browsing through 107 mails in my lycos, 2 mails in my hotmail, 5 in my gmail and not answering anything yet, and still having I think 6 more in my yahoo, I am back. Lunch calls in a while, but I'm too hot and tired to move just yet. My thoughts are scattered everywhere over what I want to reply for some emails, which blogs I need to read after such a long hiatus, where to eat for lunch, what I have to read for my last assignment due next week and what I want to write here. I think the emails will have to wait till tonight. Blogs will have to wait too. Ish. I'm shutting down. |
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December 14th, 2004
catalysts POSTED AT 05:17 PM (anyways...) The name Wai Nyan must in some obscure language mean something along the lines of ‘challenger’. In the brief period between that conversation in DBD on Saturday to today, he’s already thrown out challenges to me, directly and indirectly. The first, indirectly, would really to reconsider what this blog is all about. Having browsed his site (and it’s cool, really) sparks the question of so what’s the purpose of yours? And that’s just it. Blogging has become (was always?) just a habit. Sure, every few days I throw out a few questions I’m thinking about – not too often though, thinking isn’t that much of a habit – but to quote Switchfoot, “there’s gotta be something more than what we’re living for, I’m crying out to you.” I’ve always liked (and wanted) to think of myself as someone capable of deep thoughts. More often, I’m just bugged by the shallowness of thinking that I see in myself. But isn’t that a start anyway? What I’ve realized though, as I think I’ve said before, is that when I start writing things down, I start thinking more clearly. Ill-defined feelings and frustrations become clearer but which still leads to the next question – what then are you going to do about it? Doing almost always stops with the next piece I write. Not good. His random thoughts strike me rather like what I used to do for by the fireplace. Used to. Many things have been forgotten and left aside lately. Not good. Somehow, the blog seems too open to just do all my bla-ing. Whilst I admire some blogger’s openness with their experiences and spiritual journeys, it seems rather hard for me to do the same. Blame it on my inherent shyness, introvertedness and face. All in all, a reading of my fictionpress might prove to be a better mirror of my walk than anything I say in my blog. I would suppose then that my blog is a journal of events, which is perfectly fine. But you know, sometimes you want it to be something more than just… that. Coming to the second, it’s really a challenge to make amends with your past. Like I said, you can’t outrun your past. Don’t you think it would be better to air it out then? (To clean out skeletons, of course.) Uncle Frank Maclean said something to that effect before too. Something about knowing when to revisit the past to rechart the future. And knowing when to let go of the past to avoid it blocking your future. Thinking spells never last. I wrote that early in the morning during my AIS class (haha... when you give me a computer, expect some writing) in the midst of twiddling with my assignment on Excel. Now that I'm back in my room, thoughts are not flowing. But I suppose some people were just born to be those catalysts that spark off things in others... and I just happen to be one of those that needs more sparks to start moving.
Feeling: pensive |
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December 15th, 2004
Christmas! POSTED AT 11:33 AM And this strange question popped up out of nowhere: What would Christmas be without Santa and Christmas trees? It would still be Christmas because of Him An interesting site to look at concerning Christmas: Correcting Popular Misconceptions about Jesus Christ's Birth Currently in a sad state of despair at what I've seen of our CF's play (more like short skit) and am wondering if our standards have been set too high by DBD? To quote Aunty Rita, "All I'm seeing are talking heads!" Well, okay, it's not that bad, but yeah. The talking heads bug me sometimes. Oh well, but the skit isn't everything, is it? I had an inspiration yesterday. Christmas Carnival 2005, spanning the whole month of December. (Can the CF handle it? Muahahahahahahaha...) What better time to show a Christian presence in the college during the month of Peace, Love, Hope and Goodwill to men? (Not meaning that we don't during other months of the year.) Thinking along those lines, I was thinking of a charity bazaar/fundraising thingy for needy students? Some homes around the area? (Have no idea what's in Setapak even after 6 months) The SWC would have to be involved - they'd have the right contacts and all that. Strangely, remembrance of that purple adverts on the LRT of the Family First Campaign by the Ministry of Women and Community Development or something or other came to mind. Hm. If we concentrate on Love there could be workshops/talks on relationships & family - promoting the idea of a TARC Campus Family that's there to support you. Campus Friends? Some guy asked if there'd be a live band at this year's Christmas... So live bands are a good idea - Altered Frequency, Her Reverie, Juwita, Unabashed? Haha... Not like I know many bands. Events should be both in English and