Anniversary
POSTED AT 10:37 PM

natanna

It has been a full year.

Happy anniversary to me.

I don't know how this matters, but... yeah. I wonder how long more I'll stick around. To think I made the promotions list in less than a year.

Here's to another year at any rate.

Cheers.

thoughts
POSTED AT 11:11 PM in thoughts

natanna

Am I trying too hard where it matters the least and trying too little where it matters the most?

Yet again another rut! But we need vision and passion and action. I have too blur a vision, too timid a passion and too apathetic an action.

It's lining up and yet it's falling apart for lack of attention, for lack of thought and for lack of resilience. Slap me, someone.

You've given too much. These hands are too weak and too small to hold it all. Give me a heart big enough; lead me to hands who will hold it with me.

Hands to hold.

Hands to support.

If only. 

busy weekends
POSTED AT 04:43 PM

natanna

This has been (still is) one of those "BAH, HUMBUG!" weekends.

First, we had a farewell for Evelyn (my mentor senior) who's going to USA on secondment. Discovered that I have to clear a file with a manager by Monday. Yeeessshhh... She didn't even tell me. I'm like... ?!?!?!?!?! Hai... if my colleague hadn't told me... I wouldn't have bothered. Less stress. Hahah.

Then my vox teacher cancelled on me because she's still down with the flu, so I took Jo out. And I have a box of Wonka's Nerds! Whee! Thankies Jo!

Got back home past 5... had to leave by 6... *yawn yawn yawn* Saturday night service... sound man came late... no projector person... therefore no time to practice properly... BUT service was still good.

Woke up super duper early to get my file from the office and tried to check my office e-mail there but the stupid network wouldn't connect!! Yeesh. Then waited for Elena near the Penang State Mosque while she got lost in Georgetown. Haha. The BM service took over today, and they were amazing. Very passionate... energetic... lively... Makes such a big difference from our normal lethargic Sunday mornings. Tambourines with the kids... Hehe... I now know a grand total of 3 steps! Progress!

Then we had a briefing for the OA mission exposure trip on Aug 18. Have to think of a skit. Preferably either mime-ish... or in BM. :S What laaaaa.... Help? 

And now... I looked through the file... and I think I need to go back to the office after all anyway. =/

HARLO. I DON'T WORK SUNDAYS. NOT UNLESS YOU PAY ME OT!!!  

*Sigh* Life.

I feel like I haven't written anything purposeful in a really long time.

But if you really feel like reading something, go drop by my fictionpress and read my new *stupid* script that I did for Script Frenzy. 

I am so over using smileys today, aren't I?

Anyway, gotta go office soon.

SIGH 

Complexity and Simplicity
POSTED AT 12:04 AM in thoughts

natanna

I have been trying (marginally) to think of a short, simple skit for the coming mission exposure. Marginally, because I don't really have time to think, and when I do have time, I'm distracted and / or lazy. (No good. Someone please slap me.)

It struck me that I've become so used to doing (or trying to do) the bigger things and the complex things and the artsy-fartsy drama-fied things that I can't really put my brain around the concept of a simple Sunday-school type skit. A simple, Sunday-school type skit where you can be lame and dumb and totally inartistic, where you can have really bad actors and really bad lines and it doesn't matter because no one's going to care as long as you get the message across.

But doing the simple things well is a very complex job! I think it takes more effort to come up with this simple, easy to understand lines and simple, easy to do actions so that any Tom-Dick-and-Harry can act and any makcik-pakcik-and-kanak-kanak can understand the skit... than to do some... of the other stuff I write. Haha. 

Or maybe my brain's just wired weirdly. 

Bleh.

It's shut-down time. You know how crappy I become.

The simple thing to do, would be to do a parable. I wonder how that will work. 

yay-ness!
POSTED AT 11:11 PM

natanna

I'm currently blogging this from my mother's room, stretched out on the bed, on my brand new Dell Latitude D620.

Office sponsored, of course.

I can only say, "It has to be God."

My seniors are jealous because they didn't get a new laptop when they were promoted.

I'm happy because not only do I have a new laptop, it came with a mouse... and a backpack! Whee. And I now have a table to call my own... with an extension number! Woohoo.

Sorry, the little things in life really make me happy.

appearances
POSTED AT 11:57 PM

natanna

The client's finance people treated us to lunch today. Buffet lunch at Tao, Autocity. During lunch, they were trying to guess our ages... or at least who was older than who. There are 6 of us in the current team: M, our senior, K & me are A1s, and R, H and C are A2s (according to rank). For some reason, they said that I should be the second oldest, besides M, whom as the senior, was assumed to be the oldest. (I think they sort of knew her age anyway.) Next they said should be K and H, then the youngest probably either C or R.

