April.
POSTED AT 11:26 PM in #fridayflash, atozchallenge

natanna

 

"Agnes Lim." April shook her head. "Arlene Lim. Anne Lim. Anna Lim. Angel. Angeline. Adele. Adeline." It just didn't sound right. As much as she hated her name, she had to admit that she had used it for so long that it fit. Why did April Lim work, and not all the other names? Why couldn't she be Angela or Alfie or Amanda or... Why must her name start with an A at all? Why not Jade (she used to love the name Mara Jade) or Hermione (though she could be really irritating) or.. Elphaba? No, Esmeralda would be far better than Elphaba. 

She often wished that her parents had given her another name. I mean seriously, what were they thinking? she griped to herself for what seemed like the gazillionth time. Didn't they ever stop to think that there would be silly people who would ask her so were you born in April? when her birthday was in June, and then ask the sillier question so were you conceived in April? which was pretty inconceivable, unless you regularly got an F in maths. What kind of a question was that to ask a thirteen year old anyway?

There was no way to ask them now, at any rate. Sometimes thinking of her parents made her think of the Baudellaire orphans in A Series of Unfortunate Events, except that she didn't have a fortune to inherit, she didn't have any siblings, there was no Count Olaf chasing her (and her non-existent siblings), she didn't have a knack of inventing or researching or biting or cooking and she had a pretty good permanent home with her grandmother who was a gentle, sweet old lady who wasn't out to get her. Not yet. Not ever, hopefully.

"They didn't know how to spell Avril," she used to lie (mainly to herself) but that got old when she decided that Avril Lavigne wasn't her favourite singer anymore. She had checked up her name in one of those books about the meaning of names and was a little pleasantly surprised that it mean "open to the sun" in latin or something, she forgot. It didn't really make sense to her, and at any rate most people thought of April as the month and never asked so what does your name mean (besides the obvious)? No one ever asked, So what does April (the month) mean anyway, or May or June or December and it made her head hurt to think too hard about it. 

She had tried to change her name before, but it had never stuck. No one remembered to call her Jessamine (her favourite name at one time) and when she tried to use Katy, she forgot that it was supposed to be her. That had been a little sad, because Uncle John had shouted, "Katy, I left some cookies on the table for you," but she had forgotten that Katy was supposed to be her and by the time she went down the dog had eaten them.

"April Lim!" her grandmother called. "Dinner time!"

April Lim gathered a scattered thoughts as she clattered down the stairs, deciding to remain April for just another day, if only so she could respond for dinner. 

 

 

---

So what's this all about?

Well, I decided that I don't have time to hash out a 100-page script for Script Frenzy (screnzy) this month, so when Susanna threw out this a-to-z challenge she found online, I decided to join (at the very last minute). 

What will I do?

I will be posting a short story every day (except Sunday), each titled from A to Z. (Today's post is titled April, tomorrow's will be uh... I don't know yet). These stories may be linked. I hope. Let's see where that goes. I'll try to keep to a minimum of 500 words. It may be longer, if I hit a topic that suddenly just... flows. Or it may just be 500. Or it may be less if I get too busy. 

Where did you get this?

From here. (Or the huge picture in the earlier post. I'm giving up on putting badges in my sidebar. It takes too much effort.

If you tweet, the hashtag's #atozchallenge (duh!!)

---

Which reminds me, I was supposed to do up a proper blog some time. I mean like a proper website. With stuff. You know, for publicity purposes and all that. Oh well. 

I'm done for the night.

Good night!

Bizarre
POSTED AT 12:53 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

Strange, April thought to herself as she walked up the driveway of her best friend's house. She had cheerfully waved goodbye to her grandmother who had driven away with a honk but now that she turned to face the house, it looked awfully quiet. Had Shawna given her the wrong dates? Today was supposed to be the write-in party, wasn't it? The chorus how bizarre, how bizarre, how bizarre echoed in her head. Try as she might, she couldn't remember anything else of the song.

She pressed the door bell rather uncertainly. There was a moment of quiet, rather like the stillness before the storm. The door creaked open. The door never creaked. Doors in Malaysia don't creak. April braced herself to scream just in case a zombie appeared behind the opening door.

Instead, Shawna looked out, rubbing her eyes. "What are you doing here?" she asked in the midst of a huge yawn.

"Weren't we supposed to meet today?"

"Today? What on earth for? Do you know that it's..." Shawna turned to look at the clock. "Oh my, it's two! How did it get to be two? Today's Sunday, isn't it?"

April shook her head, getting more bewildered by the moment. "Today is Saturday. It's the second of April and if you're trying a belated April Fool's joke, it's not funny."

Shawna rubbed at her head like she always did when she was having a migraine. The migraines seemed to be coming more often, April thought. Shawna had gone home early from school yesterday with a very bad migraine. April wondered if migraines could be caught, like a virus. She didn't want to have one. "Um," she started, wondering if she should ask to go in, or if she should call her grandmother to pick her up again.

"You better come in," Shawna finally said, swinging open the door and watching as April slipped off her sandals. "What were we supposed to be doing today?"

"The write-in party," April reminded her. "Remember, you said it would be fun to hang out and write... and you said you'd get a few writer friends to come." She didn't like the way it was coming out all whiny and accusing, but she couldn't help herself. She had been so excited. Now it felt like when she woke up in the hospital and found out that her parents had died in the car crash. Well, not that bad, but almost as. It was a sinking sensation in her stomach that made her want to cry. The funny ‘O' that her friend's mouth formed made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. She didn't like the feeling.

"Well, we can always hang out and write, only I don't think I can call any writer friends at the last minute," Shawna said apologetically. "I do have a story to tell you anyway. Just give me a minute to wash up."

"Okay," April said. At least Shawna had a story to tell. Her stories were always amusing, like something out of a book. A tingly feeling of hope started to make its way up her toes. She wondered idly what would happen when both sensations met midway, maybe somewhere about her knees. With any luck, her knees would survive.

April kicked her heels against the sofa as she waited. Maybe this bizarre day would be a good one after all.

--

Today's word was a tough one. I picked it out at random because that was where my thumb landed when I opened the thesaurus. 

Monday's post will be on Cancer (the sign, not the disease), as suggested by Kim. 

oh lookie - I've got google connect
POSTED AT 01:19 PM

natanna

Oh wow. 

I figured out how to put google connect on my tabulas. LOL!

One of these days, I am going to get a paid site, and revamp everything.

One of these days will probably when I'm not working where I am working right now. 

Now I'm off to work (on real office work) even though I'd rather be working on C right now. 

Wait. I think I'll have lunch first. 

One of these days, I'll also blog about Project Dance, which is coming to Penang. (YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT! IT'S COMING TO PENANG!) Yes, I'll have much to say about that! I'm in the committee!

But later, when work slows down and I have time to breathe. But for now, head on to facebook!

Cancer
POSTED AT 09:30 AM in atozchallenge

natanna

"You're a Cancer, aren't you?" Shawna asked when she came back into the room.
"Cancer? I don't have cancer," April replied, startled.
"No, silly. I meant your sign."
"Sign?"
"Astrological sign."
April looked at her rather uncertainly. "I don't know," she admitted. "My grandma's not a big fan of the signs and wonders group."
"Oh yeah. I forgot. It's not really a signs and wonders group," Shawna said, drawling a little as she settled against the cushions on the couch and entered what April often called the story-telling mode. "It's really a Greek myth. It had something to do with Hera and Heracles and some fight that they were in.... I don't remember all of it. Read it so long ago but anyway, one of them - the goddess - put the sign of a crab in the sky to commemorate his service to her. Like a memorial. You know, like... Like the rainbow. What do you think of that?"
"Crabs are pretty nice to eat," April offered. "What's the crab got to do with cancer?"
Shawna rolled her eyes and whacked her with a pillow. "You're so Chinese! All you think about is food. Anyway, don't you ever Google anything?"
"I do! But I didn't want to know anything about cancer or crabs! What are you trying to get at anyway? That I should read Greek myths?"
"Your birthday is in June isn't it?"
"Yes... But..."
"Great! Then you're a Cancer. I'm having an astrological party at the end of the month. I'm trying to get at least one person from each sign to attend."
"How many are there anyway?"
"Twelve. One for each month. So everyone will have to dress up in a representation of their sign."
"Which is?"
"For you? A crab, silly. Haven't you been listening at all?"
"Eww... Why's the sign of cancer a crab?"
"Sometimes, April, I swear you just don't listen."
"Excuse me. It's you who has been jumping all over the place in your story."
"Well, wear whatever you like. As long as it represents something to do with Cancer. I'm sure you can think of something awesomely cool. Can't you?"
"Yeah. I'll turn up in a red suit and sing 'under da sea.' Oh wait. He's a lobster. Was Sebastian a lobster?"
"Whatever. So shall we start writing then. Like we were supposed to?"
"Like you forgot we were supposed to, you mean."
"Don't be petty."
"I suppose dressing up as a dead crab with radiation signs would quite accurately represent someone getting cancer from eating a crab from Japan right now," April mused to herself.
"April! That's mean! I mean, like really mean! Say you weren't serious!"
"Ow, Shawna, that hurts! I was just thinking aloud... I wouldn't really do that. Besides, I'm not sure if my grandma would let me go to such a party, with that kind of theme and all. Sorry."
"Well just tell her it's a costume party then, and you have to think of your own costume. You don't have to tell her what it's supposed to mean. Anyway. Let's get down to business, shall we?"
The two girls sat at the study table armed with pen and paper, ready to unleash creativity onto the unsuspecting world.
For a long while, April couldn't stop thinking of cancer, the disease kind, and crabs, not the disease kind.

