Entries for April, 2006
April 2nd, 2006
strategies / ideas POSTED AT 06:02 PM in thoughts It's always interesting when stuff that you study for exams suddenly meet a practical application, even in the spiritual realm. Today, Ps Ronnie at Revival Centre talked about Breaking Growth Barriers, and one thing he asked was whether we have been intentional about our personal and spiritual growth. In a series of weird, not-quite-interconnected Anna thoughts, I started thinking about what I had been studying yesterday about corporate strategies: intended, emergent, realised and unrealised. Promise does not make possession automatic. Just having a vision / strategy / plan for your life does not make it automatically happen. Every intended strategy can result in two categories: the realised that actually comes to pass, and the unrealised that remains a dream. I figure having a plan for your life, with God is something like what Quinn calls "logical incrementalism". How it works is basically like this: you have this plan, this overarching target or direction for your life (say, to be like Jesus) but how you get there is actually a series of small steps, taken a bit at a time, sometimes following fuzzy logic, but always with this ultimate goal of reaching that target. Every single little step taken, is taken as a test - a test of faith? a test of self? - with the goal in mind of pleasing the Father. Sometimes the step could be in the wrong direction, but because of the vision kept in mind, it will be ultimately corrected. This is a mix between intended (where you plan every single detail) and emergent (where you just take everything as it comes). The danger with being totally intended is focusing on the rules, focusing on the do's and don'ts, and possibly becoming totally phariseic without realising it. The danger of being totally emergent is probably just drifting until one day, you find that you've backsliden and don't know where you're going. I don't know if this quite makes sense, or if it's just something off-tangent. But yeah. There it is. He talked about possibility consciousness and God consciousness, and I liked the bit he ended with, about faith and God-consciousness being a Biblical way of seeing, thinking, speaking and acting. Breaking through can be dong by looking looking first to God, then looking at ourselves.Seeing Him first --- There is no glory in man --- I finally watched V for Vendetta today. It's food for thought. A man may die, but his ideas live forever. Ideas change the world. Ideology and philosophy are what shapes the actions of man in his world. How do these get disseminated? It somehow ties in with a book I was browsing in Kinokuniya before the show, about theatre. A show or play is a success when it does more than entertain. It succeeds when your audience connects with you and wakes up the next morning remembering you as more than a character, but as a person. It succeeds when they wake up thinking about the deeper issues touched in the play. Ideas change the world. But more than that, it's the hope behind the ideas that grip the audience. It's what the idea has to offer that is important. Most people grip on to an idea because it offers an escape from what they believe is a dead end. They think that the future - a brighter one - lies in the fulfilment of that idea, no matter what pain and suffering it causes now. They hold on to that idea, right or wrong, because maybe, it's the only thing that's keeping them sane and alive. And an idea is kept alive through symbols. A symbols loses its meaning when the idea loses its potency. Yet being human, we cling on to these symbols because we dare not lose that idea lest we lose our direction in life. A church has its symbols. Are they still relevant now? 1 talked!
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April 3rd, 2006
questions POSTED AT 04:54 PM What do you want it for? What purpose will it serve? Is it good? Is it necessary? Is it what you want, or what God wants? Why is it important? What effect will it have? How will it affect your life? Are you serving your own ego? |
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April 5th, 2006
hmm POSTED AT 10:20 PM in thoughts Ps Tryphena said yesterday, "Despite appearances, you're actually a very quiet, personal person." I suppose that means I appear very friendly and outgoing? If so, that's one goal achieved. Sort of. She said to pray for people that were the same to come my way. It's interesting to note that although I have many friends in CF, when they start talking in groups and "cliquing", I'm not exactly in any one group. I tend to hover and leave. --- My car dieded. Again. *cries* Ironically, I'd just mentioned to Ray, that despite all its weirdness / broken parts, it's still moving. Jinxed. Haha.
