Entries for November, 2007
November 4th, 2007
pondering ponderer POSTED AT 12:42 AM in thoughts I suppose the thing that has been worrying me suddenly is the possibility of any repercussions or carry overs that may appear when I'm the only target left. Will there be? I suppose not. We're all matured people here. I think. Sometimes when you listen long enough, it doesn't feel that way. I would rather not know, really. Knowledge can be damaging. The one thing that really keeps me sane in office is not understanding half the politics that's happening because it's all carried out in Hokkien. I don't need to know, I don't want to know. People do ask if there's any office politics where I work. I honestly and truly tell them that I don't know. I assume there is, because there usually is, but as I'm one of the most outdated people in the office, it doesn't really matter. The issue has probably blown over by the time I hear about it. One, I mind my own business. Two, by the time I understand half of what they're saying, I've already lost the thread of the conversation and forgotten who it was they were talking about. Brain surgery is necessary to revive what's left of my creative juices. It's not working and it won't work. It's not happening and it won't happen. For one, there won't be enough time as it is because I'm too busy and distracted. For the other, my heart isn't in it anymore. There have been too many things happening, and depression isn't the worst of it. I don't know if I have it all wrong, but sometimes I doubt if I'm in the right place. If I were, would this be happening? I might have been happier. Somewhere. But leaving doesn't seem to be an option, and disappearing will take much more work and effort than it used to! The idea of relocating seems to be getting more interesting, except that here's where my heart's at. At the moment. I don't know. I couldn't be sure. I don't doubt my faith. I've settled with that. I just doubt the way it's carried out and the necessity of the baggage I carry along. I don't even know if the baggage is mine, or someone else's, but it's there for the journey and it's awfully hard to pack. I should be answering your e-mail, but I have issue-avoidance tendencies, so you'll just have to wait until I've settled with myself first and can read you with a clear, lucid and unprejudiced mind. If only dialogue could be carried out in bite-size pieces with word limits, I'd feel safer and more secure. As it is, it's bludgeoned into a long, lengthy piece of work that will take me ages to digest and not get upset for the sake of being upset. I don't even know where I stand on half the issues. I'm tired of over-thinking but it seems to me that I haven't thought hard enough at all. And this has been a totally unrelated post. Don't try to make it coherent. Because it isn't unless you can follow brownian movement with ease. Is that even right? I don't think so. I think I'll stick to jigsaws. I should do an advert soon. talk to me!
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November 4th, 2007
the truth POSTED AT 12:48 AM in thoughts "How are you?" they ask, I'm not okay. I've hit a wall, I'm in depression, I don't really care anymore. I don't like the way you won't say what I want you to say. I don't like the way I feel at this point of time. I don't like the way things are turning out. Stuff is piling up and I'm drowning. I'm not okay because I'm swamped and it's probably all my fault. This isn't how it's supposed to be. If you could dig me a hole in the ground, I'd gladly drop there, out of sight, out of mind. I wish I could be an ostrich so I can hide my face in the ground. This is crazy. What's wrong with me? But you answer, "I'm fine.
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November 4th, 2007
Fix me up! POSTED AT 09:23 PM Is thin still in? Maybe I’ve been fortunately blessed to have a slim figure (with no extra effort) but at 23 I’m beginning to get some “womanly curves”. (No, I’m not fat.) But I’m putting on weight. I blame it on work. The article “Does this girl need lipo?” from the Sunday Times puts it nicely – you don’t really need it. Liposuction is so largely overrated, and so is the thinness that people think you should have. The surgeon at MYA seems to have it right. “But the point is not whether or not we can get it, but whether or not we should,” was the writer’s final conclusion, and I agree. (this is a sponsored post.) |
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November 4th, 2007
Itinerary! [final edit] POSTED AT 09:54 PM Okays. Let's get this down so we can sort out our schedules! WED 8am: Bus leaves Penang... 1pm: I should be in KL by now!! 1.30pm: The latest by which I should reach Setapak. ( Afternoon: Canaanland run Dinner: Wai Nyan Supper: Mali's with FAY. THURS Morning: BKT at Klang with Jo and Trix Lunch (Approx twelve-ish?): Midvalley with Julian, Jayne, Jasmine & Dih & Jo I guess?. Note: to confirm time, and to ask if Soon Wei wants to join. To find out how on earth I'm reaching Midv!!! Afternoon: I NEED TO BUY COURT SHOES. Shopping with Jo, Jas & Dih Haw Evening: Dinner with Solo FRI Lunch: Near Star with Pei Ling, Dinner: I need to fit in my King's tomyam here!! Who's game? Evening: should I go to CG? lol Night: Alexis! SAT Morning: Take the bus home! (Someone drop me at the LRT? Or Pudu if you're kind UH... I don't know if I've neglected to meet up with anyone? Or do anything? WEN PING. When am I meeting you? Friday? Everything else to be settled by phone. |
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To meet Wai Nyan at Taman Bahagia station
) November 4th, 2007
Urban Art & Music Fest POSTED AT 10:32 PM Happy Saturday!