 

--

I mentioned to a friend on Saturday over supper (or late dinner, really) that I'd joined another writing challenge. The first thing she kind of said was you don't suddenly stop halfway arrr. Yeah. I'll try not to.

Just a clarification, I don't believe in the zodiac, or signs. This was just a word prompt a friend of mine gave (as you can see from the note at the end of Saturday's post.)

If this really works out, that I can post on a regular basis, I think I'll go for the 500 word a day challenge from inkygirl. Maybe. We'll see. 

Feeling: creative

Disparity
POSTED AT 09:30 AM in atozchallenge

natanna

The disparity between you and me is more than I can take
It's far beyond my meager skills, this love is turning fake
If I could I would, I think, try to make this work
But until that time I say, my dear, from your eyes I'll lurk.

April put her pen down with a sigh. It didn't seem to be working. She just couldn't get the words out, not like Shawna, who was writing like the devil herself. Or himself. She sometimes wondered why they were the best of friends when such disparity existed between them. Shawna, the wonder girl, who could write a gazillion words a minute, and April the geek who wrote four lines in four hours. Or Shawna the brilliant, who scored all A's in every test and April the idiot who could hardly remember which Sultan was which.

Maybe it didn't really matter. April tried to scribble out a few more words of her attempted poem, but gave up. Her mind was too taken up with her muse. Instead, she found herself scribbling bits and pieces of her thoughts.

Do opposites really attract? Or is that a false statement? Why would a popular girl like Shawna hang out with a nobody like me? Is she... *gasp gasp* using me, like those girls in Gossip Girl? But I have nothing to offer. Or maybe we just aren't that different. Maybe I just think we are, but we are not.

April looked at the multiple cross outs all over her pieces of paper. Why couldn't she write a simple sentence without going back to change almost everything of it? And there, just beside her, her hair glistening in the sunlight, her hand flowing across the page...

Shawna looked up. "Ow. Finger cramp," she said as she put down her pen and stretched her fingers. "What have you got?"

"Oh, nothing much. I don't think I'm really good at this," April muttered.

"Let me see." Shawna picked up the paper before April could say no. April found herself biting her lip, something she thought she had stopped doing since she was eight. Apparently not, subconsciously.

"OH A POEM! I LOVE THIS!" Shawna almost squealed. She fell silent as she read the rest of the scribbles. "Do you really think that, April?"

"Think what?"

"That you have nothing to offer?"

April could only shrug.

"Oh, darling, you keep me grounded to reality." Shawna scanned the puzzledly frowning (or maybe frowningly puzzled) face in front of her, as if wondering what to say next. "There's a lot of stuff I could tell you that you do for me... without you knowing... but I don't know if I should. I don't know if I'm allowed to."

"What on earth are you talking about, Shawna?"

It was Shawna's turn to look disturbed. "I'm going to tell you a story, maybe. One which you will most probably never believe. But you musn't laugh. Swear it, April, you mustn't laugh!"

"Another Greek myth that I should have Googled up?" April couldn't help herself.

"You'll never find this on Google."

"Okay. Try me then."

"I'm not real. I mean, not really real. I exist, but only in tangents. If it weren't for you, I'd be floating somewhere in the nebula, too formless to be seen."

April didn't think her mouth could gape that big.

--

I think I got a little off tangent with this one. But in between writing 'Cancer' and driving to church, I started thinking of the word disparity. I started out with the verses, then went back to finish off 'Cancer' so I had to figure out a way to fit the verse into the story. (Cart before horse, totally).

This is probably where I head off into fantasy. Again. 

interlude
POSTED AT 12:29 PM

natanna

I'm working on E. Really. Trying to get E - H done today (since I'm free) so I won't have to think about it when I'm busy the rest of the week.

---

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---

Apparently post-dated posts (or do I mean future posts) do not appear in Google Reader. I scheduled the last two posts and when I checked my Google Reader through flipbook, the posts do not appear. I don't know why. 

---

And my toe hurts. Like really. 

--- 

Okay, back to work. 

Existence
POSTED AT 10:37 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

April closed her mouth with a snap. "You're pulling my leg, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not... serious. I mean, I am serious."

"So are you or aren't you?" April had noticed recently that she was beginning to sound bitter about a lot of things. It wasn't something she had intended, but that it just always came out that way. Maybe it was part of growing up.

"Let me think of a way to tell you what I mean."

"Another story?"

"A true story."

"How true is true? Like reality true or myth true?"

Shawna stared at her. "What do you mean? I mean as in really true."

April paused. "Okay, tell me then."

"No, tell me what you mean first."

"It's hard to explain. It's just something you have to... get. I mean like truth has many shades, right? As in is it a fact that really happened? Or is this a true in a mythical kind of way, like giving the facts in a story form so that others can understand?"

"Oh."

The pause dragged as Shawna seemed to fall into a reverie. April picked up her pen and started doodling randomly.

"I think I get what you mean," Shawna finally said as April inspected critically her drawing of a tree. Or what was meant to be a tree, if trees were deformed that way.

"So what did you really mean about your existence? I don't get it? Like tangents?"

"Do you believe in aliens?"

"I..."

"Life in other planets? In living, thinking beings that may not exactly be... human."

"I'm not very sure," April said slowly.

"I'm only ever anything you think me to be, April," Shawna said eagerly. "I exist in this form only to the extent that you believe in me."

April's eyes narrowed. "Then what are you really?"

"I'm an idea. Your idea. You give me form."

"You are pulling my leg. I'm convinced of it. You don't even make sense, Shawna. If this is another story, it's not a nice one."

"I'm not..."

"It's an April's fool, isn't it? Since you went home early from school yesterday?"

"April, how many times do I have to tell you I'm not trying to trick you?"

Her words became soft, gentle, persuasive. "I am all you ever wanted to be. All you ever wished to be. I am the question you have asked so many times before - Why can't I be her?"

"My head hurts."

"Have an aspirin."

"But... everyone can see you. Everyone can talk to you. I'm not living a dream, am I? You are real. You live in a house. I can touch you. You eat!"

"Yes, I exist. But I exist only because you believe that I exist. So, if you cease to believe in me, I cease to exist. In this form, anyway."

"But why me? Why not someone else? Why not all the smart and brilliant girls in the class? Why latch on to me and my pitiful imagination?"

"Well, I think a human writer once explained something like it in a very interesting way - I think it was in Castle in the Air, when Abdullah asks Hasruel why he was made part of the djinn's plan to regain his life. The djinn replied, ‘I confess to selling you that magic carpet almost purely out of amusement... amusement at the number and nature of the daydreams proceeding from your booth.' Does that seem to answer your question?"

"So if I believe that you're a..."

"Don't!"

 

---

I will leave you at a cliff hanger here because what happens next is my next alphabet, "F". Haha. Also, my awesome bestie has joined the bandwagon (a little late) and her posts can be found here. (She's not quite on twitter.)

Also, a little tribute to Diana Wynne Jones, who passed away two weeks ago. I've only ever read her Castle series, though I've been meaning to get round to reading the Chrestomanci series. 

Fish
POSTED AT 12:35 AM in atozchallenge

natanna

It was a little too late to stop the words from coming out. April winced as she said it, as Shawna shouted "No!"

It seemed to her, after the fact, the stupidest thing she had ever done. Then again, it wasn't exactly her fault that she hadn't believed Shawna's story, was it?