Mandarin - seeing that we're a majority-Chinese-Ed college anyway. Translations or separate events? Ooh and here's my favourite (though I don't know how it's going to work out): Where's The Baby? game! Could be a gameshow or something or more a quizzy like thing (details still blurred) but it would be a walkthrough maze documenting the Gospel - and you have to solve some riddle or other to get a prize. Or maybe a treasure hunt kind of thing. During the month, there'd be buskers around the college - guitars, acapella singing, sleight of hand (ooh, Joseph is good!), dances, mime, bands? Banners, posters and postcard flyers, maybe a December calender of Christmas events for publicity by November. At the same time, we'd be able to publicise church Christmas events as part of the carnival month. Final culmination could be a Christmas/Christmas Eve concert - band, drama, dances and the Gospel. And all the promotion of selling tickets that we're having trouble with right now would be solved because all the earlier events would be indirectly promoting this - and people would come, more receptive, because of all the groundwork laid earlier on. Planning for this will probably have to be discussed with the college admin even in January! Hah. Talk about big dreams - sometimes I think I'm nuts. And after reading everything I wrote, I'm thinking so now you're into the hype scene after ranting about it? |
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December 16th, 2004
stupid comp POSTED AT 09:16 AM Every time I try to upload pictures whether here or in yahoo photos, it errors with 'document contains no data' or something like that. Anyone knows why? And how to correct it? Morning sun falls on me and part of me comp & monitor every morning. Hot nya. Is morning sun good for you? Listening to: message of the cross - delirious? |
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December 16th, 2004
paranoia POSTED AT 04:28 PM Kick me if I'm just paranoid, but I am. You don't want others to see your works of art before they're completed, do you? And stuff that's not online are not online for a reason. Compy's got a password and guest account now. On other matters, Vincent asked me to share at our cell party this Monday. Help! Heard Fallen Leaves' rendition of What Child Is This? on Hitz.fm today - well, I think that's what they said - and was pleasantly suprised at how nice they sounded. Much better than their EP.
Reading: MASB 24 - Financial Instruments Listening to: learning to need You - Justin McRoberts |
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December 17th, 2004
on thoughts POSTED AT 10:06 AM There's always a striving, at least in me, that I have to do something - anything - to prove myself and my abilities. That last part - even if it means something as tiny as "I can sing better than you"- strikes a chord because frankly, it's a frequent thought. Sometimes I wonder how many of the things I do and say are really genuine, and how much is hypocritical posturing to seem more than I really am? During performances I usually get guilty feelings of wanting the glory for myself. I'll be there, doing my thing, and I sometimes forget God. Everyone seems to be praying holy prayers of God's glory, of feeling God's presence, You are all I need... and I'm sitting with my familiar prayer of God, I said this is about You. Is it? Please make it be. Make my heart pure... Take away my pride. On other matters, it ain't working out. Mum, what do you think of Christian house next year?
Feeling: hungry |
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December 18th, 2004
quickie POSTED AT 09:44 AM I was out yesterday from about 11. Took Adeline to buy some last minute stuff for the night's Christmas Night. (Imagine, the day of the event, and 'costumes' for the drama not complete yet!!) Anyway, reached back in coll at 1 plus, to find that practice that was supposedly to have started at 12 still had not started. Oh well, they were still practicing for worship. And they were still painting the words for the backdrop. Jo said I looked pretty. Thankies, Jo! Hehe... You looked pretty too! Anyways... oh yeah, since I'm running out of time, freaky event of the night: before the thingy started, I was sitting at the back table just watching what was going on. Abu was sitting beside me until Andrew Tan came. Then I got this call from this unknown number - answer loh... I'm Joshua Ong. I know you're sitting behind beside Andrew... Eh... whut? But the houselights were off, and I couldn't see who else was talking on the phone, and anyway, the announcements and stuff were starting... so it was like, talk later lah!! So, finally met YA forumer Joshua Ong - and if you see this, cool, intro, dude. You like, freaked me out. Darn. I'm still in the hip-hop mood. |
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December 20th, 2004
silence? POSTED AT 06:39 PM a) have to finish FR assignment b) have to rush off to cell party in less than half an hour c) I lent my adaptor to Jo over the weekend d) I have an increasingly busy schedule, that won't let up til after Christmas e) after Christmas I'll have to start studying intensively for exams f) I'm just feeling a little teensy weensy bit lazy to think. Okie. So I'm off. |
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December 21st, 2004