--- Sorry, I copied this off a Friendster bulletin. Forgive the weird spacing and capitalization. But I felt this needed more publicity. Spread the word, Penang! |
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November 4th, 2007
Behind closed doors POSTED AT 10:46 PM You know the stuff that piles up in your garage? (If you have one, that is) Sometimes, you really just want to hide everything behind those things called doors. Yeah. Cabinet doors. Those would be nice. Just get him some of those garage cabinets that will keep everything neat and tidy, spick and span. |
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November 10th, 2007
and I'm back! POSTED AT 10:40 PM To all the people I managed to meet... thank you, it was fun hanging out with you. To all the people I didn't manage to meet... I'm sorry. Give me a call next time you're in Penang. To the JRians... I love you guys and your hospitality! Sorry for always stealing your keys I'm dead tired. My bus this morning was delayed, and apparently I'm very fortunate to have left because Wai Nyan says that other later buses were stuck as police closed the roads to KL. It was a good, tiring trip, and I have no leave left to take. Bummer. Erm. Sorry, no pics at the moment (I think I'm really not a picture person) but I'll wait for Sam's photos! I don't think I took any other photos actually... Oh wait. Jo has pictures of bak kut teh. I came back and slept from 5-ish to about 8. I think I'm going back to sleep now. Soon. |
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November 14th, 2007
stupid telemarketers POSTED AT 09:15 PM I had this strange phone call today. She goes like, "Hi, is this Anna?" So I said yes... and then she starts into this whole spiel about they're giving me a free two nights stay at some hotel... dunno what dunno what benefits... bla bla bla bla bla... For so long. After quite a long while, she finally gets to the point where she says that this is all available if I sign up for some membership card and something to do with Sheraton. I'm wondering... does Sheraton have a membership card? How on earth did they get my number? I get round to asking her in between her long bouts of "promotions and benefits" and she says one of my friends who joined the thingy has recommended me to join as well, but she never says who. I actually let her go on and on about the whole programme... interspersing with an occasional "hmm... oh... ah..." then I tell her, I think I'm not interested at the moment. Hahahaha... So she goes into her extra push kind of thing saying it's very good, very cheap, very bla bla bla... you can bring your boyfriend... your mom your dad your whatever... tell me why you don't want it... we can sort it out now... I'm busy laughing to myself as she goes on and on and on. In the end, I said, I don't think so la. I'm not interested and cut off the phone in the middle of her "why..." Felt a bit bad... But anyway! If she had said right off 'I'm trying to sell you a membership card' instead of making me wonder if I'm being scammed (if anyone ever tells me I'm eligible for something when I haven't signed up for anything I automatically think it's a scam) I might have felt like considering. Not that I take to holiday packages anyway, because I don't GO anywhere anyhow. (She said when you go on holiday, Christmas, New Year, etc.. I was thinking... HAH! When can I even get leave!??!) Hehe... Anyway, I'm up to about 12k words which is super way behind seeing it's already the 14th! Argh! Must work harder. Yeah, so back to writing. |
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November 15th, 2007
blog - stop. POSTED AT 09:40 PM I've reached 17 k words on my nanowrimo novel! Whoo hoo! I'm still behind the target though. Argh. But... I will get there! I hope to reach at LEAST 20k by tonight. It looks vaguely possible so I'll try not to distract myself here. Celebrate with me! Yay! Funny, I thought I had something to share when I logged on, but apparently not. I can't think of anything any more. Oh yes, and some KL pics are up on facebook, courtesy of Jo and her camera. Lols. --- I remembered. I wanted to randomly comment that my room is suddenly very bright. The light blew a few nights ago (I think it was Tuesday) and it just got replaced today. It's very bright. And yes, quote for the day:
Hm. I believe it, I do. |
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November 17th, 2007
dance / dunce POSTED AT 04:59 PM The problem is... I have this gestation period of about a few weeks. And by the time the few weeks are over, I've all but given up.