She replayed the scene over and over again as she gaped at the little fish swimming in the bowl in front of her.
"So if I believe that you're a..."
"Don't!"
"Fish... you'd..."
"Noooooooooooooooooo...."
The sound dragged and faded into a bloop as a tiny little fish - April thought it might be a goldfish but she wasn't very good at animals - hung in the air where Shawna had been standing a moment ago. She held out her hands, and with a huge sigh of relief, she caught the slippery thing.

In something of a panic, April grabbed the nearest glass and popped the fish into the little remains of water in it even as her legs carried her to the kitchen to look for something bigger - and a lot more water.
Now all she could do was replay the scene in her head over and over and over again. Why was it that she could never think of the right thing to do when she needed it most?
A fish... You'd... Nooooooooooooooooooooo... My best friend is a fish! My friend is a fish!
The lines repeated themselves over and over and over and...
Wait a minute, hadn't she said that she was everything I wished her to be?
The fish seemed to be looking at her rather reproachfully even as she treaded carefully the minefield of her mind.
If the fish (she felt guilty about thinking about Shawna that way) was linked to her imagination, then it could be anything...

April heard the echoes of a groan in her mind when the fish dissolved into a frog. She gave out a little shriek as the frog jumped out of the bowl and turned into a frock, which crumpled on the ground.

Oh, why can't I keep my mind focused? She berated herself as the frock turned into a pair of blinkers. Even as the blinkers started to change into something else, she could hear the echoes of a voice in a tiny corner of her panicking brain. It seemed to be yelling at her.

Taking a deep breath, April sat down and tried to focus on what the words were saying. She picked up the pen to write down the words as they seemed to come into her brain:

Stop it! Stop it! Stop thinking! Leave the room! Get out now! If you can't, keep thinking in your head - Shawna Shawna Shawna Shawna Shawna Shawna Shawna

"Thank God!" Shawna's voice said behind her, causing her to jump.

"Oh Shawna! I'm sorry! I didn't... I..."

"It's alright, April. No harm done."

"But... why doesn't this happen all the time?" April asked with some bewilderment.

Shawna merely shrugged. "Freak of nature. I'll be fine now. It won't happen again."

---

There! This is early, as yesterdays was late-ish. Word prompt of the day "Fish" via Damyanti. She's doing short fiction for #atozchallenge!

For now, I'm off to bed. I have to sleep off last night's nightmare of having a freak wave/tsunami thing swallow my car at Gurney Drive and losing all my work stuff in one go! (Ask me about that another time, if I still remember).

Tomorrow, I drive to Sungai Petani and will be there until Saturday. Hopefully I have time to get Friday's post up there! =) 

Genius
POSTED AT 11:36 PM in #fridayflash, atozchallenge

natanna

Gordon was a genius. He knew it, even if no one else would admit it to his face. He was up there with the likes of Einstein, Jefferson and... all the other geniuses in the world. It just bugged him that no one recognised his sheer stupendous geniusity. Everyone just either shushed him or told him not to entertain so many ridiculous notions and most of all, to stop bugging them with dumb ideas.

He would show them, though. One day he would create the best invention in the world and he would show them all! Then he would be the richest man on the planet and everyone would want his signature. For now, he would just continue with his inventions, perfecting his ideas and skills.

The one person he liked best in the whole world, he thought as he worked on his math homework, was Shawna. She always knew how to say the right things that made him think that maybe his ideas were not that stupid after all the criticism he received from everyone else. At least she listened. Like, really listened. Her best friend April wasn't that bad either. She sounded more like she didn't understand rather than like she didn't like him.

That was the issue. It wasn't that they didn't think he was smart. Maybe they did, or maybe they didn't. He didn't quite know. It was just that they didn't like him. Or acted like they didn't. He wished he could tell the difference. He closed his exercise book with a sigh and lay down on his bed, kicking a few dirty shirts down to the ground. He would get that later. Maybe.

Right now, he was busy thinking of an emotions reading machine, one that would help him recognize if the person he was talking to was really interested in his invention, or if they just wanted him gone. It would save him a lot of time and effort, really. And lots of breath. It would also help him to get out of the way of his father fast enough when he got home angry and drunk. Gordon rubbed at the bruise on his arm. Twisting the skin a little, he could see that it was turning an ugly purple and yellow.

His powers of invention ran to amazing stories about his escapades that caused those bruises and cuts. It would have to be saving the cat from the tree, maybe. He had used the falling down the stairs excuse just last week. Maybe he could write a story about it, and be hailed as a literary genius! He should let his general geniusity shine through! There were footsteps on the stairs. Gordon rolled off the bed and ran to his desk.

By the time his father opened the door, Gordon was hard at work being a genius at subterfuge. His father would never know that he was reading I, Robot behind the cover of his History textbook. His father gave him a grim smiled. "Good boy. Work hard now."

---

This was a difficult one to write. I just couldn't think of anything to write, and the one I started with April and ginormous never went past about 150 words.

Hiatus
POSTED AT 11:51 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

"H" is going to be a cop-out.

After a busy 3 days at Sungai Petani (Farmer's River! LOL!) and a 1.5-hour drive home, I am too tired and lazy to think of the next episode of April.

Therefore, since hiatus starts with an "H", that shall be my post for today!

Will be back on Monday with more April and friends! =D

Idiot
POSTED AT 11:55 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

"Boys are idiots," April muttered to herself under her breath. She stared daggers at the back of Gordon's head which was bent over the table in front of her. He had come up with another annoying excuse as to why he couldn't meet them to work on their group geography project after school. If he never ever met up with them, how were they supposed to do the project together? Did he seriously expect Shawna and herself to do the whole thing by themselves and still get the credit for it?

"It's not his fault," Shawna whispered.

"It is too. Why can't he just negotiate something with his dad? I mean, how unreasonable can the man be?"

Shawna could see Gordon starting to turn towards them. "Shh!" she hissed.

April glared at the back of the offending head again, her mouth opening to complain again.

"We'll talk about this later," Shawna interrupted pointedly.

The last bell rang and Shawna watched as Gordon slouched out of the classroom. She could feel the waves of sadness flowing out of him, overlaid with something akin to... embarrassment? Now why would he feel embarrassed?

April rounded on her. "So? Why are you defending that idiot? Why do you take his side? Do you like, like him or something?"

"April! How could you?"

"But it's totally not fair! Do you really think we should let him just... just leech off our work?"

"Can't you understand that he's going through a rough time at home?"

"What about me? Haven't I gone through a rough time as well? I survived, didn't I?"

"Your father isn't beating you half to death now, at the moment."

"My... He... how do you know that?"

Shawna just gave her a knowing look.

"He... wait... you read thoughts and ideas - you've been reading him?! What on earth for?"

"He... interests me."

April's mouth gaped. "But he's an idiot! He..."

"He beats you in every test. Don't you think I know why you're upset?"

"Sometimes Shawna, you're impossible!" April grabbed her bag and stalked angrily out of the room.

"I've asked him to work on it at home and we'll compile everything after school tomorrow," Shawna called after her.

April barely grunted. Her mind was making mental somersaults. Why is Shawna interested in Gordon? Why is she prying into his life? If Shawna is an embodiment of MY wishes and dreams, does that mean...

April gasped aloud and stopped walking. Someone nearly bumped into her, muttering curses as he veered away. She looked across the hallway towards the gate where Gordon was just walking out, his head bent and his hands in his pockets.

No. I do NOT like that idiot. He's such an... an... insufferable person!

"So are you being the idiot or him?"

April jumped. "Not fair."

"What's not fair?"

"You! Everything! I don't know."

April's grandmother pulled up outside the school gates.

"Ta, April Goh," Shawna said with a cheeky grin.

April could only mentally scream at her as she hurried towards the car.

Jealousy
POSTED AT 09:00 AM in atozchallenge

natanna

The more April thought about Gordon that afternoon, the more she had to admit to herself that she was plainly jealous of the guy. First of all, he never looked like he ever studied. And yet, he was one of the top students in class. It just wasn't fair that he took so little effort and did so well and yet she had to work so hard and perform so averagely. Why did some people just have all the brains?

Second of all, he had a father. He still HAD a father. She missed her father a million times over to infinity and beyond and he was never coming back. Why couldn't people appreciate what they had while they had it? Why hadn't she ever appreciated her parents while she had them?