CC (you'll know if you're in my yahoo messenger list) POSTED AT 12:43 AM When they turned off the lights and started dancing to Jingle Bell rock. And when they started mimicking DBD all over again. Maybe I still take myself too seriously. Do I? Thought of the day: You're loneliest in a crowd Question of the day: What's your definition of fun? |
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December 21st, 2004
spastic POSTED AT 03:34 PM To give you a picture, I am typing with my left hand and soaking my right hand in a pail of cold water. Why, you may ask? Having uttered that fatal comment on the way to lunch at 11am, we decided to eat at this crowded shop in TBR that goes by the name of Mei Oy. Chose some tasty morsels (which I didn't have much stomach for as it turns out) and paid, then decided to scoop some hot soup. (The pot was still on the stove, mind you.) Well, settled my plate of economic rice in my left hand and got a proper grip on the steaming bowl in my right and took a slow turn and tentative step towards nearby table when girl at table decides to move and knock right into hand with boiling soup. Apologies from her (I'm the only casualty here) and I rush to the toilet and stuff hand under tap. Get back to table and its still hurting like crazy so we get a cup of that free cold water. I eat with my left hand while wriggling fingers in cup. Later on, we bought a slab of ice from the mamak due to our inherent inability to communicate with the chinese shop keeper in Cantonese. Yeah and I lugged that slab of ice to lecture and endured two hours of pain. Walk back to college was punctuated by "mummy"s and "Ows" to the tune of "Clementine". Got some solcoseryl jelly from Doreen but it only seems to hurt worse and I can't stand in the toilet all day so... Yeah. SMS to the pharmacist in Australia gives me, "dunnola.. sorry.. haha. mom not here at the moment." Feeling: ouch |
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December 22nd, 2004
for tomorrow (today's) sake POSTED AT 12:53 AM Haha... Heard the drummer boy on radio (you know, that pa-rum-pa-pum-pum song) and one line caught my attention. I have no gift to bring... So at the traffic light, I managed to type this out in my handphone: I have no gift to bring Where that will lead to, I have no idea yet. It shall serve (for now) as an idea for another day. Good night! p/s.. fingers are feeling fine now! Except if I push too hard on my thumb |
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December 24th, 2004
It's Christmas Eve!! (Happy birthday, Deb!) POSTED AT 04:28 PM Had dinner in church on wed night - appreciation for the DBD cast/choir/orchestra/crew. Funness. And we got to watch ourselves on video. Haha... It will be out in VCD/DVD soon. There's talk of maybe doing DBD in Istana Budaya some time next year, but nothing confirmed yet.Yeah, then managed to meet up with Yuin-Y in Midvalley yesterday evening/night. Almost didn't make it back! Haha... Oh, whatever. Was fuuuuunnnn.... Called me sis today to wish her happy birthday... given out most of my gifts dy.. and will be giving out somemore tonight. Alice (cell member) is gonna cook dinner! Yayness. Hehe... Room is a mess. Better spend Sunday cleaning up.  Ji Aun got me Oreo Cheesecake (secret recipe) for Christmas! Haha.. one slice la... Watched The Incredibles with Jia Pei this morning. And have a few presents to unwrap either tonight or tomorrow...I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!! |
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December 26th, 2004
Merry Christmas POSTED AT 11:04 PM Erm. From the 24th --> dinner at Alice's. Vincent cooked sweet and sour fish and tau-yew chicken. Alice cooked chicken soup and fried veggie. I uh... helped to wash the veggie and chop garlic. Haha... was nice. 25th --> Christmas service and then the Curve and then Sungai Wang. Ergh. 26th --> 8.30am service (all half asleep), then One Utama to get Fay Cheng's coat, and then Pizza Hut with the RM20 voucher mum gave me, and then half-cleared my room, then CF committee meeting. Am going to finish clearing the rest of my things, and then sleep as early as possible. Jo wants the adaptor now. Nighties. |
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December 30th, 2004
29 dec POSTED AT 06:00 PM Yeah, of course. Actually, I did know about it, but didn’t know that it was so pervasive in everything. And apparently these waves can go through anything. Maybe that explains why my eyes are getting worse. And my worsening spelling. And the writers block that I get often in front of the computer. Or it could just be that I’m growing older and more jaded. Jaded. The word seems to come up a lot. I’m jaded. It’s old. It’s normal. As I noted to Ivan and Fay Cheng one fine day (I think it was on Sunday), for a Charismatic, I’m awfully conservative and… sceptical. Yeah, that was the word he brought up. Concerning the recent tsunami thingy, my audit teacher was asking, do you think that God is angry with us? Doreen mentioned end times, and although we (Fay, Ivan and I) had briefly talked about this that day, I didn’t feel qualified enough to answer. For one, I don’t know much about it. And talking about it with Christians who know what I’m talking about is kind of different from voicing such stuff in class where for all you know, you may offend someone else’s opinion of God. I’m learning that it’s best not to talk about things you don’t know about, because you’d only dig yourself into some kind of hole, or end up flaunting your ignorance. And ignorance is one thing that I have a lot of. Relating to Yuin’s scribbles, Solomon asked me yesterday, what do you get when you line up non-Halal food? BABI-QUEUE! (some brains just think alike?)(btw, pic done by Yuin )on being alone would you love me? which one wise? Coming: end of the year review book review: The Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett Listening to: GMB |