I was like... WHAT? Do I look that old?!?

I still haven't decided if I should be happy that I look mature (professional-looking, maybe?) or if I should be sad that I look old.

Our actual age range goes like this, from oldest to youngest:

1. M (not sure what year)
2. R & H ('82)
3. K & C ('83)
4. ME

I AM SOOOOO THE YOUNGEST, OKAY?!?

JUBILEE
POSTED AT 04:27 PM

natanna

Another weekend is passing me by. *Sob sob* And it looks like an even busier week next week. I'll be travelling to SP every day!

Anyway, for lack of blogging material (nothing much to say at the moment, would really rather want to sleep. Haha) you'll have to make do with a little picture. If I can manage to upload it. It's on my desktop. And you're all invited to come.

I don't know if it's the internet or if it's my laptop, but the stupid thing is really loading very slowly. Bleh.

Oh oh oh... it's finally loading properly. Hehe.

Shoot. Now I can't go back and re-edit the size. Yeesh. What on earth is happening here? Weirdness is happening. But I'm too lethargic to be bothered now.

So yes, my final words for this post....

SEE YOU THERE!

 

Addicted?
POSTED AT 10:35 PM

natanna

Apparently... I'm not as addicted as I thought!

62%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle² - Dating Site

Check it out here.

I'm on holiday!
POSTED AT 04:31 PM

natanna

Hi... I'm updating this from my cousin's house in PJ. I'm on a week's leave (whee) and it's so difficult trying to meet everybody within this short span of time. Sigh. I met up with Unc Ju already

Anyway, I have desperate friends. Haha. Let's hope this works. Tabulas seems to have changed the "upload images" stuff and I don't have the inclination to work things out now. So:

 

Yay, it works. Haha.

I wish I brought something along to read. Everyone else is watching Mr Bean's holiday... I HATE MR BEAN.

Haha.

Ok. I shall go find something to do. Maybe I'll just KoL or something.

Tata. 

scrambled schedules and the such
POSTED AT 02:46 PM

natanna

As Dih Haw was mentioning that my entries were getting more and more abstract, this shall be a purely informational entry on what I've been doing the past week.

Monday:

Reached KL in the evening. Managed to get in touch with some people. Went to sleep.

Tuesday:

Got a 15-ringgit-15-minutes haircut. Finally got my baju for Merdeka High praise at Midvalley Megamall. Met up with Unc Julian... had a good talk over Nando's about life, drama and church - and why white and black cars are hard to maintain. Managed to have dinner with Jong Chern, Hon Yau, Jo and Yong May at Paddingtons, the Curve. Edrian couldn't make it cos of work. Poor thing *shakes head*. Discovered that I have a deep-seated longing to work in the Star. (LOL)

Wednesday:

Dropped by at my uncle's clinic for another scan. =/

Took the LRT down to Setapak and dropped by at JR house while waiting for Rowen to finish his assignment. Disappointed Loren by not taking him out for lunch. (hahahahahahaha) Thought that Edwin was a girl. Finally collected my Adv. Dip cert. Met some guy there who was collecting his cert after FIVE years. (And I thought my ONE year delay was bad). Lunched with Rowen and then dropped by at the Metro Tab office for a brief chat with Aunty Esther. Headed off back to Wangsa Maju where I met up with Ivan Cheong for a drink at Ipoh Town (coffee shop). Then made my way to KLCC with Dih Haw to drop by at Canaanland where I bought Good Monsters - Jars of Clay, 4score and 7 years - Relient K and Who You Are - Desperation Band. It was overkill, of course. But I was tempted. Heh. Had dinner with my uncle and family and then killed time waiting for Wai Nyan by watching The Tigger Movie.

So, supper with Wai Nyan, and that was my extremely long Wednesday. *phew*

Thursday:

Trip back to Penang... worship practice... and an extremely long session of brainstorming with Oliver about the musical.

Friday:

Drove Deb around... finally collected my FD cert... and registered as a voter. Said good bye to Deb... and watched Ratatuoille (I actually don't know how to spell that blasted thing... aih who cares) with Yuin and Tim. at Queens. For some reason I kept thinking it was at Gurney. Yeeeesssshhhh *slaps self more*

And that was my one-week long holiday. It's over.  

Another busy-ish weekend, and it's back to work on Monday! Oh well.

Y'know.... I realised... just because I didn't manage to meet up with Jasmine who's like... stuck in Sg Long... I feel like everyone I met up with (except Jo) was a guy. Hahahahahaha. Not my fault. Jayne fell sick and Sharon couldn't make it.

