drabs...
POSTED AT 05:11 PM

natanna

The past few days:

BBQ at uncle Geoff's. Wish he'd baked. Apple crumble, sweetmeats, trifle... Oh well, just gotta wait for Christmas, yeah?

Cappucino Cheese Cake. Yeck. I hate coffee. Nuh-uh. Being from Secret Recipe made it worse. Haha. (For some, unknown weird reason lah) 

Grandparents back from Singapore. Length of stay - unknown.

Study attempt.

Killed some fryhtans.

Did some sudoku.

Finished David Gemmell's Legend. Pretty nice, wot? Overdosed on Asterix as well. Haha. You gotta love the PSC libe.

Need to study summore. Ish. 

I forgot what I intended to blog about. Maybe I'll go kill some humans now. Heh. 

oh, alejandro
POSTED AT 05:57 PM

natanna

I watched ZORRO!! Wheeeeee...

*falls in love* 

Next up: NARNIA.

Ah, the dashing Spanish. Lol. 

Bambi?
POSTED AT 06:06 PM

natanna

Bambi

Which DISNEY character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

From Ee Laine. 

Do I have to pass it on? Err...

1. Jo?
   
2. Judson. Hahaha
3. Philip Elwell (if you still come here. lol)
4. HAMSTER.
5. Yong May.

Aiyah. Enuf lah. And whoever else wants to do lah.

Hm. Talking about Philip, Daniel's got the biggest muscles I've seen alive. It's... oversized. (Shh.) 

POSTED AT 06:52 PM

natanna

*looks around*

all quiet!

Shh... shall not break the peace.

LOL. 

because peiling wanted an essay...
POSTED AT 02:29 PM

natanna

To sum up yesterday, the bus ride was terrible, but I did get to read some interesting stuff.

See, I dug up this old drama textbook that I somehow palmed off from my cousin Daniel (He did drama for O levels) and I stuffed it into my already overfull bag. While sitting in the stupid 7 hour bus ride (7 hours! from penang! argh) I just started reading different chapters randomly. Then I stumbled upon the chapter on Jerzy Grotowski. He appears to demand  terrible discipline - insisting that acting is a way of life - that needs one to sacrifice years of life to receive proper training. As the book says, "his training was designed to give actors superb vocal and physical skills, and to teach them to break free of the limitations they placed on themselves through ignorance, lack of courage and self-deception." He believed that the true nature of acting is a search for self-knowledge.

Anyway, the part that really caught my attention was his use of "poor theatre". I don't get all of what it entails, but the basic concept of what he did was something I was (and still am) interested in working on.  This poor theatre thingy removes the use of lighting, techy equipment, music, costumes, make-up and special effects, leaving just the actor. Just the actor. The use of the conventional stage-audience set-up is dispensed with, so that the action of the play happens all around the audience.

This means, basically, that your control has to be superb - your concentration must not lapse at all, and you must really believe in what you are doing. It also means that you must be physically fit - able to control every single movement to the smallest detail. Your voice must be clear, strong, understandable. You must be superbly aware - extremely alive!

The ultimate actor's challenge. Haha. 

profiling
POSTED AT 06:57 PM

natanna

I went to change my profile. And then I decided to google my Myer-Briggs result because I couldn't remember what it meant.

ISFJ

• their "need to be needed."
• they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work
• (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.)
• ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles.
• often possessive of their loved ones
• strong emphasis on conventional behavior
• have a few, close friends - extremely loyal to these - they hate confrontation
• One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. (Ed: Mitigated by acting skills. haha)
  

that's interesting...
POSTED AT 01:54 AM

natanna

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Very High
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	High
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Very High
Dependent Personality Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

POSTED AT 12:37 PM

natanna

I did again.

I forgot what I wanted to blog about.

Haha. I'm growing old.

You know what? I don't think it's exactly nice, but come tomorrow, a huge burden is going to fly away. Whee. Haha. *shrug* I was excited about CF. But things happened. I guess I just couldn't stay on top of it. But I'm going to enjoy CF now that I don't have to worry about anything. Haha. And I get to clear a load of junk from my room.

I'm highly paranoid. I think it's hereditary. Muahahaha. Ish. Whyyyyy. 

Ok. I think I'm on hunger-stress high. It happens, it happens. You always get a little wacky when... things... happen. 

-breathe in-

-breathe out-

I wish I could NaNo, but... oh well. It doesn't even seem like I can finish that novel for the competition. *bye bye, rm6000*

frus
POSTED AT 05:11 PM

natanna

"Tell me it's okay. Tell me it's OKAY!"

"Don't you trust me?"

She stared at him, wide-eyed. "Tell me it's okay," it came out as a whisper. Strong hands enfolded her, but she beat faintly at him.

"Shh, child." Soft, gentle, quiet. A long drawn wail - a quiet sob.

"Don't you trust me?"

And she wept.
 

closure
POSTED AT 12:59 AM in thoughts

natanna

And so it's done.

I don't know if there's sufficient closure. Maybe that will only come after I'm done with Christmas Night.