And frankly, he was pretty good-looking. Most of the girls in the class liked him. It hurt that they would like him more than they would like her. Why was she always the social outcast, like she could never say the right things at the right times, and yet, he could fumble his way through a conversation and say the strangest things ever and still have so many people hanging around and wanting his company?

She tried to concentrate on her homework. It doesn't help to be jealous, she told herself over and over again. A solitary tear still rolled down her cheek. I wish I could be somebody else.

Gordon flipped through the atlas, looking for the map he was supposed to draw. He had done his research and now he had to get the things out on paper for the girls to compile. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't meet them and do it together. It wasn't fair of April to blame him.

April! Frankly, he was jealous of the girl. How nice it would be if his father were to disappear into the blue and leave him alone. He stuck out his tongue as he concentrated on drawing the shoreline of East Peninsular Malaysia. He wondered if Shawna knew. She had a knowing way of looking at him, as if she were hiding a secret.

He also envied the way she could wander off on her own, hiding in her own thoughts and quiet conversations, instead of having to fumble through awkward conversations that made him wish the earth would swallow him whole. He was jealous of her having Shawna, and him having no one. No one at all. All alone in a sea of people. People who didn't know him, who didn't want to know him. People who only wanted to know what he knew, to pretend to be friends with the smart guy. Maybe it would be best to play dumb, except that would never work. He would never survive the pain.

He finished off the map as neatly as he could and put all the scattered sheets into a clear folder. With a sigh, he looked at his schedule for the day. It was apparently time to start studying for next month's exams. His eyes itched to caress the next few chapters of I, Robot but he didn't dare to.

Knots
POSTED AT 06:20 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

Shawna brooded. Her fingers worked at her rope puzzle, feeling at the knots. It was a puzzling fact that she could do it better by touch, rather than by trying to trace the flow of the rope with her eyes.
What should I do? That was the question she asked herself over and over again. She could tell from the daydreams emitting from April that she had been thinking over the barbs Shawna had shot at her.
Hmm, jealous? That was a new one. Her awareness flitted over towards Gordon, where she stopped, shocked. What was this? Were they both jealous of each other? That was a new twist to this knot.
What would happen if I brought them together? Should I bring them together?

She had attached herself to April because of her vivid imagination. The girl seemed to live half in a fantasy world of her own, indulging in dragon and knights in shining armour and princesses to be saved. Magic seemed to feature a lot; these humans seemed to be very fascinated with the supernatural, not realising the full extent of the abilities they had in the natural. Shawna smiled as she worked another knot free.
Gordon, however, had a different kind of imagination. She had considered it once, wondering what it would be like to indulge in his ideas. She had rejected it in the end because she had rather liked the idea of being a living being. Gordon would have made her into several kinds of machines. As it was, most of his inventions right now were only on paper. There was no way he would ever get his hands on a lab or any kind of inventing materials in the near future. She might have spent a long time as a piece of paper.
Could Gordon be April's knight (in rather grubby but technologically-advanced armour)? Could April immortalise Gordon's rather fancy creations into text? Between Gordon and April, they would have a science-fiction baby, Shawna chortled to herself. Another knot worked itself free between her fingers. Two more to go. She glanced at the clock. If she finished this within another minute, she would have broken her own record. The key was not to concentrate on it.
Her mind wandered back to Gordon.

"No pa! It's not like that!" Gordon wailed. "It's for our geography project!"
"Your geography project involves going out with girls?"
"No, pa! We were assigned the project together and..."
The knots in the rope tore against his bare back. "Don't lie to me, boy."
He tried to hold back the tears, knowing how it would incense his father even more. "You can ask Puan Loh," he managed, steadying his breath. "She was the one who assigned it. We were doing it in school today and I borrowed April's reference book because it had a bigger map, that's all!"
His father's eyes narrowed. "I'll believe you. This time," he growled, shoving him aside. The door closed behind him and Gordon heard the lock click. Sprawled against the foot of the study desk, he buried his head in his arms and wept.

Shawna cursed herself. Not quick enough. If I'd gotten those last two knots in time...

---

I'm sorry I've been gone so long! I had a rather tight deadline to meet, on top of leading worship in church and not being in town until Thursday...

And these are all (pretty much) excuses, so I'll get back to writing and hopefully catch up soon! =)

(I'm still alive).

Listening to: beautiful - Kari Jobe

Lioness
POSTED AT 01:14 AM in atozchallenge

natanna

April glared at Gordon as he slouched into the classroom, his backpack cradled in his hands.
"So have you done it?" she asked brusquely.
Sullenly he handed over a thin clear folder. She rifled through the papers and grunted her approval.
He put his bag down on the floor, wincing as he bent. Engrossed in sorting out the geography notes, April did not notice.
It was about ten minutes later when April turned to ask Gordon if he had brought her book back when she realised that his thin white shirt looked rather spotted with brown. She was about to ask if he'd leaned against something dirty when she realised that the dark spots were under the material. She leaned forward, looking in closer. It looked like blood.
He turned suddenly, causing her to gasp in fright. He scowled at her.
"What did he do to you?" she couldn't help asking.
"None of your business."
"But Gordon..."
"What do you care?"
"Fine. Get beaten to death if you want."
"What? How do... what do you mean?" Gordon's voice seemed to quiver. His fingers gripped the edges of the table, knuckles turning white with pressure.
April bit her tongue. What if she wasn't supposed to know? Why had Shawna told her? "Nothing. I didn't mean..." she started to deny, but just then, Gordon winced as he straightened. Her lips tightened.
"Let me have a look at that."
"No. What would you know anyway?" He pushed her hands away, but not before she had grabbed a tail end of his shirt. It rode upwards briefly, offering her a glimpse of a scarred waist even as he pushed her away and tucked in his shirt hastily.
"Come on, Gordon! Remember what the teachers said? You need to tell your friends..."
"Friends! You?"
"Of course! We can help you."
"Are you crazy, April? I barely even know you! You don't even like me. You call me an idiot, remember?"
She could feel her cheeks burning. "Well. I'm sorry," she mumbled.
"So don't bother. I can handle it." He turned on his heel and marched angrily out of the class, gritting his teeth as each stomp pulled at the painful scabs on his back. He hated it when this happened. He hated it when he couldn't find an excuse, couldn't find a way to cover up. He hated it when his father was drunk and angry over stupid things. He hated it when the knots drew blood. Blood was such a difficult thing to cover up.

"This is ridiculous, Shawna!" April was almost yelling as her friend finally showed up.
"What is?"
"How can he do such things to him and not get reported? It's insane? Have you seen the extent of..."
"Back up, April. What are you talking about?"
"Gordon, of course. You were the one who told me. Have you seen? Isn't there someone we can tell? I mean, all this stuff they always say on radio and during assembly and..."
"April, does he want to tell? You can't protect him until he wants to protect himself."
"No, Shawna, that's stupid. If that were true, who would protect those who can't protect themselves?"
My, aren't we a lioness with a cub, Shawna thought as she followed the fuming April to the school counsellor's office. She smiled secretly to herself.

---

I'm not sure I rather like where the story is going right now. It seems to be getting much darker than I had originally intended. What can I say? Gordon needs help and April needs a battle to fight.

If she doesn't start fighting for something, she's probably going to start fighting with something/somebody and I don't think that will be very pretty either.

Mom
POSTED AT 01:13 AM in atozchallenge

natanna

Mom, if you're there... Gordon looked up at the blue sky, a hand gripping the flagpole by the school gates. I wish you'd come back. I wish you had taken me with you when you left.

The prefect on duty glanced at him curiously. Gordon ignored him, wallowing in his own thoughts. He had never found out why his mom had suddenly left them, or where she had gone. Well, he supposed he knew why she had left, but he couldn't understand why she hadn't taken him too.

Didn't you love me enough? Am I that useless that you had to hate me too?

The sound of footsteps stopped behind him.

"Gord?"

"Mo- " but it was only Shawna. "What do you want?" His voice sounded dead. 

"The bell's about to ring," she said.

"So?"

"A demerit isn't going to help you." She laid a hand on his, squeezing it gently. "Come on."

"Why did you call me Gord? My mum was the only one who called me that."

"If you don't like it, I won't."

"It's... Well, I guess... Whatever." He let her pull his hand off the flagpole and followed her down the corridor. "Did April... I mean, do you..."

"Incoherent much?" Shawna smiled at him. "Yes, April told me and yes, I know. Gordon, I've known for a long time."

"But how?"

She seemed to pause for a long while. "My father used to beat me too," she finally said. The words came out reluctantly, as if they were being forced. Gordon stared at her, wondering why she would tell him. It slowly dawned upon him.

