the ATM hates me.
POSTED AT 10:23 PM

natanna

It's official. The ATM machine hates me.
See, I had like... rm2 in my wallet. So I figured I'd go to Carrefour, take cash from the ATM and then settle for a nice McDonald's lunch and sit there for a while to study. (Free refills mah)
But that was not to be.
See, there are 6 ATMs in Carrefour. One Maybank one wasn't working. So there was this long line at the other. The line suddenly drastically shortened... so with this really sinking feeling, I went to try it. Press, press, press, press *wah.. I think can work* Beeeeeep... mechanical failure. ISH!
So the 3rd ATM had no bankcard function, so I went to the next (RHB, I think - or was it Bumi?) Line up, press, press, press... switching service is not online. Raaahhhhrrrrrr
Okay, never mind... one more ATM... with bankcard. Press, press, press, wait, wait, wait.... *sinking feeling* host timed out. Sigh.
So I leave Carrefour and head to the Maybank behind Jusco. Found a parking space *ooh, miracle* and walk towards Maybank. Big yellow sign on door - Sorry, ATM out of service. Patutlah. Ber-frussing all the way, I head off to Danau Kota and finally get money from the ATM in Petronas.
This took slightly more than ONE HOUR.

I say, the ATM hates me. A lot.
I told this story to my friend, and she goes, "huh? Carrefour ATM usually always work one what."
I tell her, "not when I'm there." (Most of the time that I go to Carrefour and use the ATM, at least one of the machines is down.)

too much?
POSTED AT 03:26 PM

natanna

Taking brief looks at others' (unupdated) blogs.
Makes me wonder how come it's so easy for me to just take 5 mins and roll off a few short paragraphs of randomness.
If this were an e-mail, would it be considered "spam"?

I've been playing with my teensy weensy magic wardrobe. It gets boring fast. Once I'm done with this box of koko krunch, I think I'll head back to Carrefour and get Honey Stars. The one with the griffin.
I'd take the White Witch, but when you actually inspect the figurine, she looks quite ugly. And Aslan's just a boring old lion. And he doesn't even change colour.
What's the probability that if I bought another koko krunch I'd get the Edmund scene instead of the Peter one that I have?

Ok. I think slightly more than 5 mins dy.

Ciao.
Reading: past year papers
Listening to: Carried Me - Jeremy Camp
Feeling: bored

roar!
POSTED AT 04:54 PM

natanna

Music inspired by the Chronicles of Narnia
Whee...
I have it!
Thank you, Jong Chern / Edrian for being the first customer(s) for our CF fundraising. Hahahahahahahahahahah

*falls in love with CD*
Listening to: Lion - Reb St. James - Narnia

sometimes
POSTED AT 09:21 PM

natanna

Sometimes you want to speak, but there are no words.
Sometimes you want to sing, but you can't find the notes.
Sometimes you want to cry, but your eyes stay dry.
Sometimes you want to live, but you're all alone.

Sometimes you look to the heavens, but it seems to stay shut
Sometimes you look to creation, but its claws stay sharp
Sometimes you look to horizon, but it's bleak and grey
Sometimes you look to the beginning, but it doesn't change

Sometimes, sometimes, all stays still
Sometimes, sometimes, it spirals on
Sometimes, sometimes, it's drizzling gray
Sometimes, sometimes, it's golden hay

--------------------------------------------

And yet sometimes you look, and there are no words.

argh
POSTED AT 10:00 PM

natanna

one cat, nine lives
one anna, nine deaths

*huggles self*

deeps
POSTED AT 11:35 PM in thoughts

natanna

You're standing on the brink. You know there are depths of emotions that you have yet to discover, depths of questions you have yet to ask. Yet you stand at the brink, precariously, but you can't fall in.
You face the after-washes of feeling, stare into the shadows of your fears - and yet, you don't know what it is. You don't know what it means.

It's like standing on the edge of the cliff. You feel the wind, and you know you could plunge at any moment. But you don't know when, and you don't know into what.
It's like drowning. You're gasping for air, struggling to emerge from the waters. You know there's something you need, but with every second, it slips by. You try to push through, but every effort gets feebler, as every second you grow more numb. Yet sometimes, you get a glimpse. You get a brief second of air.
It's like trying to cry, but discovering you've forgotten how.
It's like trying to dance without learning the steps, or hearing the music.
It's like playing in the shallows, knowing the sea is a step away, and realising that you don't know how to swim. It frightens you, but you can't leave. You don't want to - because somewhere deep inside, you know you were meant to ride those waves.