 

Listening to: Good Monsters - Jars of Clay

Oh.
POSTED AT 02:43 PM

natanna

I have an interesting observation to make.

Chocolate doesn't seem so important in the big scheme of things anymore. My brother passed me a Lindt about an hour ago... and I just realised that it's still sitting in front of me, unopened. Wow. Either I have lots of self-control... Or I'm just too caught up in figuring out this payperpost thing... and trying to finish an e-mail as well as start scripting that I just. plain. forgot. about it.

IS it possible to forget about chocolate?

Apparently, yes.

Well. It's yummily down my throat now. So. Oh well.

--- 

So the thing I was trying to figure out was this:

Ivan was doing it... and then Rays... I don't know if I will. It seems kind of... strange. Well. We'll see. What say you?

The most apparent black mark is that to be eligible to post anything at all, you must either be from the USA or lie to say that you're in the USA. So. I might as well just sign up at Nuffnang. Which I haven't. Should I? (And Tim would say yes. Haha)

---

Ok. Back to writing my e-mail. 

Toodle-doo and TTFN.  

randomness
POSTED AT 11:30 PM

natanna

It's 11.07 pm.

I just came back from watching Rush Hour 3, which was both hilarious and stupid at the same time. The bloopers are the best, really.

I just turned on my computer, but am wondering if I should just go to sleep.

Two Towers is on teevee, but I'm too lazy to watch it.

I've just been told that I'm only 16. Happiness.

I have just heard news that I can't tell.

I feel a little like a stalker tonight.

It's 11.30 pm.

Good night. 

backups
POSTED AT 11:29 AM

natanna

Sometimes you just feel like a total noob in computing. And then the computer crashes, along with your data. Bummer. So your techie friends ask you to save your stuff online.

So I thought.... online storage? Hmm... Let's take a look.

Ibackup seems to have it all worked out. Apparently. In ways that will seem even non-threatening to… well, you. I mean, who can resist cool buttons like these?

Or the fact that you can make it look just like any other folder in your computer. Hooray for convenience!

As usual, cost is another factor, right? Well, it doesn’t seem that expensive. $9.95 a month for 5 GB. Kind of reminds you of Jackie Chan’s “Let’s watch a dirty movie… only 9.95” in Rush Hour 3.

Oh well.

(This post sponsored by IBackup) 

succumbed
POSTED AT 01:30 PM

natanna

So... I have finally succumbed.

Bleh. It's the middle of my lunch break, and I've finished lunch, and I don't know what to do with myself for the rest of lunch. Hm. Another 15 mins to go.

Or for the rest of the day, for that matter. Stupid briefing at 5.30 will totally not allow me to go home early though. Sigh.

---

So what does this really mean to you? How does it matter?

I don't know. It shouldn't really matter, but it does. It's like a safety net, or crutch of sorts, has been taken away. It's like suddenly, something major has changed, but I don't know how it has changed. Whatever it is, it's changed, and I don't like change.

Wasn't it inevitable anyway?

Yes, I suppose it was. But not this way, not this suddenly. Definitely not in this span of time. Later. Some time. Some day. I guess... well.

What happens next?

I don't know. That's his prerogative.

What are you going to do?

Shrug and carry on with life. Life happens. You may or may not like it, but you can't control everything no matter how much you would like to.

You seriously believe that?

I try. It's a way of handling the panic attacks.

Panic attacks?

You didn't know? I'm seriously manic. Most times. Especially when I feel I'm losing control.

Ah, a control freak.

Yes. Didn't you know?

---

[enter speechless expression]

[enter sarcastic remark]

I wish I could be more verbal. But now is not the time, here is not the place. I wish I could be less obvious, at least to myself. But somehow, I just resonate with your density, real or fake. I have said it before, I will say it again. There are things better left unspoken. Therefore:

.........................................................................................................................................................................

---

If he were building an empire to himself, he would not leave it so honourably, so gently, or so meekly.

Let us leave it at that.

---

And lunch is over.

MERDEKA!
POSTED AT 09:06 AM

natanna

I dunno. I'm not feeling it, but MERDEKA!

Thinking of a fireplace. If I get round to it. Have to have to have to get back to writing seriously again. Haha. I'm such a slacker.

---

.........................
..................................
.......................
.......................................................................

Things I want to say, but I can't. I said I'd take it slow, but my thoughts jump ahead too fast. I'm impatient and I know I'm being stupid. Dense and Tense. Make sense?

I can't say it because I don't know how to put it into words. Yes, I'm tongue-tied, because the words won't come out, and when they do they don't make sense. I have miscellaneous words hanging around in my brain, but they don't form sentences.

Unfortunately, they don't even form poetry.

This sucks.