But for now, there is -at least a little- some form of closure. Some form of relief. And some form of regret.

Somethings start off well. Doesn't guarantee a good ending. This would be one of those. Looking back, I don't think I end well. The Penang stint didn't quite close well either. Somehow there's no staying power. Not yet. Why? I don't know.

I don't know how true this runs, but sometimes I think it's an exercise in letting go. Because sometimes, I can't. I know I can't handle it, but I still hold on too tight. Perfectionist? Not really. Control freak would fit better. Paranoia, remember? Haha.

I guess I'm just a dreamer. I'll tell you what I want. But the following through just doesn't always come. I'm not really an administrator person (though my profile says I should be) be cause as systematic as I want to be, I have a tough time setting stuff up. I'd rather have an established system to follow.

Oh, I dunno.

---

Oh. I was playing with the library thing (see new thingy on sidebar.. haha). The only problem would be most of my books are in Penang and I can't remember what I own. 

*gasp*
POSTED AT 06:13 PM

natanna

Shocked and stunned.

A Christian NGO youth centre thing has asked if we would like to partner with them in running the Christmas Night. As in, watch the sponsors & moolah come in, man.

I don't know.

It's too sudden, it's too overwhelming. It's WAY too big. It involves multiplying everything we've done at least a hundred fold. I'm starting to freak!

Haha. We'll see. We'll have to see what Mr Wee & Mr Yik & Mr Tan say first.

I wonder if we'll take it up?

But it will seem such a waste if we don't.

Oh well. We'll see.

*grinz* 

Listening to: my brain overloading

NARNIA
POSTED AT 09:50 AM

natanna

CHRONICLES OF NARNIA CD
(A review from amazon.com)
A GREAT COMPANION ALBUM!
This new CD of music inspired by "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, 
the Witch, and the Wardrobe" is a great companion piece to both the 
classic C.S. Lewis novel, as well as to the upcoming movie based on 
it. These eleven songs takes the listener into the world of Narnia, a 
place from which you'll never want to leave.
The outstanding songs on the album are: "Remembering You" by Steven 
Curtis Chapman; "Open Up Your Eyes" by Jeremy Camp; "Lion" by Rebecca 
St. James, and "I Will Believe" by Nicole Nordeman.
If you're a fan of C.S. Lewis' beloved novel, and/or want to prepare 
yourelf for the epic film adaptation, then this album is a fantastic 
place to start! Grade: A+
Reviewer: Steven Hancock (NC,US)
Narnia Trailer, Music and More > 
http://adisney.go.com/disneypictures/narnia/index.html

ooh. 

away
POSTED AT 10:49 AM

natanna

Well, this weekend I'm off to PJ! Stayover at Wen Ping's with Clarene and Eli... anticipating Planet Shakers concert, Alexis and Acts Church.

What a girl's weekend out!

Tee hee. 

Feeling: =)

upsydatesy
POSTED AT 08:55 PM

natanna

And where do we even begin?

I'll not start on PlanetShakers. I think the problem is, I've somehow grown old. Concerts are just not there anymore. Y'know? Yeah, but I said I won't start on about it. Not now. Maybe later.

Saturday. Yes, Saturday was a very intersting day. See, what happened was I woke up early. Clarene and Wen Ping were still sleeping. So... I studied. A little. (See ma, I studied. Haha) and then... Ivan called at 11am to say that he was already in Sunway Pyramid. *oops* So everyone got up. We had french toast (cooked by Wen Ping) and Ribena for breakfast, and then went off to Sunway to meet Ivan. And... we went ice-skating! And I shocked everyone by saying "ok" on the first go. They were expecting me to say no. Haha.

So there are three things to concentrate on when you're skating. First, to keep upright, and not fall over. Second, to move. Third, to not bang or get banged by other people. Which we managed pretty well, except for Ivan, who kept falling over. Yeah.

After that, we were off to KL city centre - Jalan Anor or something -  to eat FROG PORRIDGE. It was... quite okay, but I kept to the legs... because there were some parts of the frog that... just looks so... froggy that I can't eat it. Haha. And the owner guy was sitting at a nearby table burping. He sounded so... froggy. Haha. Later on, we had ices at some fruity-the-something shop. Nice, nice.  

From there, we made a trip to Jalan Ampang to visit Alexis. Had to ask Rowen for directions though. Were there early... hung around... Double Take... some jazzy type songs... launching their second album, "1 voice, 6 strings and 12 days of Christmas". Well, it was this girl with a really nice voice... and a guy on the guitar. They did some Christmassy songs, "girl from Ipanema" (she changed it to "boy" though) and some other really nice songs. =) 

And then we got lost. See, I asked... should we ask for directions to get back to PJ? And Wen Ping said it should be okay, because the signs to PJ are usually everywhere and easy to find. And so we leave... and then we get lost. Haha. Like, as in... lost. At first, called one of Wen Ping's house mates (my ex schoolmates) but couldn't get through until later, or something like that. Called Edrian - silly fella was in Singapore. So... we did the weirdest thing on planet earth.