I can't paint you a picture. I wish I could, but I can't. It would be simpler.
I'm standing on the edge of something I can't define. I don't know why I'm there, or how I got there. I don't know what I'm looking for or what I left behind.

Is this eternity?

mana
POSTED AT 10:39 PM

natanna

I learnt something new today. While blog surfing, I stumbled upon the word 'mana' in relation to DoTA. So, being rather curious, I went to search it online.

ma·na (mä'nə pronunciation
n.

1. A supernatural force believed to dwell in a person or sacred object.
2. Power; authority.

[Maori, integrity, charisma, prestige.]

(more on mana)

Mana in fictional works

In some fantasy settings and games (in particular role-playing games), "mana" is a natural energy resource which is used or channeled by wizards to cast magic spells. This use of the term was coined by Larry Niven in his 1978 novella, The Magic Goes Away, which deals with mana as a limited natural resource, becoming depleted. The use of the word outside of anthropological circles may well derive from this.

Which totally explains why, when we were putting up the flyers, some random guy walked by and said to his friends, "Eh, I thought "Manna" means energy?"

ding!
POSTED AT 08:58 AM

natanna

I was just re-reading a few old posts and read this again:

"ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles."

EXACTLY... I'm going bonkers over Christmas Night, and the worst feeling in the world (well, one of la) is the feeling that you're supposed to know what's happening, but you don't!

Someone described our committee meetings as "a chicken running around without a head."

I'm sorry, dears! I'm trying, okay?

not so short after all
POSTED AT 10:41 AM

natanna

This is a short one to say that I'm finding myself incredibly busy, with fundraising almost all day and practices every night... and I may not be here very often. I feel so sad. I miss my own blog. Hahahahaha...

What I've done the past week is this:
1] fundraising, fundraising, fundraising (still not meeting targets, sigh)

2] Emily of Emerald Hill! (NOT Exorcism, ok? Can you listen to the whole title and not get distracted by the name "Emily"?) Took a pix with Pearlly Chua. Hahaha... Have to get it from David Lim tho. It was very good! The director guy works with Canticle Singers.

3] Working on my c'mas present project. On the computer. Haha... It may not work out. (Which is why I was too busy to blog though I was online. I multitask, but I'm not THAT good a multitasker)

4] Watched NARNIA yesterday! Wooohooo!!! Canggih giler! I mean the show la, not GSC. Stupid GSC ha... got traffic jam to enter the cinema summore. Haha... and then the show started like.... 20 minutes late? If you count plus the adverts... I think more than half an hour late. Went with Rowen, Shawn, Edwin, Yuin and Jia Wern.

5] Celebrated Wai Nyan's birthday! Met freaky friend called Samuel. Haha. (No la, he's quite nice)

6] My car DIED!!!!

7] My exam is OVER... classes start next week

Ah, 7... perfect number. Haha... bye bye then. If I'm hardworking enough you'll see me tomorrow. LOL!

help!
POSTED AT 11:32 PM

natanna

I'm going to dance this friday night (no, you're not allowed to laugh) and for the FIRST time ever, I'm going to use a tambourine!!

Can someone lend me one?

Wondering where to dig up a tambourine... haha.. a nice one... with those flying coloured stringy stuff.

*huggles*
POSTED AT 06:23 PM

natanna

Finally got my darling sent to the hospital...
Coming back soon with a brand new battery!

No more stupid i-can't-start-the-car days!
No more irritating ticky-tiacking in the car...
Apparently my shaft's gone too though. So it makes a creaking noise when turning the wheel...

A Giant of Faith Has Finished The Race
POSTED AT 11:40 AM

natanna

To the man who taught me to eat eu char koay with bovril, who brought my father round to eat all the best foods, whose house was filled with laughter, fruits and beautiful things...

Ps Phillip Loo

good bye
Feeling: sad

MANNA
POSTED AT 05:45 PM

natanna

Mixed feelings. I can't really figure it out.