"You... Used? He doesn't anymore?"

She shrugged. "I don't live with him anymore."

He seemed to digest that. "But I don't have anyone else to live with. I don't know where my mom went."

"Other relatives?"

He shook his head. "It's only me and him. We're all we have left. I... I couldn't leave him."

Shawna shrugged. "Your decision."

The bell rang and the two hurried into class.

Gordon hardly paid attention in class that day. If I could leave him... but where would I go? If I knew where mom was, that would be a different story. If she still wants me. If she ever did.

It didn't help his mood that mother's day was next month and their assignment for art class for the month was to make a card (or some other appreciative artwork) for their mothers. What would he say to her anyway? Dear mom, I haven't seen you since I was nine. Do you think you could come back yet? He sat doodling circles on a sheet of paper. April seemed to have the same problem.

"Stuck for ideas?" he ventured, trying to make up for his rudeness in the morning. It had been rude, he admitted to himself even if he couldn't admit it to her.

"I guess."

"How do you normally celebrate mother's day?"

"I don't."

"Oh. Um..."

"She's dead."

"Oh. Sorry."

April shrugged outwardly. "You?"

"My mom left," he said.

"Oh. Sorry."

He shrugged back.

"Maybe we should just flunk this project together," April said, leaning back in her chair with a sigh.

"Maybe." He suddenly felt better, knowing that there were people who understood.

"I still wish she would come back," she said in a small voice. He could only nod in reply.

--- 

I am still behind.

ninja
POSTED AT 01:28 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

I am ninja. I can sneak into that house, capture the prize and leave unnoticed. I am as quiet as the wind (I think), as stealthy as the mice (though not as icky), as frightening as... as frightening things. I am ninja. Though I'm not really sure I want that prize. I think I'm just trying to be altruistic because he looks like he needs rescuing. Then again, why should the princess save the knight? No, this isn't the story of the princess and the knight. This is the story of the ninja (female) saving the helpless boy. Which doesn't make sense. Are there female ninja (ninjas?) or are they only male? Maybe they're called something else in the feminine.
I can't believe I was jealous of him. Okay, maybe I am still a little jealous of him. He has a father, as horrible as he may be. But then again, maybe I am better off without a father like that, though MY father was never like that.
Still. Would ninja sneak into that house? Would ninja accomplish anything by getting in and taking him out? Taking him out where? To leave him homeless in the street? To take him... home? Which home? MY home? Grandma would kill me. Though, I think she would rather like having a grandson who is probably less ridiculous than me and does a far sight better at pretending to know stuff in class.

April shook herself out of her rambling thoughts. She was being ridiculous. Extremely ridiculous. Though, if she thought and dreamt about it really hard around Shawna, would she turn into a ninja? She giggled to herself at the thought of Shawna dressed in a black cat suit, with a mask on - a nice elegant-looking mask, not one of those ski-mask types - and holding a samurai sword. Or was she mistaken? DID ninjas hold samurai swords? Or was that something else altogether? She wasn't very good at this whole Japan culture thing - otaku, did they call it? Or did that mean something else?

Shawna could be ninja (maybe), but did Gordon want to be saved? The school counsellor had thanked her for informing him about the situation, but had told her in no uncertain terms that she should keep quiet about it and never talk about it unless Gordon himself wanted to. She could do that, she supposed. She'd felt rather awkward after that whole episode anyway. Rather like a pussy cat trying to roar. And failing. Quite.

Ninja's don't roar. They are as quiet as the rustling of leaves, but much more still. Maybe if Gordon were ninja, he could save himself. He could stealthily disappear whenever his father appeared and reappear when he disappeared. He could merge into the darkness of the corners when danger appeared, or he could brandish his... sword? Fighting weapon thing... and ward off the evil monster. Sort of. If ninja Gordon wanted to frighten his father back.
I think I need to learn more about ninjas. I'm sure the shows don't get it quite right. Probably.

April turned back her attention to her homework. Only another ten difficult math questions to go. She sighed.

Ninja doesn't do math. I wish.

---

Written in the last 30 mins of my lunch break.

Go, me!

So apparently the trick to writing fast is to write something totally ridiculous. Like ninja. Haha.

Word prompt (ninja) from fellow participant Damyanti. Visit her here!

Oh
POSTED AT 01:10 AM in atozchallenge

natanna

There were no words she could think of to say, except oh.
Oh, what? Shawna wanted to scream. Oh shoot, I said the wrong thing? Oh, dear, I'm such an idiot? Oh blast, I messed up?
"What? Why are you glaring at me like that?" April asked Shawna irritatedly. "What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Fine. Be that way."
"You could have just been a little more tactful, you know."
"Oh."
"Stop saying that! It's bugging me!"
"What, oh?"
"Yes!"
"Why?"
"It's just... just... so inarticulate."
"In a what?"
"You know... argh. It doesn't solve matters and it doesn't give any form of useful feedback."
"What kind of feed back?"
"Like, you know, do you get it, or do you not? Or are you still somewhere lost in your own world?"
"Oh. Right."
"There it is again. Oh. Grr!"
"Don't growl at me. I don't see anything wrong with that expression."
Shawna rolled her eyes. "There's nothing wrong wrong with it. It's just... not very helpful."
"So what do you expect me to say?"
"Sorry, maybe?"
"For?"
"Don't you think you kind of just insulted Gordon?"
"Me? Insulted him? What did I do?" April looked at her friend, perplexed.
"'At least you have a father'? You would say that to a person you know is being abused and not think that you're being mean?"
"Why is that mean?"
"Think about it, April! Don't you ever think?"
"Um. Sometimes? You know, Shawna, if you roll your eyes that way some more, it might get stuck behind your eyelids and never come back down."
"Right. Whatever."
"Okay, so it was a stupid thing to say. But it's a true thing to me, okay? What do you want me to do?"
"I don't know. Like, go apologise or something. Don't just go oh. It's annoying."
"Oh."
"There you go again."

---

Today's O is a short one. I need to catch up on sleep about as much as I need to catch up on posts.

This is frankly getting a little disjointed, mainly because I don't really know where this is going. 

Maybe P will be about Percy Jackson. 

Perhaps
POSTED AT 08:24 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

"Perhaps you are mistaken," Gordon's father said in a very oily kind of voice.
"I received a report..." the school counsellor managed before he was interrupted.
"I don't know what kind of report that could be, but possibly he was mistaken. My boy is one of those accident-prone kids. He does things without thinking, you see. Bruises, scrapes, cuts... I sometimes don't know what to do with him."
"Does he ever..."
"It's amazing, the dumb things he does sometimes. Just the other day, he was on one of those rope swings, I think. You remember those really old ones? He said he fell. Or he swung it and it hit him - I really don't know all the details. Made such a bloody mess of himself. Well, he'll have to live with the pain until he learns to be more careful, won't he?"
"Sure, sure, Mr. Goh. Only..."
"He didn't tell you that, did he? Did he make up some silly story about that?"
"I'm sure I don't quite..."
"You must believe me. Gordon is quite an attention seeker nowadays. His mother left us a few years back. He hasn't quite gotten over it. It's really sad, for a boy that young..."
"Perhaps..."
"Perhaps you are mistaken." Gordon's father rose to his feet. "I really am such a busy man. I do appreciate the concern you have for my son, but I do think that concern may be a little misdirected. I'm sure there are more problematic children than my son."
He shook hands briefly with the young school counsellor and left the room.
The school counsellor stared after him in apprehension. Perhaps he had done the wrong thing. Maybe it would have been better to let the matter lie. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he may have just made things worse for Gordon. Perhaps he should have taken his own advice to April.

Perhaps it is time to make a move, Mei thought to herself as she walked by the silent house for what seemed like the dozenth time today. She wasn't sure what lies Feng had fed her son about her disappearance, but she was quite certain it wasn't anything nice.
She patted at the wide hat on her head again, pulling down its brim lower over her eyes both to protect herself from the glare of the sun and to make sure that no one could get a clear look at her face. Not like there was anyone - she glanced around quickly again. No one.
Still, she had that prickly sensation of someone watching her - wait, was that a curtain falling back down? Had someone been watching her out of the window? Mei wished she knew what she should do.
She knew Feng was out. She had watched him get into the car and drive off almost an hour ago. She wondered when he would come back. What if he... But if she kept thinking that way, she would never do anything. It was now or never, and better now than never.
The strange girl who had called her had never identified herself. She had only said she was a friend of Gordon's and that if Mei didn't do anything soon, Gordon might not survive the year. How did she know that? What did she know? But it was enough to get her mother-bear instincts into play, and she was grateful for it. Mei had been living a half life for so long. Thank you, whoever you are.
Perhaps it is time. She knocked on the front door.

