Entries for September, 2007
September 4th, 2007
of stories POSTED AT 08:39 PM in thoughts I have not yet found my story I stand on another precipice I have not yet found my story Listening to: robbie seays band talk to me!
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September 5th, 2007
ID POSTED AT 11:53 PM in thoughts The question really is: have you let that become your identity? Is that how you have defined who you are, and what you do? Has it been the rationale behind all the things you do or do not do? So now all that is changing, where do you stand? --- The other question is: how will this practically or feasibly affect my ministry and what I do? Will there be repercussions? Will there be more difficulty, or less, or even different difficulties? Will I still have the support I need in birthing this ministry? --- So Josh says: "im going to knock down walls, so you're going to pray until jesus comes." And I go: "hehehe... ok" Do we really live up to our namesakes in the Bible? Do the names we carry define our lives or our spiritual gifts? --- And so this is another Haggai month. Whee. =) Read: Haggai 2:18-19 |
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September 8th, 2007
What am I doing? POSTED AT 10:50 AM Well, it started off with Ivan Cheong signing up. The next one (that I noticed anyway) was Raymond. Maybe because I like the way Rays writes better, I actually took more notice of it. Or maybe because he posted more than Ivan anyway. Then I thought well, I like writing, and I'm doing free adverts (sort of) for my friends anyway. Why not check it out and see where it brings me? Signing up at PayPerPost was easy enough. I've been here... for something like a few weeks, and am still working out the kinks on how to actually post and earn something! The benefit of blog advertising really... is that it makes Ray post more often (Haha, just joking.) Well, earning money is cool and it will probably allow me to buy books and CDs online (whee) and not worry about the exchange rate (double whee!). It's also a challenge. How well can you write an advert (it really is an advert) without making it sound SO corny, and SO noticeable that I'm plugging a product? (Can you tell that this is a sponsored content?) Just another day in the life of a wannabe writer! Maybe one day... I'll get so good at this... that I can make it a full time job. I heard on Mix that they're looking for copywriters. Hmm... I wonder... Listening to: ocean of fire! |
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September 8th, 2007
ARGH POSTED AT 12:53 PM I SO obviously only pay for packaging. Discovered that my almost new Michael Buble CD is cracked! Noooooo I blame the stupid packaging... cos that thingy that holds the CD is so tight... The last I heard the CD... I put it back... now I opened it again... and it's cracked!?!?!?!?! *cry cry cry cry* Stupid 35 bucks down the drain. I'm so gonna get a pirated version. At least I can say I paid for the packaging. The cover & booklet is nice. But the music is going to sound the same coming from the ori CD or from the pirated ANYWAY. [Insert super frustrated message.] Yeeeeessshhhhh. Listening to: Corrinne May |
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September 8th, 2007
... POSTED AT 01:37 PM rant rant rant rant rant rant rant This has not been a good day. My baby's sick! McPhee's on her first official MC! *cry* |
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September 9th, 2007
Your story POSTED AT 11:26 PM in thoughts *words in italic are lyrics from the song Work by Jars of Clay and can be found in the album Good Monsters. ---
Just in case, I will leave my things packed “What is this really about?” She looked away. “Honestly. Please.” She bit her lip. “I can’t deal. The words aren’t coming. The ideas can’t and won’t gel.” “Throw it away.” “And then? What next? I can’t produce. I’m dry.” He caught hold of her arm. “Why are you still running?” “I am not. I mean, I am trying not… Fine. I’m running. Satisfied?”
I cannot trust these voices “Talk to me.” His were pleading eyes. “About what?” Frustration. Fear. And finally, tears. “It’s too hard. I’m not made for this.” “But it’s who you were meant to be.” “Oh, and you know all about that.” Gentle fingers, caressing her chin. Tilting. His eyes pierced hers. “I do.”
I have no fear of drowning
“What do I do?” “Breathe. Relax.” “Can’t. It’s swirling. Around, around. Thoughts. Ideas. Emotions. But it won’t gel. It just won’t come out.” “What do you really want to say?” “I don’t want to say anything. I just… want…” Her voice trailed. Her eyes closed. Her fingers dug tightly into his arms. “I just want to make them feel.” “Then let them.” “But I can’t. I don’t know how. It’s just not working.”