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December 31st, 2004
year end review - sort of POSTED AT 12:25 AM They go something like this: “What I want to achieve and what can help me achieve them: 1) Get 4.0 GPA again – study? 2) Be involved in creative arts, improve skills - ? 3) Write more, publish? - ? 4) Finish all the story books in my room - =] 5) Devotions - =]” Well, about studies, I won’t know until March next year, and about creative arts… well… DBD counts, doesn’t it? I have been writing more – but now I’m realising more doesn’t exactly count. I need quality, thought, and some thing other than blogging shallowness. Item 4 has not been accomplished at all, seeing that I have also been buying more books without having finished the earlier ones, or finishing the recent ones. Blame it on enticing books in the library and sudden onslaughts of assignments, tutorials and exams. On devotions… they’re consistent in an inconsistent sort of way. I’d have brief spurts of great devotions, and brief spurts of bored readings and brief spurts of… not reading my Bible. On the other hand, I’ve finally finished reading the Bible once. Significant things that have happened this year in no particular order: 1) graduated from Diploma with a distinction (CGPA 3.954) 2) Moved to KL and started living on my own 3) Participated in Drunk Before Dawn 4) Participated in Phases-meeting-stuff (still muddled at variety of confewsing names) 5) Bought a Discman 6) Joined the CF committee in KL 7) Had my car break down 8) Discovered PayLess books 9) Won consolation in book review competition (and get told that my writing is good) 10) Finished reading the Bible once 11) Broke my HS02 bag strap and get to buy new bag at Singapore 12) Visited Singapore 13) Discovered Jeremy Camp and Bebo Norman… and all sorts of good music 14) Tsunami hit Penang I think that’s it. I’m not sure. I can’t remember. It’s now roughly half an hour to the last day of this year. I attempted studying, but fell into a kind of reverie-ish mood. What do you call that feeling when you just have this little lump that sits at your heart? Depression? Anti-socialness? I just decided not to go for watch night service tomorrow night. We never have one at home, and it’s not something particularly necessary (I think). At any rate, I need to study. And I need time alone. It’s really been a crazy year. I don’t know what to think. I don’t have the words to describe it. It’s just been a totally mad rollercoaster of emotions and faithlessness. Or faithfulness (His, of course). I think I’ve cried more times this year than I can remember – and for no apparent reason too. It’s wild. One moment, I can be all gung-ho and give people advice on getting closer to God, and the next I’m doubting His existence. I’ve somehow seemed to have forgotten the meaning of the word “commitment” as I used to rant about. I turn up late, frequently. And then get mad at myself. I’d have feelings of not wanting to go, not wanting to join, just wanting to leave and go elsewhere, do other things. It’s already New Year’s Eve, and I’m still stuck here. Stuck in between the wanting to write, and the not knowing what to write. All I know is that it’s been an emotionally draining year. Listening to: You Call Me Friend (Josh Yeoh) |
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December 31st, 2004
2005 POSTED AT 11:12 PM as a favorite post Then you shall call upon ME and you shall go and pray unto ME and I will hearken unto you. And you shall seek ME and find ME when you shall search for ME with all your heart. And I WILL be found of you, saith the LORD and I will turn away your captivity and I will gather you from all the nations, from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive. Jeremiah 33:3 Call unto ME and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. Goals for 2005 1) study hard - CGPA 4.0 (or at least 3.5 upwards) 2) think hard - Word study on JEREMIAH - resumption of By The Fireplace - renewal of purpose for webbies 3) write hard - meet Silverfish submission deadline (31 March 2005) - Fireplace - rewrite of Aloof 4) pray hard - weekly CF prayer meet (stop oversleeping!) - personal prayer time (at least 2 times a week?) 5) read hard - read the whole Bible again - find good Christian books / mags - finish Renewal Theology (at least the current one) 6) save hard - buy less books and CDs (mum will rejoice) - don't eat so often at expensive places / fastfood stuff - remember to tithe - church and CF 7) play hard - enjoy movies & theatre (if possible) - enjoy music and internet - enjoy story books and writing - enjoy God, friends, and church - enjoy creative arts intertwined a letter to God let love be |
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