---

This is turning more into Gordon's story than April's. Hope you don't mind.

If I haven't been answering your comments, sorry! I'm swamped with work AND Easter preparations AND writing these right now. But I'll drop by your blog when I can.

Thanks for dropping by! 

Qualms
POSTED AT 10:36 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

Gordon froze at the knock on the door. No one came to the house except his father's drunken friends, late in the night.

"Gordon? Are you there?"

I have to be hallucinating. I've fallen asleep. I have to wake up now, before father comes home. He could feel a panic attack starting to grip him, remembering the letter he had brought home yesterday, staying awake wondering if he were in trouble. There had been anger in his father's eyes, but uncertainty as well. He kept his fingers crossed.

The knocking continued. "Gord? Please open the door."

He stared irresolutely at it. "Who... who's there?" It was a stupid question. It was stupid even before he said it and a lot more stupid after he said it.

"It's me. Your mom."

"How do I know it's really you?"

"Just open the door, Gord."

He took slow steps to the door, sucking in deep breaths. No, not now. Not now not now not now. His hands were shaking as he pulled the latched and turned the knob.

An apparition stood before him. The slender frame enclosed in a white shirt and a flowing, flowery skirt took a step into the house. He backed away slowly, breathing in the smell of her familiar perfume. She enfolded him in her arms. The tears were coming unbidden, not just because a host of pains in his back had started to protest. "Where have you been, mom?" he could barely gasp out.

"Gord, we need to leave as soon as possible. Before your father comes home."

"Answer me, mom! Where have you been?"

"I couldn't risk coming back earlier. I was afraid. But now, I..." she stopped. "What has he done to you? What has he done to my precious little boy?"

"Hardly precious. You left me behind. You didn't care about me."

"I had to."

"Why?"

"I don't have time to tell you everything right now, Gord. We have to leave before your father comes back."

"I want to know why." He knew he was being very stubborn and stupid, but he couldn't help it. There were too many things in his heart and head right now, and he needed to know. He needed to know what to do.

"Gordon Goh! Please, just listen to me. If your father comes back now, he'll kill both of us." She pulled at him, and he gasped as a scab opened, oozing blood and pus. She gaped as he yelped in pain, turning him around and pulling up his shirt. "Oh, Gordon. My poor baby."

"Why should I follow you? Why should I go anywhere with you when you left me here alone?"

"Why should you stay if he treats you like this?"

"I don't know. Where would I go? It wasn't as if I was given a choice in the matter."

She looked wounded at his words. He wanted to take them back, but he couldn't. He wanted to go with her, but he couldn't. Why couldn't he? Why was he suddenly so worried about it? Why did he fear going with her when all he had ever dreamed and pray for was to find her again? All of a sudden, it dawned upon him. What if she leaves me behind again? What if father was right and she just doesn't love me anymore?

"I need to know, mom. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But I just need to know why you left me."

 

Rewind
POSTED AT 04:54 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

Mei took a deep breath. Where do I start? How do you ever start telling a story that you have been trying to hide from for years?
"Please?" there was a vulnerability in his voice, a quiver in the question that made a lump form in her throat. Her mind raced over everything that had happened in the last five years, over everything she had done, everything she had not done, everything she wished she could change.

"Leave then, woman!" Feng had yelled at her. "But the boy is mine."
"I'm taking him with me."
"And where would you go? How will you take care of him?"
"I'll find a way."
"Admit it, woman, you have nowhere to go. Do you even have a plan, or are you just leaving on a whim? Tears, Mei? How like you."
"Better than being a... a stone like you. Don't you feel anything? Don't you care about anything other than yourself? He's just a child! He needs time to grow and develop at his own pace..."
"He doesn't need to be stupid like you!"
"You don't have to beat him!"
"That's the only way he'll learn."
"Feng, please. Take it out on me if you must. Just leave him alone!"
"Typical woman. Weak to the bone. And what will you do when all your molly-coddling turns him into an over-grown baby, a sissified wimp? What will you do when he can't get into university or earn a Master's degree because you 'let him develop at his own pace'? What will you do then? Cry again?"
"Feng, you're being ridiculous!"
The sting of the slap shocked her. He hadn't laid a hand on her in years. He had promised not to, he had vowed at her father's deathbed to never do it again.
"Can't take it, can you?" he sneered, hitting her over and over again. She flailed her hands at him ineffectively. "So should I take it out on you? To leave him alone? Could you bear all his burdens? Study on his behalf?"
"Feng..."
"Get out of my house, woman. If I ever see your face again, I'll kill him."
"You wouldn't."
"Try me."
He stared down at her. Grabbing her by the neck, he pushed her out the front door.
"Don't ever let me see you again."
"You wouldn't. He's your son! You're taking it out on him because you promised not to hurt me. You can't do that to your own son! He's your flesh and blood. Feng!"
The door had slammed hard in her face. She had believed him. She had believed that Feng could kill his own son. Maybe it was true. Maybe...

Gordon was lying in her arms.
"Where did you go after that?"
"I..."
The two of them froze at the sound at the door.
"Father," Gordon whispered.
"Feng," Mei sighed. They held hands tight.
There were angry words at the door, slightly inaudible, as if someone had stopped the man midstride.
"Back door?" Mei asked in a whisper. Gordon nodded. They walked as stealthily as they could towards the kitchen.
With panicking hands, Gordon pulled open the latch just as the front door slammed shut.
"Gordon?" Feng's voice shouted.

And they were on the run.

---

Dear Adele and Ladd, could you please get out of my head? It doesn't help me to tell Gordon's story when you're busy making your own in my head. Thank you.

---

R is also for resurrection, so have a great resurrection weekend! Blessed Easter

Shawna
POSTED AT 11:50 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

"What are we trying to do again?" April asked Shawna as the man slammed the door behind him.
"Saving Gordon."
"And why do we care again?"
"Shh. I'm concentrating."
April rolled her eyes. There were times that Shawna was just plain weird. Then again, ever since finding out that her best friend was a... a... something that she still couldn't understand or describe, Shawna had been acting weirder than ever. Maybe it was because she finally knew the truth, even if she didn't quite understand it.
"Can we go yet?" April asked again, looking around the quiet neighbourhood. A dog barked in the distance, but that was all. No cars passed by. "Half the houses around here look empty," April whispered to Shawna. "It's giving me the creeps. Are you sure this is Gordon's house? That horrible looking man was Gordon's father?"
"Yes. We'd better disappear now. He's coming back out." Shawna grabbed April's hand and they ran down the road, banking a hard left into a little lane full of overgrown bushes. A car drove by. April spied Gordon's father in the car, yelling into his hand phone.
"What happened?"
"They got away in time. We delayed him just enough."
"Who?"
"Gordon and his mother."
"His mother? He said he doesn't have a mother."
"She came back."
"I don't understand."
"Never mind, April. Come this way. We'll meet them at the back lane."
Shawna dragged a very confused April down the lane until they reached a crossroads. She could see Gordon chugging along behind a thin woman with straggling hair. They stopped short as Shawna stepped out onto the road in front of them.
"Shawna!" Gordon exclaimed.
"Who is she? Do you know her?" the woman laid a protective arm around Gordon.
"She's my classmate, mom," he answered. "What are you doing here?"
"We can't stop and chat, Gord. What if he comes after us?" She looked around, fretting.
"He won't, ma'am. He's gone back to the school," Shawna said calmly.
"How do you know?"
Shawna shrugged.
"Are you working for him? Are you here to... to... distract us? Let him catch up with us?"
"Rather, we distracted him from coming after you," she said.
"We?"
"Oh, hi, April," Gordon said, spying her peeking out from behind the bushes. "Another classmate," he said hurriedly to his mother.
"Ma'am have you got anywhere to go?" Shawna asked.
"I... Back to my... Oh dear, I can't bring you there." Mei started crying. "I'm sorry, Gord, I'm just making things worse for you."
"I don't..."
"You have to go back. I can't take care of you."
"Why not?"
Shawna looked around. "Why don't we take this to my house? It's safer than discussing this out in the street," she interrupted them.
"How do I know that I can trust you?" Mei asked.
"I was the one who called you," Shawna said simply and turned to go. April hurried after her. "What are you doing?" she hissed. "Trust me."
Mei stood gaping as the two girls walked away.
"Mom?" Gordon asked. He took her hand, squeezing it lightly, leading her along with him.