Do you know what I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"?
She leaned against him, eyes closed. “Is it because of him?” She hesitated. Then slowly, she nodded. “You can’t let it go because that’s what he wants.” She bit her lip. Bit her little finger. “It’s not just that…” “But it is a part.” “Yes…”
Empty spaces with shadows hit by streetlights
“So you’ll keep milking an idea dry just because he thinks it will work?” “I don’t know! I keep playing with variations. With more and more words. But nothing seems to fit.” “Maybe it isn’t your story to tell.” “Then what is?” “You’re tired.” “I am. I’m tired of caring and not knowing. I don’t know why I’m doing this. ‘Just because’ isn’t justification enough. There needs to be a reason stronger than that. I don’t want to build a ministry based on just the desire to perform. It has to be a stronger reason. There has to be something more substantial behind this art. If not, what’s the point? It will just be like everything else.” “So this is justification to carry on trying to build on a tired idea?” “No! It’s just that I have nothing else. Nothing else. To offer.”
Now all the demons look like prophets and I'm living out
She paced the room, feeling his eyes on her every move. “So tell me. What is my story to tell?” A half-smile played on his face. “This.” “This?” Her hand swept out. “What is this? This is nothingness. This is emptiness. My desert.” “I know.” “What is there to tell?” “That I am here.”
Do you know what I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"? “That you… are…” she echoed hollowly. “And that you will be too. If they should need you.” “But I sometimes wish…” “That he would be?” Shyly, she turned away.
Do you know what I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"? “I know. My thoughts run too far. I thought… finally… but no.” He held her close. “Will it, Konig? Will it be?” Frantic. Too frantic. Pleading. Hoping. Wanting. But he was silent.
I have no fear of drowning
“Do you really need him?” after an aeon of silence. “I… no. I would compromise. Our worlds are too far apart. The story matters most. And his story isn’t mine to tell. I couldn’t write it.” “But could you write your own?” “I don’t know what to write.” “Be her, my dear. Who you were meant to be.” “Sometimes, I don’t think I even know…” “But you do. You dream it. Just stop being afraid.” “I have not strength enough…” “Too weak to hold, yes, you’ve told me.” “The path is not…” “Defined enough? Who said you were to track the beaten path?” “She said they’re not ready.” “They’ll be as ready as you are.” “I don’t know. I just don’t know!” “You don’t need to. You just need to feel. And write. That’s all that matters. Let me handle the rest. They will be ready. As ready as you are to bare your soul, so they will be. I promise.” “But I am not ready.” “My dear, you are.” “I don’t feel enough.” He threw back his head and laughed. “And what are you doing now? What do you scribble out all day? What do you always wish you could articulate better?” “But I couldn’t write…” “Throw it away.” “But he…” she stopped. “It really doesn’t matter, does it? I really wouldn’t know how to tell him.” “Just write. Let the story speak for itself.” “Alright.” “Just let it flow.” And she smiled. Listening to: miss texas - shaun groves |
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September 11th, 2007
shorts... POSTED AT 09:13 PM Heard of KLPac? Well... Penpac's coming. Double whee and triple yay! It will take a while yet though. So in the meantime... *sigh* I do do do do do hope that it won't be too expensive to rent, or too difficult to obtain. --- It's tempting really to ask... so who's side are you on? But it isn't a matter of sides. It's just a matter of moving on. --- I think... it really sucks... that I have to go back to the office to use the office e-mail. Alright, it prolly makes sense, but... Or maybe I'm just too noob to know how to configure it to connect to the laptop. --- AM trying to make things move! But I need to start with my own lazy bum first. Haha. |
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September 13th, 2007
nut jobs POSTED AT 10:47 PM I think my church has some spiritual neon sign that says "All weirdos, please walk in here". We were in the middle of worship practice when some old woman comes and sits at the back of the hall... in the dark. At first it seems okay... then SHE STARTS TALKING TO HERSELF. Gah. --- You may wonder... why the earlier post... seems to be a repost. It is. Because the first one faced some stupid URL error. So I got them to fix it ---