On one hand, I think it was great - things went pretty well. On the other, everything was also quite messed up - we ran late, the emcees were super unprepared... etc, etc, etc.

I shan't review it. It wouldn't be fair, to myself or to anyone involved.

I'm somewhat glad it's over, and yet... the realisation that it is over hasn't quite sunk in yet. I'm still floating. There's that feeling of not being quite... there. And classes start on Monday. Sigh.

THANK YOU'S

• Altered Frequency - for being there, for sharing your hearts
• Unabashed - for opening the night, for being there
• Mr Wee - for your support
• Rebecca - for keeping your head when I lose mine
• Jireh - for helping in the midst of your busy holiday schedule
• Regina - for your commitment
  
• Shawn - for coordinating with the guards and all those bright red tables
• Jasmine - for your constant encouragement, and level-headed ideas and suggestions
• Mr & Mrs Choo (Jasmine's parents) - for the loan and the house to bake cookies in
• Edwin - for stepping in to help with the fundraising
• Joy - for settling the food
• Sarah - for the great designs!
• Valene - for helping do the booklet
• Bryan - for handling the sound and lights with minimal briefing because we were all so blur
• Rowen - for worrying for (and with) us
• everyone who contributed in cash and kind
• all the CF members who contributed energy to remove tables and bring them in

Most of all, to God - for tying everything together and making it work.
You gave the dream, you saw its fulfilment.

POSTED AT 06:01 PM

natanna

You scored as Frodo. You're Frodo Baggins! Frodo is a somewhat timid hobbit of the Shire, but he sets out on a dangerous journey to save Middle Earth, though the quest will change his life forever. Frodo is a selfless being, and his loyal friends will help him through his hardships. "We set out to save the Shire, Sam, and it has been saved... but not for me." Frodo 63% Gollum 56% Samwise 50% Arwen 50% Aragorn 50% Eowyn 44% Gandalf 38% Faramir 31% Pippin 25% Which LOTR character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

my first accident
POSTED AT 03:43 PM

natanna

Aaaarrrrggghhh.....

*traumatised*

So it goes like this... Stupid lorry parked at side of road. Lots of stupid cars parked at side of road. Stupid man selling rattan chairs at side of road. Anna tries to pass by.

  So, 1) direction anna comes from, slowly turning the corner in direction of 2). Stupid lorry decides to come out following 3). Anna starts to freak and stops. Stupid lorry continues to move and SCRAPES past my car. Anna gets very freaked and starts horning just as she hears *creeeaaaaakkkkkk* Man selling rattan chairs is staring at commotion. Anna gets very freaked and finally starts moving, passes by and parks in one of the parking lots. Nice malay man pointed out that the lorry had turned one round and parked so we can go and talk to him and get compensation.

Stupid lorry driver starts complaining in canto / mandarin... Trixie starts yelling in mandarin... Edrian and Elena turn up. Anna gets frus... walks off to coffeeshop and drinks a nice warm barley. Comes out to find Trixie, Edrian and Elena still at it with the guy... Attracts more church people...

In the end... after they threatened to report to police, they settled with paying me RM70.

Never been so grateful for church people. Haha.

When we got home after lunch, Trixie practiced her papparazzi skills with my camera on my car.  

 

My poor darling.  

Feeling: freaked

silence?
POSTED AT 04:57 PM in thoughts

natanna

A spin off from Ariel's:

'If God is taking us into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, He will give us the first sign of His intimacy—silence. The devil calls it unanswered prayer -- Oswald Chambers

Silence.

Have you ever noticed that there are two kinds of silence? One would be the uncomfortable I-don't-know-you-so-I-have-nothing-to-say silence that generally leads to awkward fact-finding questions. The other would be the comfortable Hey-friend-I've-nothing-to-say-now-but-that's-okay kind.

Have you ever noticed the nonverbal communication between couples or between really old friends? There's this certain way that old friends instinctively react to each other. There's this certain way that musicians flow together by mere body language when they've jammed together long enough.

The depth of your friendship is measured in the quality of your silence.

Okay, so that's a stupid sounding statement, but I've thought it often enough. I don't often judge myself close enough to someone until I feel that the silences are more comfortable than uncomfortable. (There's always silence because I'm not normally a very noisy person) But if it's true in the human sense, is it also true in the spiritual sense? That God's silence is a sign of intimacy? 