---

I couldn't think what to title this. I was going to go for "strange" but that's similar to "bizarre" then I realised that this bit is so Shawna-driven it might as well be named after her.

 

taxes
POSTED AT 11:42 AM

natanna

I will be back.

There are only two things constant in life: death and taxes.

We celebrated death two days ago and life today. Where does tax come in then?

Well, I'm doing mine now.

Underground
POSTED AT 11:59 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

Gordon was surprised to find out that Shawna's house was a mere 5 minutes walk away from his own. He wondered idly if he could have run here a dozen times, if only he had known. Mei gazed around in trepidation. Shawna seated them calmly around the sitting room, with gentle suggestions and quiet nudges.
"So, where were we?" she asked when they had settled down.
"Gordon has to go back," Mei said in a quivery voice. "I'm sorry. I was wrong. I... I can't..." She burst into tears. Awkwardly, April put an arm around her shoulders.
"Why mom? Why can't I stay with you?" Gordon asked, his face white and pinched.
"I can't take care of you. Where I stay, it's not... it's not for kids. I... I just didn't think. I never think!"
"What do you mean?"
"Your mother stays in a factory hostel for single women. It's hardly a place that would accept you," Shawna said. "Also, your father would find you right away."
"How would he know?" Gordon asked.
"He owns the place."
Mei turned to her in shock. "How do you know that? You mean he's known where I am all this while?"
Shawna nodded. "He has been keeping tabs on you, keeping you in line. Oh, he doesn't own the company directly - you'd have found that out pretty quickly. But the underground does. And he's a huge player in it."
"What do you mean the underground?" April asked.
"Black market. Shady stuff. Illegal stuff. They need a place to pump their money into legitimate businesses. It's called money laundering. Unfortunately the clothes factory Mei here works in is one of them. Funnily enough, Mei is also part of another underground."
"What? I'm not..."
"The underground movement for unionisation."
"That's hardly underground," Mei argued.
"It's not quite well-known, is it? Just you and a handful of other frustrated women?"
"Well... ye-es."
Shawna shrugged. "Underground. That one, Feng and his henchmen have no idea about yet."
"So that doesn't solve Gordon's problem, does it?" April asked.
"No. Sorry, I got sidetracked. Just playing around with words." Shawna seemed to blank out for a while, as if someone had turned off her inner batteries.
"I don't get it. How do you know all these things, Shawna? Are you like some super spy? Like CIA or FBI or something?"
Shawna started up again, smiled and shook her head. "You read too many spy novels. The nearest you'd get to something like that here in Malaysia would be the ISA. And you know that's not a nice thing. No. I am simply... Me. I've become everything that April has ever dreamt of being, and yet better. In a way, I am nothing more than an invention, but a living one."
Gordon stared at her and then April in puzzlement. April shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really get it either," she mouthed.
"You could both stay here, of course," Shawna said. "It's not like anyone else uses this house, except me. And I hardly use most of it anyway."
"But we..." Mei started.
"Accept," Gordon answered for her. "Mom, unless you can think of a better way, this is the only option we have."

--

This is a little disjointed. Sorry. Got my mind on a lot of stuff. Final week!

• Will be in Singapore on Saturday! Woots.  Lion King Lion King Lion King Lion King
• Also, just got my NaNoWriMo tote bag. =)
• Also also! Got my Hello Hurricane Collector's Deluxe Edition, in which my postage charges (approx RM80) is almost equivalent to the purchase cost of RM112. BAH, Vpost!

 

Vexed
POSTED AT 09:45 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

April was annoyed. Who was the adult here? Mei, or the three of them? Well, maybe if you added up our ages we'd be older than her, she groused to herself. Yet it was Mei who was blubbing in the corner whilst the three thirteen year olds sat and discussed what should be done.
It had been Gordon who had brought up the other frightening fact. "But Shawna, even if he can't find your house, he'll be able to find me in school, wouldn't he?"
"What if you changed schools?" April asked.
"Then how would he get there? This is the nearest school in the area. I can't drive," Shawna replied.
"How would I change schools anyway? Don't I need like some letter or application or permission or something?" Gordon asked.
"True. They would probably need your parents to sign off. Could your mom do that?"
"I think so. Mom?"
Mei shook her head. "I don't know."
"But what if they ask why he wants to move?" April asked. "What would he say?"
They looked glumly at each other.
"What if we just killed him," Gordon grumbled.
"You'd get jailed," Shawna pointed out.
It was vexing, the way they couldn't find any solution - even Shawna, the Wondergirl. There was a honk and April glanced at the clock.
"I have to go," she peered out the curtains to see her grandmother's car out front. "Grandma's here."
"Grandma!" Shawna exclaimed. "That's it!"
"What?"
"She'll know what to do, don't you think?"
"I guess."
"What's this all about?" Grandma asked after she had parked the car outside and found a straight-backed chair to sit in.
In a rush of overlapping words, they told her. When they had finished, they waited for her with bright expectant eyes.
"Hmmmmm." Her dark eyes lingered on Gordon for what seemed the longest time before they flicked over the Mei, where they narrowed for the merest of seconds. "I would say that you need to report this to the police."
"But..." Gordon started.
"It's more than any of you can handle."
"But..." April tried to say.
"The only thing I can think of is to get a restraining order against him. I figure it should be fairly easy - the abuse is obvious enough."
"But do you think he will obey the order?" Shawna managed to complete her sentence.
Grandma frowned in thought. "I don't know. But if he doesn't at least we can bring him to court. There will be proper legal recourse."
"But..."
"Oh, stop vexing me with your buts and what-ifs! There's nothing much you can do if Gordon's mother doesn't step up and stand up for herself and her son," she said, casting a fairly angry eye at the distraught woman.
"You don't understand. I can't," she said, wringing her hands.
Grandma sighed. "Well, that's the only solution my old brain can think of. I could talk to a lawyer tomorrow and see how we can work things out."
Gordon nodded. "At least there's no school tomorrow," he said. He grinned suddenly. "I have two days to hide out. This feels like a spy story."
"Well, things can't get any worse, can they?" April said to her grandmother as they left Shawna's house.
"You never know," the old woman replied darkly.

West
POSTED AT 11:30 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

'I pass the test', she said. 'I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.'

Excerpt from The Lord of the Rings

Shawna's fingers flickered over the keyboard in front of her. It seemed that it was time to leave soon. Her morphic field was weakening. Shawna was not to be.
A wry smile splayed across her face. Should she just disappear mysteriously, an unsolved case? Was she murdered or kidnapped or just another teenage runaway? She could almost hear the millions of questions that would be raised across the school and maybe the state. Or should she remove all traces of herself, all traces of her time on this planet? She didn't want to do that. She kind of liked April and Gordon to remember her. So getting herself murdered was not a good idea either, she decided. It might traumatize them.

It seems my time has come.
I will fade into the west with the setting of the sun.

Shawna chuckled as she wrote down the couplet that had popped in her head. April would have loved that couplet. Will, she amended. It had been a good two years. She wondered where she would go next. Maybe another city - or maybe another planet altogether.

Well, things are tying together nicely. When I'm gone, Gordon and his mom will have a place to stay. April is on her feet again, Gordon is finding his. I will just have to do something about his father before I go.

It seemed like her job was just about done. She figured she would make a fuss about having to move to some other country somewhere and that would settle it. Get her mail forwarded. No, they would just use e-mails. It was simpler that way, and hopefully she could spare a little of her senses to pick up those electronic impulses and reply - hopefully not after too long a lapse.
She yawned, noting that when April wasn't around, her periods of fading were getting more frequent. Maybe April didn't need to believe in her anymore now that she had finally stopped grieving. Or maybe she had just utterly confused the girl by telling her the truth. Fade into the west, she mused about the phrase. Maybe I will go west. What's west of here? Only the rest of the world.

---

I was a little stuck trying to get a suitable post for W. I thought of weak, weary, wise and a lot of other W words, (wend, went) but it was the fading into the west that stuck, for some odd reason in my brain.

And that's two 'stucks' in one sentence which goes to show that I'm too sleepy to think anymore.