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April 6th, 2006
*blink* POSTED AT 09:48 PM in thoughts I'll wake up tomorrow, and this will all be a dream. I don't know you enough. Do you? |
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April 7th, 2006
e-mails POSTED AT 11:48 PM Bahs. My firefox errored in the middle of a post. Anyway, as I was saying, I got two interesting e-mails today. One from Hillsongs: HILLSONG CONFERENCE 2006 – SPECIAL GUESTS AND SPEAKERS Woo hoo! July 3 - 7 will be a blast!! The other e-mail was from my lecturer with this:
Not like I understand what the heck its talking about lah. But heh. That's me! We supposedly appeared in the Star on Tuesday. Anyone saw it? Don't know if its in R.AGE or in the news proper. Haha. Happy happy. I'm sharing at cf on Wed. Don't know what to say. |
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April 8th, 2006
ASHES POSTED AT 12:03 PM in thoughts Not my will, but Yours be done. --- Have figured out what to say in CF. Come if you want. Wednesday, 6.30 pm at DK S, TARC KL. I don't actually know what's the whole programme, only that I'm taking a short section, about 10 minutes. --- Silence in the soul. Being reflective. Offering on the altar all that I am, all that I believed I stood for, all that I hope I will be. We reflect on the cross this week. Awake! Awake my soul, O Lord Reading: passion & purity - elisabeth elliot Listening to: edge of my seat - switchfoot Feeling: quiet |
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April 9th, 2006
Palm Sunday POSTED AT 03:26 PM in thoughts Luke 19:28 - 47 And when he had said these things, he went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem. When he drew near to Bethphage and Bethany, at the mount that is called Olivet, he sent two of the disciples, saying, "Go into the village in front of you, where on entering you will find a colt tied, on which no one has ever yet sat. Untie it and bring it here. If anyone asks you, 'Why are you untying it?' you shall say this: 'The Lord has need of it.'" If He came now, would we be rejoicing or would we be wondering worriedly about all the things we have been doing, but should not have been doing? The people saw His coming and recognised Him as King. Did their spirits somehow receive revelation from God? But the very next week, these would be the same people who would cry out, Crucify him! He wept over Jerusalem, knowing that they were blinded to Him because of their very religiosity. He wept because they were lost, and didn't know it. Do we weep for the lost? Then He cleansed the temple, and taught the people. These were not actions that flowed out of nothingness. These were actions thought of, premeditated. They flowed out of a depth of emotion, a deep cry for God's righteousness. But it was no mere emotion, that said one thing and did another. It was translated into action. He cried over them. He prayed for them. And He taught them. He did not leave them alone, even in the knowledge that these very people He was teaching would turn against Him in the midst of the mob. When the people were rejoicing and ushering Him into the city on Palm Sunday as the Son of David, King of Israel, only Jesus knew the path ahead. But He stayed focused on one thing only: to do the will of the Father. --- I've been learning about culture and its effect on the organisation, as well as the interplay between culture and leadership. How leadership shapes the culture even as the culture defines its leaders. Peters described certain symbol acts that helps define and change culture as much as, or maybe more than, the setting of goals and vision does. One of them would be the use of language. We know how the use of time focuses people on what the leaders think are important. But the use of language? It's easy to ignore the importance of how you phrase certain things. We tend to be careless about the things we say, and the way we write things. And yet! We listen to a preacher who through the use of certain terms and phrases, a certain style of talking, excites us to greater levels. We read articles that spur us on in our walk. Some inspirational speakers can suddenly drop revelationary messages in our hearts. Sometimes when you think about it, it wasn't that their message was anything really very new. It was just the way they said it. The way they used certain words, for example. Or the way they used stories to speak. It could have been the selection of one word over another in that article, that suddenly made things clear to us. And suddenly it was a fresh revelation that changed our mindsets. Leaders, the way you use language can either help or hinder your followers from fully grasping your vision. --- On other matters, second-guessing others is not a good thing to do. But worse still is when you start second-guessing yourself. Everything falls into a muddle of wondering why you did this-and-that in relation to why they did this-and-that. And you get incapacitated for no apparent reason. If you are going to do something, do it. If you are not going to do something, don't do it. Don't sit around analysing your motives of why or why not you should do something. Don't sit around analysing what so-and-so would think if you do something or not. You'll never do anything that way. It's a terrible thing when you are suspicious of others, but it's a terribler thing when you are suspicious of yourself. Best of all, throw everything up to God and get on with life. He'll tie everything together, already knowing your motives and actions. If need be, He'll even change them for you. No? =) Feeling: thoughtful |
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April 11th, 2006