* sourced from The Star. Anyone interested? I am. |
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September 15th, 2007
MIME workshop - Uli Gotleib! POSTED AT 06:17 PM
As usual, time for some shameless plugging. And no, this is NOT sponsored. Who wants to sign up with me? =) |
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September 19th, 2007
September 20th, 2007
more thoughts POSTED AT 09:59 PM in thoughts So are you holding on to this merely because you think that it may be the fulfillment of a promise? --- I wonder how they could even think that. So far out of my league, and never coming back. --- Does it all fit together, you think? Because it sure doesn't look as good on paper as it does in your imagination. --- Lucky him. I could almost be jealous. I wish. --- Why have we lost so many of them to ghey-ness? Will they ever come back, you think? Were they "forced" into it, or did they just drift there, from natural affinity and people's expectations? --- Don't you dare turn out that way too. --- Hah... the addiction quota went up, I think. Blame it on the "freer" nights and the creeping boredom with work. 75%Free Online Dating from JustSayHi --- I've only got two questions now. 1) What on earth is Caleb's role in the story? 2) What on earth did Rebekah do that was so unforgivable? |
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September 24th, 2007
Aheeeemmmmmm..... POSTED AT 12:25 AM One year older, one year wiser? Hmmmmm.... We shall see. Happy birthday, me! Oh, the perasanness of it all... but WOI, where's my PREZZZIIIIEEESSSSS..... :p --- One more day to be a child --- If. Only. |
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September 25th, 2007
holidays POSTED AT 11:56 PM We live in a world of choices. Planning on a holiday? You could try tropical holidays, beach holidays, even spa holidays – and what about just taking in the city sights? Even choosing a flight is difficult nowadays. You could go Economy class or treat yourself to business class flights. And then there are the budget airlines. You can book manually, through an agent, over the phone, or even online. Choices, choices and more choices. Well, you could also check out using Dialaflight to plan your weekend breaks. With travel information ranging from flights, hotel arrangements to car rental, you can easily plan your break in the blink of an eye!
[A Dialaflight sponsored post] |
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September 26th, 2007
Many thanks... POSTED AT 12:09 AM Doreen. Heng Foh from Kampar! Ee Laine. Macy. Eli. Jimmy. Jiaps. Koren. Wai Yi. KK. Deb. Bryan all the way from Bangkok! Pei Ling. Dan Tay. Oliver & Wei-Ling, even if I had to tell them first. Wen Fang (how did you even know?). Evelyn. TYY aka Fishball. Willy. Steven Tang. Euodia. Khay Xin. Chun Chun. Oh and right here, Bernard and Yong May. Lex. It's not too late. Hehe. Dih Haw and Jasmine. Of course, Yuin. Hairspray! New job! Whee... And Josh. Yes, we're getting old. *sigh* I had TGIF's and a good sleep. That's all. Kind of quiet this year, eh? OH. And I finally got my credit card. *Wants to go splurge on books* |
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September 26th, 2007
dream love? POSTED AT 09:16 PM Heh. I wonder...
Smart and sensitive sounds like a great combination. Muahahaha.
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September 30th, 2007
hmm POSTED AT 10:17 PM I wanted to update this much earlier. But it's been a busy week... and busier weekend. Next week looks like a good week - training week - so hopefully I can get some *serious* writing done. Because it's sorely overdue, and too much stuff accumulating in my brain is not good. I'm sure you miss me too. Well....... for now... back to wasting time. hehe. Your Score: hyphenYou scored 46% Sociability and 52% Sophistication! You are comfortable around others. While you don't have to go out every night, yet you take pride in being easy to get along with. This should not, however, be misconstrued as believing (as many do) that you are without subtlety. In fact, you have the power to inform the anal retentive that, indeed, they are discussing an anal-retentive issue. Who else can do that? Quotation marks intimidate you a little bit.
--- FINE. All I can say is that it was an apparently MIS-calculated risk. |
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