Sometimes when you're at your lowest, all you need is some sort of presence. That's when you cry the loudest to God. And the heavens seem shut.

Could that be a sign that God trusts you enough to leave you alone? 

[edit: more at the next post]

glorifying?
POSTED AT 07:16 PM in thoughts

natanna

'If God is taking us into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, He will give us the first sign of His intimacy - silence. The devil calls it unanswered prayer' -- Oswald Chambers

I've never thought of prayer as "for the glorifying of [God]." Have you? They tell you prayer is talking to God. Prayer is asking from God. Prayer is like a conversation with God. Prayer moves the hands of God. But for the glorifying of God?

How does prayer glorify God? Does a conversation with a friend glorify that friend? So maybe not everything with God can be paralleled with a human relationship. Can it? 

What really is prayer in the first place?

An effort to communicate with God? A reverent petition? An urgent request?

Must prayer be verbal? Can prayer be a thought? A feeling? A wish? A poem? A blog post?

culture
POSTED AT 12:07 AM in thoughts

natanna

Does culture dictate good Christianity?

In a country where people look askance at long-haired, earringed guys how can one tell if such a person has a strong faith in God?Where a culture dictates that smoking and drinking in any form is "evil" and another says that it is okay, what is good Christianity then? In actual fact, how can one look at someone else and judge by appearance the strength (or existence) of their faith?

Romans says something about things being a sin unto someone if it sears his conscience. (Or is that out of context?)

A person may be the kindest, most considerate and loving person you know and yet not know Jesus. Another could be the most grumpy old woman in the country and yet claim to be a Christian. Someone who's seemingly strong and serving God may in fact be facing the dryest, roughest patches, while another whose face is stone blank may be experiencing the greatest grace of God.

I was reading someone's blog (or was it e-mail? I forget) about fruit and roots. Darn. My memory's going. I can't remember exactly who, what, when, where, why. I just remember something about the nature of the tree - it bears good fruit because it is a good tree... not that it is a good tree because it bears good fruit.

Where am I going with this? I don't know where I'm going with this.

I guess it's just because I saw him again the other day, and I was just having this like thought, like - how can he be living this lifestyle when he's a Christian? I wonder how strong his faith is... does he still believe in God?

And then I felt really bad, because I was really judging him by how he looked. And even though I'm in ignorance of his state of faith, I jump to conclusions that it must be bad, or nonexistent, just by his appearance. For all I know he could be reading the Bible and praying more consistently than I do.

Feeling: pensive

we got cheated...
POSTED AT 04:33 PM

natanna

by the canteen aunty.

Per person, it was supposed to be RM2.50, with 5 people per table. For RM2.50, she said she'd give curry puff and eggtart, sausage, nugget, kuih...and we thought, wah, value for money. It sounded reasonable, it did. Until we saw what she actually prepared.

It's de only pic I have, and its half eaten... but basically her "eggtart" was only like, 1/2 eggtart per person... that little banana leaf plate was supposedly for 5 people... and cost us RM12.50 PER PLATE!!! To make it a bit more fair, including drinks lah. The other stuff like sweets, jelly, junkfood, we bought on our own... We were saying... we should have just bought in Chicken rice or something... more worth it in the end.

Ish.

I'm supposed to go back for Christmas... but I got ffk-ed. Haha...  Am looking for bus tix now. (Or rather, asking Solomon to look...) Rowen says, if not, I should just stay back and keep him company. Hahaha... why should I want to do that? *trying not to sound mean*

In an interesting twist, my Adv Corporate Reporting teacher is a lady called "Ms Chin Yoke Fong", whilst my Strat Biz Planning and Dev is a man called "Mr Chin Yok Fong." When I got my timetable, I'd thought it was a misprint..........

To see more pix, go to http://photobucket.com/albums/b158/annatsp/manna/

If I've learnt one thing from this... it's to decide very carefully who I want to pass my camera to. I have lousy pix. And even very few of them. Ah, what a waste. Any one else took pix? 

I'm scattered. Will be back when I'm more... together. Haha. Erm. Coordinated? Bah, whatever. 

ish
POSTED AT 11:08 PM

natanna

Those silly mat sallehs. First they register me as Ms Tan Shuh Ping, so I ask them to add in my "Anna". So the letter comes as "Ms A Tan Shuh Ping" and inside they now refer to me as Ms PING. What on earth is this?!