tag? POSTED AT 01:40 PM My earliest memory: At school: My first relationship: I wish I never had worn: I wish I had: I wish I hadn't: At home I cook: When I was a child, I wanted to: The book that changed my life is: If only I would: Friends say that I am: What I don't find amusing is: *tags Francis, Yuin-Y, Josh* --- That's it... I have to study now. |
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April 12th, 2006
rambles POSTED AT 05:45 PM Hope deferred makes the heart sick. --- There are somethings that should not be said. Now that was one of them. --- Basil --- STUDY! --- Grandparents getting water baptised on Easter - Woohoo! --- Wants to watch Gubra, but there's classes tmr and Easter practice at 8pm. --- Easter Cantata! Friday and Saturday, 8pm @ Flamingo... come! --- CF today. Communion. Sharing. Farewell. Will I cry? Will I make people cry? Haha. Playing keyboard... Argh. Help? --- Valid expectations? No, maybe not. --- Thank You, God. Because of, and despite, everything. --- I have too many things on my mind. Listening to: mighty is the power of the cross |
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Am singing. Am also singing on Sunday morning. Have to go borrow a red shirt.April 12th, 2006
POSTED AT 11:42 PM Father, These are hands full of hopes and dreams, of expectations and anticipations. These hands are full of everything dashed. Broken. Take them; I lay them at your feet. Father, These hands are full of hurts and pain. These hands are full of tears. Spilled. Take them; I lay them at your feet. Father, Father, These hands are empty. Fill them with what you will. |
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April 14th, 2006
=) POSTED AT 05:15 PM Have a wonderfully meaningful Good Friday. Watch the fireplace near you. Soon. |
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April 16th, 2006
happy easter! POSTED AT 06:08 PM He lives! =) Due to unforeseen circumstances, stop watching the fireplace near you. Haha. It's been a wonderful weekend, albeit also wonderfully tiring. The Cantata was superb. Haha. I think. Exam week: 25 April - 29 April On other matters, I'm thinking of stopping by at Canaanland before the Easter sale ends. Wants to buy Blue Like Jazz and some CD. Any recommendations? Listening to: Take My Life - Passion Worship Band Feeling: happy |
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Conductor's cutes. Hehes. Oh yes, back to the topic, looks like I haven't had the time to write. Intensive study week's coming up, and I'll be trying to NOT be online. We'll see.April 19th, 2006
suicidal? POSTED AT 12:24 PM I's feels stupits. I's feels likes dyings. Yeah. I'm going suicidal on chili and chili substitutes. Searching out the hottest cili padi and sambal belachans and other chili / curry products. Since I don't have to "jaga" my voice anymore. Not only my taste buds dying... my stomach also going. Haha. So's I shall indulge in some pep talk. I AM BRILLIANT. I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING IN MY TEXT BOOK. I'M SO SMART THAT I'LL SCORE IN THIS EXAM! I HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO FINISH ALL MY SYLLABUS!! I CAN PASS WITHOUT RELYING ON TIPS! I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME! I AM GOING TO STUDY!!! BYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE (do I look like I need help? do I? do I? Haha... Releasing stress ler. Muahahahahaha) |
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April 23rd, 2006
flight POSTED AT 12:41 AM in thoughts Dance Were you waiting? Swirls --- "You named him." She stared at him a while. --- Ursula Le Guin rocks. Majorly. --- Hasty flights of fancy But I'd sooner fly I'd watch you walking But I wish I could stay Make me land-bound --- Without the basis of the Word, where is love? Reading: ACR notes Listening to: peter pan Feeling: tired |
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April 23rd, 2006
April 24th, 2006
uh-oh POSTED AT 09:38 PM I was almost chauvinistic today. Was behind this slow, unsteady driver. Found myself thinking, "stupid woman driver." *blink* eh wait... I'm also woman driver. "Right... stupid 'P' driver." LOL First paper tomorrow. I think I'm prepared. Covered everything in the syllabus, looking through tutorials now. How much I actually know is a moot question though. Heh. Oh wells! |
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April 27th, 2006
Penang POSTED AT 07:30 PM in thoughts They asked if I will stay here (in KL). I said no, but jokingly added if that I found a boyfriend here I might. No boyfriend has appeared on the horizon. But I take it back anyway. Even if I found one, I would still return. Pastor Ong said the other day that being in the right place is also important for you to receive the full blessing and promise that God has for you. I do not believe my place is in KL. There is no call or inclination to stay here at all. My dreams of the future are filled with my island of birth. I dream of drama and dance, of life, of words written and spoken, built up where my heart calls home. I loved SIB. I love Metro. But FGAC Penang and the Fasollado's call me still. D2 will be re-birthed. Bringing LIFE to the WORD. My date of departure has been set at May 12, 2006. In the meanwhile, I have one final paper to cry over and two final booksales to splurge on. And a music video to think about with Yuin. Reading: strategic business planning and development text Listening to: Bethany Dillon Watching: the clock Feeling: numb |
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April 30th, 2006
whee!!! POSTED AT 04:58 PM I AM SO SO SO SO HAPPY AND BROKE. As of now, I have rm7 in my wallet and rm 51 in my bank. I have spent rm68 at Canaanland for a cd and a book, and rm33.50 today for roughly 9 books. Woohoo!! So funs! [edit] FIREPLACED. Not on the list? Give me ya e-mails. Reading: don't know where to start yet Listening to: Adam Watts - noise inside Feeling: happy happy happy |
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