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November 18th, 2007
random entry POSTED AT 10:19 PM Nothing interesting to ad about. Sigh. Oh well. I'm currently somewhere at about 24k words already, and aiming to reach 30k by tonight (to catch up to the actual target) but I don't think I can, seeing that I'm already sleepy and running out of ideas! This is so so so much harder than I thought. Err. Not really. I knew it was hard. I just like to whine. Haha. My story's really random, and unless I really like you I don't think I'll let you read it. It's just too weird. Haha. Alright, back to work. Life wise, I'm still alive, so don't go asking me how I am. You'll get my standard answer. Nothing much to say at the moment. I just felt that I needed to update this blog. Also, I'm stuck. So, taking a break. Haha. |
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November 22nd, 2007
undue stress POSTED AT 10:59 PM Let me explain to you undue stress. Undue stress is when your manager allocates you and your team to a two week's job, and then slowly releases you (and only you) to other managers for other jobs until you only have 4 days left. As compared to the 10 days that everyone else has. For the same amount of work (each person handles one file with an assistant). And you still have to handle the whole file, as in, you're the in-charge. And there is no previous year's file for you to refer to because it's a new client. Added to that, there are lots of stuff that you don't really know how to do yet because it's like your first or maybe second time even looking at the section. And like I said, there's nothing to refer to. Oh yes, and let's not forget the fact that the client providing you info is the same client providing some of the others info too, so you have to WAIT for the necessary info to be provided because that guy obviously can't process everything at the same time. BUT I AM SUPERWOMAN! BECAUSE I HAVE A SUPER HERO GOD! WHEEEEEEEEE Okay, there are still some things outstanding, but I have cleared a substantial bulk of it and 95% (approx) of all the things I aimed to get done, and I don't want to care anymore. I'll just compile my outstanding list and give it to my assistant (ooo, it sounds so nice to say 'my assistant' hahaha) *dances* *jiggles* *yawns* Did I tell you that I was so hungry I ate a plate of chicken rice AND a plate of char koay teow for lunch? And I was watching the koay teow tremble at the end of my chopsticks. At several hours of the day I felt like either a) crying or b) taking someone by the shoulders and shaking them while screaming at the top of my lungs. But I am superwoman. Hooray! =) I just don't want to see the query sheet when the manager's done with it. I have a sneaky feeling there will be lots of questions as to why this and why that, and what on earth were you trying to do, and this is not enough info / support / etc etc etc. BUT I'll turn it back to him and say, "It's your fault! What do you expect by giving me so little time!??!?!" Muahahahahahahaha. Anyway, this is just focal, and I AM NOT GOING IN TO FINAL, so to whoever is going to "inherit" the file... GOD BLESS YOU, DON'T CALL ME, I DON'T CARE! |
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November 24th, 2007
Stardust! POSTED AT 09:17 PM I watched Stardust with Yuin and her Jap friends today - Mari & Risa. I like. It's a beautifully impossible story about true love. There were nice quotes if I could ever remember such things - about love, about life. If you think about it, besides the crazy things happening, it's really a deep show about coming of age and learning about the true desires of your heart. I especially liked the part where Tristan in his desperate attempt to save Yvaine from the witch uses the last bit of his Babylon candle and tells her, "hold tight, close your eyes and think of home." They end up stranded in the middle of the sky. Heh. I'm just sorry that Mari & Risa couldn't follow the whole show. =/ --- I'm way behind on NaNoWriMo - another 25k words to go and 6 days, with no inspiration and no mood to continue on. Bleh. --- The whole "dancing in front of the mirror" thing just doesn't work for me. If I can't even stand to see myself of video, do you think I'm going to be able to practice in front of a mirror???? Besides, I'm not exactly 100% aware of all my surroundings when I do stuff. I don't know if it's weird, but I have this sort of "performance bubble" that I have to go into when I'm acting or dancing. It's this extreme awareness of everything that's happening on the "stage" (my immediate surroundings) and an almost total blindness to everything else on the periphery. It's very difficult to get into, and when I don't, the performance may be okay, but still kind of... not quite there. However, once you get into it, everything just flows. The exact next step, action, word, everything flows together in a real sort of scenario. It's the only way out of this extreme kind of self-consciousness I get. The other thing is that it requires the other actors / dancers to also be unself-conscious enough to carry through the performance to the end. It's easy to lose when others aren't focusing. Blleeeehhhh. |
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November 29th, 2007
lookie here, it's an update... POSTED AT 11:44 PM I guess I'm writing because it has been silent here. David finished his SPM on Monday and banned me from the computer until now. Because he was busy playing DoTA with his schoolmates. What is there to say? I gave up on NaNoWriMo at 26k words because I had a busy week at work and totally lost momentum. I was losing the story line anyway. So, that's that. Tomorrow's the deadline. I don't think I have the time or inclination to write 24k words in 24 hours. (1,000 words an hour - is that even achievable?!) Yay to Lex - she reached 10k!!! Oh, and I finally spent a little (slightly less than half) of the money I earned with PayPerPost (now known as IZEA). Well I made little la - I'm not so hardworking, so I have little to spend. Hehe. So, I'll be waiting for my little "Christmas gift" to myself through the mail. Whee... I hope it's intact when it arrives, or I'll have blown like... USD18. (Not my fault - postage was like almost triple the original purchase price!) Oo, but I like, I like. I suppose it's totally unnecessary, but *awww*. I finally bought my ticket for the Penang International Jazz Festival this Sunday night... and am totally, totally excited! Additionally exciting is the "Voices in Harmony" vocal workshop held by Idea of North this Saturday at 10am! *dances* *wiggles* *giggles* The weird part is that apparently they are performing at Alexis on Friday night... so... they had so better not be cheating me. Haha. --- Today's topic on Mix FM's "He Says, She Says" was something to do about guys should not call immediately after the first date. Well, define immediately. As soon as you've reached home? One hour? Two hours? The next day? The next weekend? If they are interested, they should call. And they shouldn't take too long about it either. |
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