Silly ole ACCA. *grumble grumble* 

*ahem*
POSTED AT 11:22 AM

natanna

Congratulations to...

DAVID TAN

my brilliant brother

on his

7 As for PMR

Quite evidently he's brighter than his sisters. Haha.

Christmas
POSTED AT 10:12 AM

natanna

Christmas smells like a dance.

A spirally dance with twirls and dips, with leaps and bows.

It feels like a song.

A love song with violin swells and trumpets.

Christmas wells like a bubble of love and joy and hope.

I'm coming home today. =) 

happy birthday!
POSTED AT 12:20 PM

natanna

My sis turns... 24 today! Haha...

*waves*

ANYWAYs... I'm home for Christmas, and I'll be here all week. Who's back? Gimme a call... MSN me... something... let's uh... hang =)

Don't expect prezzies though... I haven't gone shopping. I'll just make ya a gift of my company, okies?

Left KL at about 4.30pm yesterday... followed Jimmy & his colleague in his car... stopped at Ipoh for dinner and met up with Jo! *huggles* Yeah, and I reached back in time to see the end of the fireBRAND's Christmas party. Haha. Looking forward for tomorrow... and OCOV!

Merry Christmas
POSTED AT 04:21 PM

natanna

Another Christmas. Time passes so fast!

Took pix today at church... but you know what... I didn't bring my cable back... well, if my dad's cable can fit I'll transfer in the pix tomorrow lah. If not... you'll just have to wait.

Feel kinda bad... I received prezzies, but I didn't give any

And I had free buffet lunch at Cititel Penang. Nyum nyum. Haha.

Oh yes... my bro's classmate, Brian was baptised today... YOU ROCK, MAN!

Ok, next up: OCOV! =)

1st Jan 2006, 10.30am at the Geodesic Dome! 

yellow
POSTED AT 10:55 AM

natanna

I am... sitting in my dad's office... using his laptop... while he's in the upper room settling video stuff for OCOV. Dum dee dum. So what shall I do now? Gonna go get my hair trimmed soon.

I've been playing SIMS again. Muahahaha... wondering if I can get the fella promoted to the final stage before I go back.

Speaking of going back, I don't know how I'm going back. No one seems to be driving. Oh wells, it's the bus again, I guess.

Erm. Yeah. So I watched King Kong with the Metro group which came up to Penang... and I found it interesting... ahha

Now I'm being chased off...

randomed
POSTED AT 10:39 AM

natanna

In a brilliant stroke of verbosity, my brother was just called a "heyousheyou" this morning.

 

my bro is dead
POSTED AT 05:35 PM

natanna

he typed that himself...

dead crazy, i think. muahahahahahahahaha

Now he's laughing. Shawn's got new competition at laughing.

I was digging up some old files in search of my Fasollado 2003 scores (still can't find them... do I actually still own them?) and found some stacks of old cards that I've kept. A lot of them are from Josh. Haha. Some of them are from Lay Hoon. Some are from some half-forgotten people from NSCF. Oh, and Phui Yee's cards are super nice. One card was signed from the boar and the cow. Muahahahahaha... Yea, those were the good old days

 

BR: Tom Holt
POSTED AT 02:40 PM in book review

natanna

Ookies. So it's not exactly a book book review - more of an author book review. Haha. Does that make sense?

Well, Jong Chern first introduced me to Tom Holt some time in September - right before my exam, the naughty fella. Haha. So when I was back in the library a week ago, I thought I'd pick up another book by Holt since I liked the first one.

Holt is kind of like a sparser version of Pratchett. He has that kind of whacked out humour where anything and everything weird can happen - only there's less of it (well, only one kind of weird happens at a time) because its set on earth; as opposed to Pratchett's everything weird happens all at the same time in Ankh-Morpork.

ANYWAY I was just distracted trying to figure out how Grouper works (still haven't got it done, but who cares... eck) and I figure I've nothing much left to say about Holt except, ME LIKES. Haha.

That's brief and simple. Me likes. Haha.

Hmph. That's not much of a review. Ish. Should I retitle it?