Xerox
POSTED AT 05:42 PM in atozchallenge

natanna

It was a day full of repetitions. First the five of them (Grandma, Mei, Shawna, Gordon and April) went to a police station where they made a report. Then they waited. While they waited, April daydreamt, Shawna amused herself absorbing ideas, Gordon read nervously and Mei wept. Only Grandma sat calmly and straight-backed, alert and waiting.
After the first report, they were sent to another department to make a further report. Then they waited. April daydreamt, Shawna amused herself absorbing ideas, Gordon read nervously and Mei wept. Only Grandma sat calmly and straight-backed, alert and waiting, occasionally flipping through their copy of the report.
Next, they made a more detailed report. Then they waited. April daydreamt, Shawna amused herself absorbing more ideas, Gordon re-read the same few pages of his book, unable to concentrate, and Mei sniffled. Grandma stood and stretched her back, walking around a little to ease her aching bones.
Then they were sent to another room, where this time they had to make a verbal report and the inspector frowned at all of them through his thick glasses. He listened carefully to each of them in turn, getting annoyed when Mei started to turn a little incoherent. In the end, he peered at Gordon a little myopicly. With a grave "hm," he scribbled something on the report and sent them on to the next department where they waited even longer.
April turned to Shawna. "I'm bored. How many times do we have to do this? It's like the same thing Xerox-ed over and over every two hours!"
"Xerox isn't a word, dear," Grandma said, flipping over a page of the report. "It's a company. And we have to go through all of this because it is a necessary process to make sure that they get all the facts right."
"But we use Xerox all the time," April protested, ignoring the rest of the explanation. "Isn't it a word? I've seen it in the Oxford dictionary."
"You probably mean ‘copy', or ‘repetitive'. Just because people use the word wrongly doesn't mean you need to follow blindly."
They settle back into silence. April continued daydreaming, Shawna tried to get the police to move a bit faster by pushing out ideas instead of absorbing them, Gordon looked up from his book every ten minutes and Mei finally wiped her tears dry. Grandma looked up with a sigh, wondering how many times poor Gordon would have to repeat himself.
When they finally reached the end of the line, the police chief greeted them with a grave smile.
"I will just need your signatures here and here and here and here and here," he said, pointing to several small X-es. The four of them signed their names solemnly, leaving a panicking Mei with a pen in her shaking hand.
"Just sign your name, dear," Grandma said kindly.
"Will I get into trouble?" Mei asked.
"Oh, no. It's just to acknowledge that what you've told them is true."
"What if Feng finds out?"
"He will, don't worry. But you'll be protected."
She put her mark on the paper beside the little x with a shudder. Gordon smiled. It felt as if the huge unknown in his future was a little step closer to being settled, like the X they had to solve in algebra. 

---

This was pretty hard to write. I'm not quite sure it really counts as 'X' but, oh well!

We are nearing the finish line!

Young
POSTED AT 12:46 AM in atozchallenge

natanna

Grandma smiled as she drove them back to Shawna's house. Oh, how good it would be to be young again, she thought to herself as she listened to April's excited yammering about something or other and Shawna's slightly sarcastic replies. Had she been that way so long ago? Maybe she had. She felt very old now. Old and maybe a little tired. Wise? Maybe, or maybe not. She couldn't tell.
It didn't seem so long ago that her daughter Kai was in the back seat sharing secrets with her son-in-law, Jordan. Now it was her granddaughter and her friends. Maybe she was only as young as she felt she was.

She realised there was one more young person in the car, his presence overwhelmed by the two girls. Gordon didn't say much. He sat staring out the window.
"What are you thinking about, Gordon?" she asked kindly.
"Nothing," he replied. A few minutes later he asked, "Do you think things are really going to get better?"
She chuckled. "When you're that young, things will always get better, sonny. If you're my age, maybe they won't. They might not have enough time to. I might die before it gets a chance to get better. But you have your whole life in front of you. Even if it doesn't get better straight away, it will."
"How do you know? What if it never does?"
"I've lived this long, haven't I? Things always turns in cycles. It's just how long the cycle takes."
He didn't seem convinced, so she tried again. "It's like a graph. There will be a peak and a valley. It won't always be a valley just as it won't always be a peak. Riding that wave is what will take you from where you are now to where you will be. You just sometimes need the bad parts to remind you how to appreciate the good ones."
"But how do you know? How can you tell?" he asked again.
"I just know it. I've seen it happen over and over again in my life. It comes with experience. It comes with living life."
"How old are you?"
"Old enough to know."
He fidgeted. He couldn't help fidgeting. He had that feeling at the back of his mind that something was going to go wrong. Something was going to happen that would make things get bad again. It didn't help that April's grandmother didn't think so. It was just a feeling that he had.

"I wish I were your age again," Grandma said wistfully to Gordon as they walked into Shawna's house. April and Shawna had run ahead to check on something or other. Mei was still getting things from the car.
"Why would you?"
"There's just something about being young. Being energetic and tireless. I think I've lived so long that I look at everything with a jaded eye. There's no more sense of expectation. No more sense of waiting on something better."
"I can't wait to grow up," Gordon smiled at her. "Maybe when I reach your age I'll wish to be young again. But right now, I just want to be big enough to take care of myself."
"You're only young once. Let us take care of you for now."

 

Zzzz
POSTED AT 09:00 AM in #fridayflash, atozchallenge

natanna

It had been a long, tiring day. April yawned as she snuggled down on her bed, her comforter pulled up to her chin. She wondered if Gordon was feeling any better in his new home. She imagined that Mei would tuck him into bed and smile and say, "It's good to be back with you. I've missed you so much." Maybe she'd kiss him on the forehead and ruffle his hair and tell him to have a good rest. Then they would talk a little while about all the things she had missed of his life for the past few years and they would share a few laughs and maybe a few tears. She sighed. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she thought of her mother. The door opened a crack and Grandma peeked in.
"Have a good rest, April," she said. Spying the watery eyes, she sat by the bed, enfolding April in a huge, warm, grandmotherly hug. "It gets better," she said softly.
"I know."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Grandma pulled the comforter back up over April as she settled down again, laying a soft hand on her cheek. "Good night." She got up slowly, turned the lights off and closed the door behind her. April couldn't help the next few tears that squeezed their way out.

Gordon lay in bed, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling. In the darkness of the room, he could make out the shape of the nearby dresser and the cupboard by the wall. It seemed so strange to be sleeping in a room so large and airy. His own room had been a tight fit with all his reference books and other texts, his study table and computer all squashed into a space half this size. He turned to lie on his left side. He wondered if April was alright. She had seemed a little out sorts by the end of the day. He felt a little guilty that he had his mom back, as if it were rubbing it in her face after that talk during art class in school. Then again, her grandmother was more than a hundred times better than his mom. She was one of those old women who knew everything - and how to make it better. He turned over to his other side and wondered when he would fall asleep.

Mei tossed and turned fretfully in her sleep, waking at every slight sound. Recurring in her dreams was the image of an angry Feng bearing down on her, beating her and yelling, "Where is Gordon?" over and over again.

Shawna smiled in her sleep. In one dream, a twenty-five year old Gordon got down on one knee and with a shy smile offered a simple silver band to a blushing April. There was definitely a possibility of that hanging in the air. In another dream, the fifteen year old Gordon and April were fighting voice and nail over the last piece of cake as only siblings could. Grandma hovered in the background, telling them that if they didn't decide to share, neither would have it. In this one, April would fall head over heels for a dashing stranger - Shawna didn't know quite who it was - and Gordon would find a quiet librarian for a wife. This was also quite a strong possibility - it depended on whether Grandma had the largeness of heart to take in a new grandson.

Grandma lay down on her soft bed, closed her eyes and slept soundly.

---

Okay. So maybe that's a bit of a cop-out as well. But I couldn't think of any fitting Z word. Heh. 

At any rate, I'll be over in Singapore over the long weekend, and it will be a very animal-ish weekend! Lined up, we have a visit to the zoo followed by Disney's Lion King Musical. Whee. Meh, I'll miss Switchfoot's concert though.

So I'll kind of be... not around.

See you Monday for the um... mega-what-you-call-it. I forget, and I'm too lazy to look it up. 

*merlion wave*
POSTED AT 10:40 PM

natanna

Just popping by to say HI from the lion city where we're going to see the lion king!

I'm tired... Us Malaysians are SO bad at this thing called 'walking', you know, like actually using our FEET?

We're staying at Grand Park Hotel on Orchard Road, which is a pretty snazzy place. Had dinner at El Toro, which was not quite what we expected, had Ben & Jerry's and are now settling in for a good sleep.

Oh yes, and I found the last book in the Ender Series, the one I didn't know I didn't have. Yay!

Good night, people!