We stopped at the police road block. The police looked at us, came up and asked, "apa salah?" Yeah, so we got directions. Before we left, he said something about letting your "pak/tok" drive... unfortunately for us... they're NOT IN KL. Hahahahaha.

Yeah, so we got home anyway. We were soooooo tired.

Went to Acts church this morning. Met Ken on the way up, and he asked "where's Yuin?" I was like.. uh.. dunno... on holiday? But she turned up later. Hm. Who did I see there? Actually, there are quite a few people there I recognise. I just don't really remember who they are. Haha. Oh wells. 

of dates
POSTED AT 01:56 PM

natanna

Got me exam docket.

*waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh*

20 days to ACCA.

31 days to MANNA. 

again?
POSTED AT 10:18 AM

natanna

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	High
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	High
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	High
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

I did the thingy again in a better frame of mind... and its different. Haha. Mood swings. Mood swings.

STUDYYYYYYYYY

 

spirituality
POSTED AT 12:21 AM in thoughts

natanna

I don't understand how some people can make everything a "spiritual" thing. Dragging in the name of God and Satan into every event of life. How about human nature? Normal events of life? A snatch theft becomes "God's wake up call." A bad nightmare becomes "Satan's attack." True, I understand that God is behind everything... but isn't that kind of... overspiritualising just a little?

Is there such a thing as "underspiritualising" then? If there is, I think I'm tending that way. You can't attribute everything that happens to a purposeful event that's supposed to send you a message from God, can you? An accident is an accident. It isn't necessarily God's divine retribution. Unless He specifically tells you so.

I'm not saying that God doesn't speak through things that happen to you. I'm not saying that God doesn't leave little signals and clues to guide you. I'm just saying that... it's not necessarily something "against" you because you've "done wrong", yeah? 

Another thing I don't understand is... is... fanaticism. What right has someone to speak as if he/she has the monopoly on what God says? How can someone think that he/she is always right, and that if he/she is right, the other party is wrong? Couldn't there just be conflicting views that aren't either right or wrong, but are just conflicting because of different personalities and ways of dealing with things?

What do you say to someone who is of the firm opinion that you are wrong? What do you say when you've admitted you're wrong, and you're struggling to change, but every word that person says rubs it in and makes it worse?

Last of all, how would you counsel someone who is asking you what to do? 

Y'know, sometimes I figure that the people who seem the most religious sometimes turn out to be the hardest people to love. 

 

And yet, all this in itself sounds so condemnatory.

Trying not to be. Where is the line between honest questioning and self-righteousness?

Jam 1:26

(ALT)  If anyone thinks to be religious among you*, [and yet] does not bridle [fig., control] his tongue _but_ deceives his heart [fig., inner self, and throughout book], the religion of this one [is] useless.
(MSG)  Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air.

Feeling: hungwee

enough?
POSTED AT 02:52 PM

natanna

You know... you sometimes get this feeling that you're not trying hard enough. That you're capable of more than this.

And then you ignore it and start singing along to the songs on your computer.

At the end of the day, you've accomplished some thing, but there's this niggling feeling that you could have done more.

I'm studying, but some how it seems like not hard enough.

fast
POSTED AT 11:08 PM

natanna

Aunty Esther mentioned that the church will be going on a fast from 21 - 27 November. First reaction: "aiyah... study sure very hungry one... how to fast? Summore need my brain power." Second reaction: "very good reason for you to go on a computer fast. It will also cut down distraction!!!!!"

She also said "believe that God will do something in your life."

Okay.

I'll NOT be on the comp from tomorrow until the 28th. We'll see where it goes from there.

I'm believing for:

1] Super good results for ACCA papers.

2] Funds for Christmas Night 2005

3] People. Salvations during Christmas Night.

---

ACCA schedule:

5 December 2005, Monday, 3pm: 3.4 Business Information Management (IT paper)

6 December 2005, Tuesday, 3pm: 3.1 Audit and Assurance Services

---

Christmas Night fundraising:

5-8 December (Monday - Thursday)
13-16 December (Tuesday - Friday)

We wanted two weeks straight, but Mr Yik from SAD said that we're not allowed to have 2 weeks of fundraising straight so that members won't complain that they're too busy, cannot study, fail papers, etc. Don't ask me how this weird arrangement actually works, but he said "I'm being very lenient, ya." So... thank God! Haha.

Current cash status: RM1400 from last year's surplus.
Current total budgeted expenditure: RM8500
You do the maths.

---

Call me. SMS me. Take me out to lunch/dinner. *HINT* 

POSTED AT 05:15 PM

natanna

i is back. but i is updates later.

haha

in the meantime...

adopt your own virtual pet!

POSTED AT 02:09 PM

natanna

And this is interesting...
I didn't know that they translated shows twice.
But at any rate, the Malaysian translation of Jedi as "Chedar" still sounds a little bit more reasonable than... "Presbyterian Church."

Link stolen from Jia Wern